Starquake
by YunikoYokai
Summary: Join Endellion Shaik, a girl with more questions than answers to her arrival in a time far beyond her lifespan. But as her strange adventures continue, she is plagued by dreams and her own personal demons. Lost, she struggles to fit into a galaxy far in the future, with a growing sense of dread for her future.
1. Chapter 1

The blizzard howled like a rampaging bull, the dry flakes of snow battering anything in their path. The conditions were extreme, the white out made it impossible to see anything. The chill was enough to shatter concrete with time, and even metal finally lost to the ice. That was were I had found myself. Already fully covered, buried, in the snow. So numb was I that although my sluggish mind remembered hypothermia, it could not process much beyond that. Time had been a bitter-sweet father, the snow had eventually to become a blanket, keeping the wind chill out. But that assumed you were already warm enough to keep a small hole warm. No, I did not have that luxury.

I was certain death was creeping like the ice on my skin, how I hadn't passed out from the cold was a miracle in itself. What images I remembered of that day was simply the white out, the roofless building a faded blur around me. I did not understand where I was, how I got here. The last thing I remembered was being with my family, in a warm room with a roaring fire. How you came from that to here remained the mystery to me.

I did not know how long I lay there. Days possibly, the nights were bitter and the days were only slightly better. Every now and then, a low rumble would sound, reaching a crescendo of what could have been on the other side of the wall, but they all disappeared soon after. The days melted into a long sequence, never feeling like a start or end. That was how I had been discovered.

"The distress beacon appears to be much further south than this,"

"This old facility has been abandoned for years, I doubt there is much here,"

"We need to cut through here anyway to get to the beacon. The Mako can't get through this gorge,"

"Well, let's hope we can get through here, this blizzard is nearly impossible to see thro-ahh!"

"Are you alright?"

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Just a void in the snow. Damn foot fell into...it?"

"Something wrong?" There was silence for a time.

You could imagine my surprise. Barely conscious and covered in a couple feet of snow, then having this large 2-toed foot crash on top of you was one way to wake up. I could only stare at it, the boots following the curvature of large talons. Thankfully, whoever stepped on me caught themselves enough to stand on me, but not crush any bones in the process. The chill made my eyes sting, so I had to close them again. The foot eventually moved, then returned to dig some of the snow back. The crunching snow and howling wind were the only sounds as the rest of the team approached.

"Ah, looks like someone got lost in the snow,"

"Poor bastard. Any identification?"

"Not than I can see," A three-fingered hand, thumb included, reached down as if to roll me over. As I felt myself move, for the first time in an eternity, the pain of frozen muscles popped my eyes open, a pained wheeze rang out. The hand immediately withdrew, startled.

"Spirits, she's still alive!"

"Dig her out! Now!"

I don't remember much after that. Recalling the memory was like trying to recollect the memory of a memory, it felt distant. I recalled remembering the sensation of being dug out, but couldn't remember the actual feeling. I remembered the memory of a human in dark armour, red and white running down his right arm, hoisting me up. He had been calling reassurances to me over the wind. Then I remembered the howl stopped, and I was surrounded by metal and plastic rather than snow and ice. I could remember the feeling of the rough blankets they all but dumped on me. The constant chatter, radio noise as well. And then the ground shuddered like a car with poor suspension. Then silence other than a faint surge of something releasing pent up power.

All of this seemed like I was watching someone else's memory. I hadn't felt so disconnected from anything before. Part of me was glad to be safe, the other part wanted to go home. I don't remember anything after that surge. I probably passed out. My next memory, my first vivid one, was the one of waking, when I realised something was horribly wrong.

My head ached as if it had been locked in a vice. It was enough to make a small sound escape my mouth. Only when the background noise stopped did I realise people had been talking. Even with eyes shut, the light leaking through my eyelids was enough to increase my discomfort. I tried rolling over. The muscles whined, but the eyes stopped wanting to water. I decided that was more important until I figured out where I was. When I finally plucked the courage to open my eyes, I stared at a wall. Well, that explained why it was darker on this side. I lay there for a moment, staring at the metallic walls. Once my eyes no longer hurt, I carefully rolled over, staring at the rest of the room.

Large lit circles lit the head of each bed, with a robotic arm beside each bed. The room looked almost navy in colour, in part due to the dark colouration and the floor lightning. The blinding light was the light that encircled the top of the bed. There were two other beds here, with a desk on the opposite wall and the furthest wall by a door, all with brilliant orange screens hovering in the air. I could only stare at them, looking through them to the wall on the other side. Where was she?

"You are a very lucky girl," a female voice pipped up. I whipped around, staring at a grey-haired woman with subdued green eyes strode over, a small pad in her hand with a screen that was see-through and buttons on the bottom. She seemed to be wearing some kind of strange jump suit, dark grey with light (nearly white) patches on over the shoulders collar and arching over the right side of her chest.

"I am not sure how long you were out in that blizzard, but you were very close to death. How are you feeling?" I stared for a moment.

"A little sore. T-Thank you, for everything,"

"My pleasure, however you may wish to thank the Commander. It was he and his crew who dug your out and brought you on the Normandy,"

"My thanks," I answered wearily, still not sure what to make of the situation. "I-I'll thank him when I see him."

"Commander Shepard is currently on a mission, so I shall notify him you have awoken when he returns to the ship. For now, however, I suggest that you get some sleep. I am Dr. Chakwas,"

"Endellion, Endellion Shaik," I answered slowly. Chakwas gave me a simple nod before returning to her desk. I lay there, listening to the faint hum of an engine of some sort. I kept glancing to the doctor, sometimes an orange hologram would surround her arm like a medieval gauntlet. Nothing was as it seemed when I left home. This sort of tech didn't exist. There was some radio chatter after a few hours though. Chakwas glanced over at me.

"The Commander has returned to the ship, I would have preferred if you had gotten some sleep, the rest will do you good,"

"I'll...rest once my head is on straight," I gave her a smile. Her answering one seemed to suggest she didn't quite believe me well enough to smile. After a few moments silence, she finally left the room, the doors whisking themselves away with a shoosh. I gathered myself, wondering what this commander was like. He helped save her, right? He couldn't be all that bad...I was alone for at least another 15 minutes until the doors pried themselves apart again. I hoped my eyes didn't pop out of my skull.

It wasn't human. About 6 feet tall, this creature walked on two toes, heel hovering off the ground. The long lanky legs protruded out the hips as if stuck on, an incredibly thin waist only amplified this. The chest flared into wide shoulders, with more lanky limbs leading to 2-fingered hands and a thumb. The armour seemed to outline a protruding carapace around the back of the neck. Scales seemed to climb up the back of the neck. The face seemed to be made of several parts, large mandibles seemed glued to the side of the face, running up to the jaw point where it flared into a small fan shape at the end. The mouth seemed almost beak like, the nose was flat and rectangular with two grooves near the bottom. A large crest of spines flowed off the top of the head like a bird's crest. Avian-like winter blue eyes stared at me with interest.

It paused by the bed, began speaking, but I couldn't understand anything. I felt bad about having to interrupt it, seeing as this was a brand new species and all...

"I-I'm sorry." I started. It answered something back, maybe something along the lines of 'why' but I couldn't be sure. "I do not understand your language," I managed a small flick of my mouth. It seemed confused for a moment, muttered some things to itself. That gauntlet like computer flared up on it's arm as it typed something, waved it's hand over me then looked at a screen in his palm again.

"Is this better?" it asked, distinctly male.

"Ah. Y-Yes, it is. Thank you,"

"So you don't have a translator in place. Dr. Chakwas said she couldn't find any trace of you on the Alliance database to try and find your medical records. I suppose that means there are other things you don't have," he grinned. I managed a small smile.

"Vaccinations as well, probably,"

"Oh don't let Dr. Chakwas hear you say that, she loves 'invasive' procedures," he even twitched his fingers beside his head. I couldn't help but laugh.

"If I don't see the needle, I'm golden," I did grin that time. He held out his hand.

"Garrus Vakarian. I was the one who...found you in the snow,"

"Ah, so your the one who stepped on me. Endellion Shaik" I reached up slowly, my muscles still crying in pain, to take his hand. His grip was firm, but the shake was gentle.

"Yeah, sorry about that. But spirits, you have me a fright. Now then, what were you doing out there all on your lonesome with nothing more than summer wear?" he asked, half joking from the tone. I flushed slightly. I was still in my t-shirt...maybe I could squeeze my way out of this.

"I, I don't know," I sighed. That was truthful. "I don't even know where I was...or am. It's like my mind has had a partial formatting done," Garrus frowned.

"Amnesia?" I stared at him. I hoped he wouldn't see the grinding gears in my head.

"I...I don't know. How does one know if they have amnesia?"

"Well you know your name so that's a good place to start," Endellion pondered this for a moment. She settled her weight on the bed as she sat up, intertwining her fingers to rest her chin.

"I am Endellion Wynne Shaik. I was born in a small village in highlands of Scotland, Earth. I am 21 years old. My father was William Shaik, 56. My mother was Heather McCullen, 53," I frowned. Basic stuff. But what if he asked more detailed stuff? Could I carry the amnesia act? Would I be caught? Could I feign ignorance? I just sighed sadly as I frantically drained my brain's resources for answers.

"Friends? Other family? Do you remember how you ended up on Xawin?" I stared up at him and his gaze changed. Maybe it looked more pathetic than I realised.

"I never really had many friends. One or two. Other family?" I shrugged loosely. "The usual aunts, uncles, cousins. Only child," I sighed. I had to make my choice now. Amnesia or ignorance?

"I...My parents were taking me somewhere. A surprise for graduating. Everything was going fine until the electricity died. The...the fire spread so fast. W-We managed to get to the shuttles," she prayed that was a usable word. "But no one else got to mine. So I released it before the smoke got too thick. It gets hazy after that. I think when I landed on the planet's surface I tried to see if there was any civilisation around. I saw the ruined building and hoped but..."

"It was totally abandoned," Garrus finished. I nodded sadly. "I'm...sorry about your parents," I stared at him for the longest time. It was all I could do that didn't make me look or sound stupid. "We didn't find any survivors," I closed my eyes for effect, dropped my stare to my hands. It wasn't hard to feign the sadness. The reality that my family may be dead anyway for all I know was a horrible enough feeling. That was something I needed to know.

"Garrus," the alien leaned on a hip, waiting. "Can...you give me the date please? I...I need to know how long I was out for,"

"Sure, it's the 13th of May, 2183," Garrus answered back easily. I kept my gaze fixed to the sheets my hands were clenching.

"A-A little while then," was all I said. Garrus gave me a critical stare, trying to gauge my emotional state. He glanced to the door, listening to something she couldn't hear. He seemed to frown. She had a hard time trying to read his expression. With those mandibles running along his jaw, his mouth could only just be seen between them and sometimes above them when the mandibles flared.

"Do you need a few minutes to collect yourself? The commander is waiting outside," I couldn't look at him any more. I nodded harshly. I hoped he took it as I was breaking down. I nearly was. He gave me a pat on the shoulder, a friendly symbol. He exited the room, the doors disappearing in 6 or 7 different segments into the frame. The closed soon after he was through.

I breathed heavily for a few minutes. My brain tried to do the calculation, it only got as far as 100 years. That alone meant everything I knew was long dead and buried or changed beyond recognition. My mind was in meltdown, my heart was at breaking point. My family: dead. My boyfriend: dead. My previous life: dead. I buried my face in my knees, already holding their images close. My father's brilliant blue-grey eyes, so intelligent and playful. My mother's grin, determination and warmth in a single movement. Travis's touch, so light but sure. Gone. All gone.

And I was surrounded by aliens. Humans as well but aliens. And I had chosen ignorance over amnesia. Now I had a battle of trying to feign information I knew when in reality I knew nothing. Garrus was nice, but what the hell was he? How could I squeeze that information out of him? And what would happen after I was well enough to leave this boat? I assumed it was a boat, only boats had things like SSV attached to the start of their names. I curled up tightly, muscles tensing and heating. The pain rocketed through me, but I was just relieved to know I was alive. Or maybe that was a bad thing because I realised I wasn't dreaming. Dammit, but this was so terrifying!

"Garrus?" I called. I had to meet this commander. I had to thank him, had to figure out what was going on with me when I was better. So many questions. My survival would hinge on the answer. The door opened a handful of seconds later. Garrus leaned on the frame.

"Ready?" I nodded slowly. Garrus looked back out the door, nodded his head towards me. A broad shouldered human strode through. He was reasonably tanned, his sky blue eyes seemed friendly enough. His dark hair was cut very short. He was only slightly shorter than Garrus, but he seemed to emit a very strange aura. He was a commander for a reason. Muscular and well built, he strode with an air of confidence. I stared at him for a long time. The slight stubble added maturity. He had seen war. Lots of war. The scar across his nose answered to that.

"Glad to see you are awake. I am Commander John Shepard, Alliance Navy and Council Spectre,"

Oh God, what had I gotten myself into?


	2. Chapter 2

So, as it turned out, the commander of the Normandy was also the captain. Just not through the title. Oh and the Normandy was a spaceship...a _spaceship_. I was in actual space. Right now. Currently going faster than light. I was breaking every law of physics that I knew right this second. I loved it. So much. What else did I learn? The Alliance, from what I guess without directly asking, was the human navy, which is what space apparently fell under. I would have said air force but I suppose space_ship _wouldn't make sense in the air force.

My mind had also finally processed that important calculation. 170 years had passed since my lovely dinner with my parents and me waking up in a snowstorm. I kept that information to myself. So most people I knew would be dead almost twice over. The grief that ate at me was soul destroying. If I didn't have larger things to worry about, keeping this façade up, I would have been a huddled ball in a corner. Instead I was a huddled ball on a bed. Not much of an improvement, but the crew seemed respectful enough to realise that the loss of my parents in the 'crash' would be hard on me.

Then te was the important question of what was going to happen to me. From the sounds of things, unless I worked quickly, I was going to be dropped off at a place called the 'Citadel'. It was their main hub for politics in the galaxy. Oh and that reminded me. The galaxy, yeah, was connected through these large gun-like transporters called Mass Relays. On top of which, there were many, many species out there. I guessed that much when Shepard said 'for all species' when absently talking about the Citadel. My brain was nearly exploding. So many new species, so much new information, so much new technology.

And that brought me nicely to my health. My immune system was for a life 170 years ago. Would it be able to cope in an environment as diverse as this? I made up some sort of story; I had never left Earth before and lived remotely, my family were techno- and xenophobic, they kept me away from anything to do with them and as such my knowledge was thin. I basically told him I was stuck in the dark ages. He just laughed and gave a sympathetic smile. He had told me he was impressed with how well I coped with Garrus, giving that he was a, what did he call him? A turian? Yeah, turian rang a bell. Something about a war between humans and them. I managed to laugh slightly at it. I hoped that would put the crew into a 'here's-some-free-information' style of mood if I ever plucked up the courage to talk to them.

I did extend an offer of my geological skills, however after doing so I realised I may need to do some background reading into the different planets. Who knows what rocks formed on these planets. What about ammonia based rocks, if such a thing existed? I frowned as I thought about it more deeply. The crystal and elemental structure on Earth was defined. I could safely assume that, if the correct elements were there, then an periditite on Earth would be the same elsewhere. The only difference would be if it took up trace elements, Rhodium, Nickel, Strontium and the like. Maybe it would be possible for the trace elements to replace the normal magnesium and iron in an olivine. I frowned even more. Wouldn't that change the chemical structure entirely? The trace elements weren't-

"You're talking to yourself," Dr. Chakwas chuckled. That snapped me out of my mindset completely, leaping up to stare at her. My face felt hot, that meant it was brilliant scarlet.

"S-Sorry," I managed to laugh. I buried my face in my knees with a slight whimper/groan hybrid. Well, that was embarrassing. Dr. Chakwas just laughed with good nature.

"I wouldn't worry, when I was in med school, there was this one boy who wouldn't shut up. He had problems thinking things logically internally, so he would run a monologue every time he was working something out. Actually helped me in one exam," I grinned.

"Well, it helps you remember what you are meant to do. I did it during my driving test. The test examiner said I should consider being a commentator," I cleared my throat. "And into third for this bend, watch out for those lights, they have been green for a while now. Oh and there's a pedestrian eyeing the road, better keep an eye on him!" I over-dramatised the experience, trying to imitate a sports' commentator. I knew my foolishness did its thing when the doctor's laugh rang out.

"Now _that_ would have been a very entertaining exam," I laughed easily, at last. "I am relieved to see you so perky. It normally takes people days to get back to some semblance of normality after such a traumatic event,"

"If I don't laugh, I'll break," I winked. "You don't want unleashed crazy on your ship," Dr. Chakwas gave an easy smile, but it seemed as if she was taking my words to heart.

"No, indeed I do not," She looked out the window to the mess hall, watching the people mingle for lunch. I followed her gaze, staring at the human crew. But there were more aliens too, just no where near as many. Garrus was talking to a petite looking creature, wearing a full body suit with a purple hued helmet. I could only see the bright sparks that marked their eyes. Just where their mouth was, the metal was shaped into a circle with a light in the middle that lit up whenever they spoke. The top of the head was covered in a purple hood, swirls of lighter purple patterned it. There were more swathes of the material draped over their chest, it also hugged their hips at the sides of their thighs. Their hands were the same as Garrus' only more thinner. Their legs also were similar in shape, it was like they had an extra bone just after the knee, kicking the leg back like the hind leg of a horse. Unlike Garrus, they walked flat footed on two toes.

The other alien I saw looked more like a tank. The hips were like Garrus', but it reminded me of a turtle, with the red crest on his head and the hump over his shoulders. He was nearly the same size as Garrus but stockier. It, at the very least, had 3 toes, maybe 4 if you included the one on the rear, on his feet. A small stumped tail could just be seen on the back. His red eyes seemed as harsh as his deep base voice. A nasty scare ran down his face and throat, another on his crest. Many of the humans seemed nervous around him.

I felt out of my element.

Dr. Chakwas excused herself to go and collect some lunch, promising to bring back some for yourself. I gave her a friendly smile in answer before staring at the bed again. I scrubbed my hand down my face, stressed. I had to try and relax. I twitched my left hand, mimicking guitar chords without the guitar. I could hear the sound in my head. The sound of an acoustic guitar did help me steady my breathing slightly. I did keep an eye on the door. No need to make me seem too insane. I looked out the window once more, trying to see what was happening, my hand still firing off chords without even thinking of it. The tune in my head demanded it.

The commander was speaking to Dr. Chakwas, several other people were listening with interest. Garrus seemed to crack a joke, since the turtle-like alien laughed. I sighed, giving up trying to read their lips. I was always horrible at reading people. I glanced at the window just to see Dr. Chakwas approach the door. I flexed my fingers to stop them.

The meal was alright, for military rations. I felt well enough to leave the med bay, but part of me didn't want to. There were too many people out there. The thought made me shudder. Dr. Chakwas said I was to stay put until the vaccinations kicked in. At least another 8 hours. Fast acting, I snorted lightly. The hours passed, and I was getting restless. I was in goddam _space_! I wanted to look at the stars. Eventually I tested my legs ability to hold me. Aside from some numbness from not moving for so long, they held as well as they usually did. Dr. Chakwas had evacuated the med bay an hour or so ago. The mess hall was abandoned, and there were no aliens. I breathed steadily. There was a window across the way. Just a quick look, nothing drastic.

My first problem was the door. I didn't know how to open it. It just opened for everyone else, but it stayed stubbornly shut for me. I studied the screen hologram by the door. There were some keys, possibly. I just pressed one and prayed. It jumped when the doors slid open, expecting Dr. Chakwas to be standing there. The doorway was empty. Ok, good start. I poked my head around the corner. There was a corridor in front of me, stairs leading up at both ends. A wall broke it apart from the rest of the room. I carefully shuffled my way to the window. Once the stars captured my gaze, I was held prisoner.

The vast emptiness engulfed me. The stars pinpoints in the distance. I could see nebula gas colouring in the distance. My hand itched. Suddenly a sun appeared as the ship banked. I shielded my eyes before I realised the glass had inbuilt protectors in them. I could openly stare at the burning ball of gas, watch the convection flow and ebb. It was a yellowish sun, similar to the sun I was familiar with. I frowned. I guess I hoped to see a Red Giant or a blue sun. Maybe even a binary? A Neutron star? White dwarf? I could feel my eyes sparkle at the thought.

That was when I saw the planet.

I was transfixed. It held a red hue, but there were lights on the dark side of the planet. Life. I could large fractures rupturing the surface, radiation cracks from a large impact, the crater barely visible due to it's rotation. I saw the ice caps on the poles, I saw the sea lit up with a magenta hue as ocean life gave colour to the darkness. I could only stare, helpless. The Normandy was sailing, seemingly slowly past it. I gripped the bar on the wall. _Don't leave, _I was saying to myself. But the ship was sailing, and the planet was disappearing out of sight. I searched the darkness. There must be a solar system. More planets? I didn't see any. And those I did were too far to see but a coloured speck.

Why was this breaking my heart so much?

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

I leapt a mile in the air, spinning around. The helmeted alien joined me by the window. Its voice seemed feminine. It stared out the window, seemingly as enraptured as I had. I slowly relaxed, returned my stare to the stars.

"Yeah. I've...never seen anything like it,"

"Commander Shepard said you hadn't left Earth until recently. It must feel so strange," I turned to her. "So be on a planet for so long, and then sail the stars," I felt my eyes soften.

"It's...a little disorientating. But I've never been so entranced before,"

"My people travel the galaxy, never staying in one place too long. With a fleet of our size, I can hardly blame people for getting nervous. I suppose the closest experience I have to what you may be feeling would be when I first landed on a planet. The sights, the sounds, even the smells. So many people cramped within such sprawling cities," I smiled.

"I'll probably be like that when I land on a new planet. Apart from Earth and...Xa-whatever it was, I've never been anywhere else," I studied the girl beside me. "I'm Endellion, or Dell,"

"Tali," the girl seemed to smile, turning to look at me. "Has everyone been as nice to you as they have to me?"

"I've only met Dr Chakwas, Shepard and Garrus. But so far, absolutely," I smiled. "This ship is amazing. Never seen anything like it," I stared to the stars again. Tali laughed.

"Have you seen the engine?" the enthusiasm was apparent. "That drive core is incredible. I have no idea how they fit such a large engine in this tiny ship. It out-classes most of the ships in the flotilla!"

"What would your people do with a ship like this then?" I grinned. Tali pondered the question.

"Since we live in ships, I suppose we would use it for scraps. As an amazing a ship it is, we quarians need larger ships to live in. Although," she really thought about the question. "We could use it purely for stealth missions. The geth wouldn't see us coming,"

Quarians. I had a species name!

"It can turn invisible?" I asked, awed. Tali laughed.

"Of sorts. It can disappear off all monitoring systems, but you simply need to look out a window to spot it. Thankfully, space is a large place,"

"That, is so cool...apart from the whole 'look out a window' bit," I laughed. I smiled. "Do you know where we are going?"

"I think we are heading to the Citadel, but I think we are taking a detour. I think the commander got a message from the Alliance," I nodded. So I had some time to figure out what to do. Gaze back out the window, I saw a large silver contraption in the distance. It looked like a 2-pronged fork, swelling near the base to house a circular structure twirling like electrons around an atom, a brilliant blue light radiating from the core.

"We're getting ready to hit the mass relay," Tali noted. So that's what a mass relay was.

"Yeah," I answered. "I never understood how these work, I read something about them," I hinted slightly.

"The element zero core gives the power required to launch ships almost instantaneously anywhere in the galaxy. Most relays are linked, so you transit between two paired relays, then launch yourself from another relay. The Protheans were an amazing race to have created such a thing..."

Prothean?" Tali seemed to smile.

"An ancient race who disappeared 50'000 years ago," Tali explained. "The mass relays, the Citadel, all their doing," I stared.

"And they just disappeared?" I asked. Tali nodded.

"Vanished, no sign of them at all. Apart from a few scattered Prothean artefacts," I frowned. There was something trying to form in my head. A hazy memory. I couldn't make out shapes or sounds, just blurs of colours. I shook it off. Very strange, must have hit my head. We stared out the window again, until we hit the mass relay. I had been expecting to be whipped off my feet, so my surprise was warranted when I remained standing. I had a lot of adapting to do.

"And just what are you doing out of the med bay, little lady?" the voice had a distinct flanging to it. I only knew one person who's voice did that. I looked around to Garrus grinning, possibly, it was hard to tell. He walked towards the window. "And I thought Dr. Chakwas said to stay in bed until the vaccinations had done its job," I flushed, found out. I heard Tali laugh beside me.

"Ah, so disobeying the doctor's orders, huh?" I could hear her grin. I the flush became a full red face. I stared at the floor, gripping my trousers as tightly as my fingers would allow. Garrus' keen eyes spotted it though.

"Hey, hey," he patted my shoulder in a comforting way, his tone soft. "We're just playing, we won't tell her," he winked. I managed a small smile, still unsure on how to deal with it all. "You heading to bed, Zorah?"

"I am, was just getting something to drink," Tali answered simply. "I would have thought you had already turned in, Vakarian, since you were out on a mission,"

"Shepard wanted to speak to Kaiden and I, make sure he got everything right about the distress beacon and our little friend here," I managed a meek glare. I was shorter than both. I fell short Garrus' neck while Tali barely had to look up to stare him in the eyes. I was bending my head back if I got too close. I was used to being called small, so it didn't bother me that much, but still...Garrus just laughed at me, patting my shoulder again.

"You'll be fine, kid. Now why don't you get yourself to bed. It's nearly midnight." I blinked slightly. I glanced out the window, a blue coloured aura seemed to be surrounding the ship as it soared FTL.

"Can I...stay up a bit longer? I...I would like to look at the stares a bit longer,"

"Of course you can, just try to keep quiet. Dr Chakwas is asleep, so you'll be fine for another hour or so at least," Tali laughed slightly. Garrus grinned.

"If she does catches you though, you didn't see us," I gave him a bigger smile than the last.

"Deal," The pair laughed before heading to the crew's sleeping quarters, at the end of the corridor at the back of the ship. I glanced at what I assumed to be cryo pods, but they disappeared behind the door.

I remained standing for a time, listening to the quiet hum of the engine powering their way through space. I breathed slowly. I was going to be quickly running out of time. I turned to the stars again, the glittering dots that seemed to make my entire situation a speck in comparison. I didn't even know what to do. I was going to be dropped off in a strange new place with no one to turn to. How long before they realise that my so called family on Earth were dead? If they did send me back to Earth, then what? I only had my degree, which was dated 170 years ago. Who would believe it was me?

All these thoughts ran through my mind, unable to stay on a question long enough to come to a coherent end. By the time I came to the conclusion it was time to sleep, my mind was a muddle of 3 dozen questions. Some were sensible; how would I cope outside this ship? Some where insane; what if I was dreaming all this? In the end, I sighed, giving up. Everything was too confusing, and I didn't want Dr. Chakwas getting angry at me so I returned to the medical bay. Again, I struggled with the door. Once in, and the door secure, I was on the bed staring at a wall.

Sleep didn't come easily.


	3. Chapter 3

"Commander, we are approaching the Citadel," the pilot's voice, Joker, rang out. I glanced up from my chair at the edge of the table in the mess hall as Shepard looked up from his datapad. It had been a couple of days, and I hadn't met much more of the crew, mostly the humans. I still hadn't plucked up the courage to speak to Wrex, the turtle-like alien. Garrus told me the krogan, I had another new species name to remember, was perfectly approachable but could be quite blunt.

"Alright Joker, bring us in. I'll be there in a moment,"

"Roger that, Commander," Joker's voice broke over the intercom. Shepard rose to his feet, looking around the mess hall for a moment.

"Garrus, Kaiden," Kaiden looked up, the dark haired human, muscular in build, had been the other member of the team that had found me. "Suit up, I need you both with me,"

"Aye, Aye, Commander,"

"Yes, Commander," Garrus responded. The pair disappeared to suit up into their armour, Shepard disappearing into his quarters on the opposite end of the mess hall that the med bay was.

I remained quiet. I hadn't left this particular deck aside from one instance, I was too worried about disturbing people by nosing around and asking what everything did. Tali offered to show me the drive core, so it seemed rude to say no. I still had the image of that huge blinding blue contraption powering the ship burned into my memory.

Aside from that, I had stayed out of the way, trying to think of what I was going to do with my life. So much uncertainty. I was now out of time. They were probably going to hand me to an embassy, leave me to figure out my next step. I couldn't blame them. This was a military vessel and they were chasing a dangerous turian, the same species as Garrus. He had been a Spectre, like the commander. They were an elite group, working above the law to get the job done that the Council, the seat of power for the galaxy as a whole, didn't want to get their hands dirty on.

Garrus emerged in his armour, the black and dark blue outfit highlighted the carapace and his ultra-thin waist. His helmet was clipped to his belt, a sniper rifle and assault rifle, both compacted and ready to pop out in an instant, on his back. Kaiden was not far behind, a sub-machine gun and pistol at both hips. Shepard emerged in dark grey armour, the right arm with a red stripe running down it, a thinner white one down the middle of the red. An 'N7' symbol decorated the collar of the armour.

"Alright, Dell, you're coming with us. Look lively now," I jumped at the commander's voice. I was on my feet a moment later, dragging the only thing I had. A thin black coat with the Alliance's symbol on the chest. The split arch with 3 stars under it shone with a rich blue colour. It had been a gift from one of the female members of the crew. I owned nothing else but the clothes on my back.

I followed the trio up to the next floor. I stared at the large hologram in the middle of the room. A platform at the back of the room took them over a hologram of the galaxy. In front of that, a long empty space lit up with a hologram of the ship, computers all around it. The room thinned into a corridor, more computers with holographic screens on both sides of the raised walkway. I could see the cockpit at the end of the corridor, and the sight of the Citadel through the windows.

The 5 armed structure reminded me of a fan that had curled its arms inwards, like a flower closing it's petals. I stared at the massive place, awed by the scale. Like a flower, a tower stood out from a ring at the bottom of the arms. I couldn't ask questions. It would be stupid, or at the very least incoherent. I was struggling to comprehend this place. Where did the people live? How did the live without suits, if they did? Was there gravity? I sighed, unable to think of good questions that didn't make me sound like an idiot. Shepard approached the cockpit, speaking with the pilot. I ignored the radio chatter as the pilot steered this ship nimbly through the air. The ship eventually pulled into dock, allowing the shore party to leave.

I could only stare across the city skyline, tall buildings, speckled the horizon, lights coloured everything. I didn't need a helmet, I didn't need a space suit. I assumed the cities were encased. I stared up to the other 4 arms above me. I knew there were cities like this on those arms as well. I could feel it. I had to take a deep breath, remember how gravity worked. Those people would think we were the upside down ones. I couldn't see an obvious shield in the sky to explain the obvious lack of a vacuum. I followed Garrus' tall frame to the elevator, eyes captured by the lights of the structures as the crisp-packet like cars soaring through the sky. The elevator forced the city from my sights. I leaned against a wall sadly. Maybe some time off the ship would be good. I could look at the city all I wanted without worry of being dragged somewhere.

"Something wrong?" I looked up quickly, Kaiden tilted a head slightly in my direction. I received glances from the rest of the team.

"O-Oh no, I just...I've never been here before," I shrugged, trying to appear content. "Just wanted to look at the sights, I guess,"

"The Presidium is a sight to see," Garrus chuckled. "But it'll keep you occupied while we speak to the ambassador," I studied him curiously. Just what did he mean?

The elevator coughed us out at a place called the C-Sec Academy, C-Sec being Citadel-Security. Garrus informed me that he worked for C-Sec before Shepard picked him up to help him chase down this turian. I trotted beside the long limbed crew, taking me up and down more elevators to take me out of 'The Wards' as it was called. The whole place in the academy was lit up with a blue hue. Plants dotted the place, part of me worried for my hay fever. I apparently wouldn't be safe from that even in space. Markets, clubs, hospitals and C-Sec were all in here. Then we broke into the Presidium.

I stared at the sky, fake as could be but still it appeared real enough to keep me gazing. Water swelled in ponds and lakes, grass didn't rustle though. I didn't feel a wind. The area was much brighter than in the Wards. Everything was lain in white metal and pale concrete, trees dotting the landscape to make it a pretty sight. My mind was boggled at staring to the horizon, because I realised we were in the ring that the arms were connected to. The water followed the outside of the ring, disappearing into the ceiling as the loop continued. I kept a hand on Garrus' helmet, knowing my staring would get me lost. He grinned, but remained silent.

We finally entered the embassies, the doors splitting along the diagonal and disappearing into roof and ceiling. Climbing pale coloured steps, we entered the human office. Two men were in the office; one looked elderly with grey hair and wrinkled face, his dark skin looked sun-bleached. His brown eyes flew over to them, immediately turning hard at the sighed of Shepard. I swallowed hard. Judging by the pale outfit he was wearing, he was the ambassador. The second man was wearing a navy uniform, his dark hair had a few strands of grey. His skin wasn't so much darker than the previous, but richer. His hazel eyes seemed friendly enough, even lit up upon seeing Shepard. Two men with the complete opposite opinions on Shepard. This wasn't going to end well.

"Shepard, good to see you," The military man walked over to greet them.

"Anderson, keeping well, I assume," Shepard grinned.

"It has taken some getting used to. The lack of military rations are a welcome, however," the old navy captain laughed. "What brings you back to the Citadel so soon?"

"I was investigating a distress beacon on Xawin, we found a young girl passed out in the snow. We've tried searching for her records but we've turned up nothing," I managed a small glare.

"I'm not that young, Commander," I coughed quietly. "I'm 21," Shepard blinked before chuckling.

"Could've fooled me," he grinned. I managed a smile. Anderson patted Shepard's shoulder.

"We'll look after her, don't worry," The other man scowled slightly.

"Captain Anderson, I believe this is my area of expertise," he interrupted. I made a slight face at him. He rubbed me the wrong way, quite a lot actually.

"Of course, Ambassador Udina," Anderson answered. From his tone, it was something he said simply to keep the peace. Shepard was working hard on keeping his expression pleasant.

"I am Ambassador Udina, the human ambassador on the Citadel,"

"Endellion," I manage to answer.

"I will need you to fill out some information so we can try and find you. It you would please come this way," I reluctantly released Garrus' helmet from my grip, walking passed Shepard. I gave him a pleading expression, which he caught with a confused furrow of his brow. Udina had me stand by his desk, facing the door we had entered, the holographic screen before me was alight with empty boxes. Udina turned to the gathering, I could hear his patronising tone dig its way through my skull like a drill. I even heard Garrus make a soft rumble in his chest and Kaiden was glaring unhappily.

I filled out the form as best as I could. So used to seeing these types of form, I filled out the information automatically, filling in my date of birth as the 28th of November, 1992. I input my address as per usual, it wasn't until I already hit 'accept' that I realised I should have taken time into consideration. Thankfully, there was a back button, but not before I read over the profile that appeared.

It was _my_ profile. My parents' names and date of births were there, my photograph from my passport. My medical records even. Even scans of my birth certificate. Everything...and in the 'Status' box, 'Dead' stared back at me. I glanced to Udina, still rattling on about something. Maybe I could change my information rather than...I looked to Garrus and Kaiden. I had to work fast. I began to see if I could even change these things. The ambassador was quite stupid. My eyes lit up once I could change my date of birth. I was on _his_ computer after all, anything I changed would look like Udina had done it. I added 170 years to my current date, and then again to my parents. It automatically updated the death dates. I swallowed carefully. Udina was looking like he was getting impatient waiting for me to finish what was going on. I needed more time!

"Are you done, girl?" Udina finally asked. I jumped. I glanced to the screen.

"S-Sorry. I-I'm not used to this technology," I stumbled heavily over my words, face flushing violently. Udina raised an eyebrow. Garrus interrupted.

"Her family were technophobic. Doesn't even have a translator," he added. Kaiden and Shepard also gave their fill. I wasted no time. I severed the links to the rest of my family. Family ties cut, dates changed, updated my status, I double checked everything else while the crew filled the ambassador in on a few details they learned about me. Once satisfied everything was 'modernised' I could finally stop hacking my way through the system like a criminal.

"I-I think I've found me," I summoned. The crew fell silent to allow Udina to strut over, looking relieved they didn't have to deal with him. I loved out the way so he could look over it. The crew waited with interest.

"Well, everything seems normal. I am unsure on why you were unable to get her details," He frowned. He began typing something. My nerves were throttling me at this point. He turned to me, studying me intently. "Thank you, Commander, Anderson. I shall take it from here," Shepard shared a look with Anderson, the hidden conversation was too difficult for me to even guess. "I shall ensure her safe return to Earth,"

"Very well, thank you, Ambassador," Shepard answered stiffly. The ambassador dismissed them. I gave a frantic look to Shepard, Garrus and Kaiden. All looked unhappy to some degree. The slowly left the room until only Udina and I were left. I folded my hands together, swallowing hard lumps down my throat. I sat down at the desk. Udina sighed and rested his chin on his hands.

"Alright, Endellion. I am looking over your file and there are...inconsistencies," I swallowed. "This file was created in the early 2000s, when all records were beginning to turn digital and yet it says you were born 2162, in a village that no longer exists," I fidgeted slightly. I knew I would forget something! "According to my records, that particular place was evacuated due to landslips and has been abandoned ever since," He stared at me critically. "So, can you explain any of this?"

My mind was in full meltdown at this point. I should have just left it, but then would that have been even worse? I would have tried to prove my details but without a passport I was screwed. But I was screwed since the beginning, wasn't I? I tried to scrunch up into a ball, waiting for condemnation.

"I don't know, sir," I managed to whimper. Udina let an aggravated sigh escape.

"I do not appreciate being lied to, girl," Udina warned.

"P-Please sir, I don't know anything!" I felt the tears swell up. "I've just lost my entire world! My parents were killed, I-I," I swallowed a large lump. It felt more like a grapefruit. "All I have are the clothes on my back. I-I don't...I don't even know what to do with myself!" I just broke down then. All the stress, all the worry. My dam's crack had unleashed the torrent. I just cried on that seat for what seemed like hours. Udina studied me almost coldly during all of this. He wasn't fazed, wasn't sympathetic.

I eventually calmed. With my eyes red, my cheeks stained with tears and my hope a mere flicker in a sea of darkness, I waited for Udina's condemnation. I tried to settle my shaking frame, but everything was too much. My entire life had been flipped on top of my head, and then wrung out for good measure. Udina glanced at my profile once more, looking thoughtful. I still I waited in utter, dreadful silence.

Udina sighed.

"If you truly have no where to go, nothing to do with yourself," my head flopped forwards onto my chest. "Then do what thousands of young people do and join the military," My head shot up.

"Me? Military? But I'm a scientist! I'm a geologist, not a murderer!" Udina's gaze hardened.

"Then use your university degree,"

"I-I-I was in an apprenticeship with a family friend! M-My training wasn't done in a university! I don't have a legal degree!"

"Then go to a university and sit the examinations!" Udina rose to his feet in frustration. Fear strangled me as his large frame towered over me.

"And where do I get the money to do that?" I asked quietly. My sudden shift threw him. He cleared his throat. Recomposed himself.

"I'm sure your parents had credits in their account. I'm sure you could get access to them,"

Maybe my accounts were still active.

"I'll have you on a ship back to Earth," he dismissed, waving his hand. He wanted me out of his sight, already frustrated by me. I took a slow breath.

"W-Where do I go?"

"Take a cab to Docking Bay F12. I'll inform the docking staff to put you on the next ship to Earth. Tell the cab to forward the fare to the Human Embassy," I slowly rose to my feet.

"T-Thank you, Sir Ambassador," Udina nodded, watched me as I left the room. I breathed heavily. I totally lost it in there. I had to be more careful. Who knows what I could have said?

I slowly made my way down to the front of the embassies, retracing my footsteps. The cabs were just outside, it was easy to see. I stood in front of the terminal, looking at the options. I eventually had to call over someone to help me out, and how to forward the fare. The turian had given my one of the strangest looks I had ever had to deal with. Like he hated me. But with other people around, he reluctantly showed me how to work the cab system. Even how to forward the charges. I thanked him profusely. I seemed to have rubbed his ego because he left in a slightly better mood than when I first opened my mouth. I stepped into the car as it opened like a flower. It closed automatically, lifted itself into the air and shot off to join the rest of the traffic.

Myself? I was clinging to the seat in terror. This rectangular bullet took me completely by surprise. It was faster than I was used to, and it ducked and weaved like a drunk driver most of the time. So I silently screamed to myself for the entire trip, before it mercifully ended. The fare machine gave a perky 'Hope you have a nice day' as the doors opened. I couldn't get out fast enough. I fell flat on my face as I scrambled to get free. The cab shut itself and took off once I was free. I was glad to see the back of it.

The docking area gave an excellent view of the city, the towering skyscrapers and all the lights that came with such a big place. There were also plenty of chairs and benches to wait until someone called or came to find me. There were a few people around, and several new aliens I had no idea where to even begin with them. There were blue skinned aliens that looked like humans apart from they had tentacle-like hair wrapped over their head. Another green skinned on with 4 pairs of eyes. Then there was a short, stumpy one that appeared to be wearing a suit. I shook my head lightly. So much I didn't know...

"Miss Shaik?" a voice sounded. I looked over my shoulder. A human approached, tanned skin and dark hair. He was decked in blue and black armour and had a dark grey rifle in his hands. I rubbed my arm nervously.

"Yes?"

"I'm a C-Sec officer. I was told to make sure you got on your shuttle safely," I gave him a small smile.

"T-Thank you, officer. I appreciate it," I felt a bit happier with a police officer around, a bit safer.

"If you come over this way, miss, we can see which shuttle is for you," I perked.

"Oh, of course, thank you," I started trotting after him, looking around the room as I walked out. My gaze locked with that of another turian. A coppery skinned turian with teal markings over his brow, under his eyes, along his mandibles and a small v on his nose. His attentive green eyes seemed bored for a moment. It seemed awkward to stare then leave. I gave him a smile then a wave. He gave me a queer as I turned away to concentrate on where I was going.


	4. Chapter 4

I followed the C-sec officer through a few doors, leading me down a few corridors. I travelled quietly, beginning to wonder where we were in context to the docking bay. I was still struggling to come to terms with everything that had happened. I was to return to Earth, re-take my exams which I had no hope of passing without some serious reading with money I doubted I still had and was simply expected to get on with it? I shook my head slightly. He stopped at a door, typing some codes into it. I stared at my reflection in some nearby glass.

I looked a state. My hair was beginning to look about as tame as a wild bramble bush, the dark copper waves clumping together and knotting in the worst places. Dark rings were beginning to show under my eyes as the strain drained me of every ounce of energy. My lilac eyes looked dull. Technically, they were blue, but raised blood vessels in my iris' gave them that purple colour. My skin looked pale, the rosy look gone and the light speckling of freckles looked faded. I looked like I had been hit by a truck. I may as well have been for all the good that had happened to me over the past couple of days.

The door opened, we strode though. Then the door behind me shut and the green hologram turned red. I stared at it for a moment, slowly twirling to face the room. The room was filled with humans, turians and the 4-eyed, green skin species, all wearing blue armour with a white oval outline on them. The oval had a small circle inside the oval, right up at the top. Most wore helmets. The dread in my blood turned it cold.

"This her?" one asked.

"Yeah, she's the one who arrived with Shepard," My body began quaking.

"Alright, tie 'er up. We've got a job to do," he waved his gun in my direction. People started to move.

Sadly for me, my instincts had taken over long before now.

I grabbed a nearby chair and threw it against the window beside the door. It cracked, but refused to smash. Then I was grappled from behind. I screamed. The turians' winced, trying desperately to hold me down while I flailed my limbs uselessly. They eventually pinned me on the floor. I wriggled insanely. But I had 3 people on top of me. I tried to scream again, but someone grabbed my head and smashed it into the floor. Stars danced before my eyes. I still wriggled, but the tears were beginning to fall.

I was _not_ having a good week.

"Bloody human," a 4-eyed alien snorted. A grumble of agreement rumbled around the room. I felt rope wriggle around my wrists, now pinned to my back. I cried out, kicked out. Someone swore. I got a gun butt to the head as a reward. I sobbed quietly, head throbbing. Why didn't I stay in the goddam docking bay!? Why was I so trusting?

I was hauled to my feet by a human and a turian, I yanked and pulled, but all it did was annoy them. I was shoved against the door before they opened it to shut me up. I sobbed as I was dragged down these deserted halls. The gang were silent as they marched to their destination. I was led out into another ship dock, this one was abandoned aside from one or two more aliens in the upper balconies. I stared at the sole ship in the dock. They were planning to whisk me away. I kicked the human in the knee, desperate. He swore in anger before he slammed me into the ground.

I screamed when his head exploded.

Gunfire rang out in all directions, the gang around me yelled out as commands were shouted over the noise. Someone grabbed me, started dragging me towards the ship, trying to shoot at whatever had interrupted them. I slammed my boot as high up the body as I could with all my strength. A curse, but I was still clutched. But then his shoulder went flying back from a bullet and I was released. I rolled. I rolled like a goddam chocolate log away from them. The only thing that stopped me was when I got a face full of exploded brain. I had never been so violently sick. The blood was bad enough, but combined with this...I lay there, retching for my life. I had to move before everything got even worse. I gave up on rolling, blinded by horror. I stumbled over bodies, slipped on blood, and fell as bullets flew overhead.

Then someone grabbed me.

I screamed, flailed as wildly as I could. The hands became arms, I heard grunting as they tried to restrain me. A bullet flew past my head, I felt the hairs on my nose burn. I was shoved to the ground, something heavy nearly crushing me to the floor. I wriggled madly.

"Oi, oi, oi! Spirits, human, calm down!" the heavy flanging told me it was turian. They seemed to have that in their voices. I flung my eyes open. I locked gaze with an emerald green eyed turian. It took a moment before it clicked. The teal markings and coppery skin stated it was the turian from the docking bay. His skin was covered in golden hexagons, shimmering mysteriously. Some orange holographs hovered over his forehead, more hovered by his shoulders, I could just make some out of the corner of my eye. Was it armour? I could only stare like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Calm down," he repeated, slowly. Like when someone wanted to calm a wild animal. He glanced up at the fire fight still going on. "Kritil! Cover the right flank!" he snapped as he managed to yank my hands free of the rope. I managed a terrified whimper as I pulled my hands to my chest. The turian glanced swiftly down again for a heartbeat. He pulled a large pistol from his hip. His other arm curled around my head. "Don't worry, human, we'll get you out of this in one piece, just lie still for a bit,"

I stared at the underside of his jaw as he focused on the enemy. Bullets slammed into him, but they seemed to bounce off, a small orange pulse radiating from the impact site. He yelled out a few more orders, one about cover fire, but he did not move. His voice was more heavily flanged than Garrus' was, when he turned his head, I noticed teal markings again on the crest, wriggling their way along the ridges. On the left side, beside the longest crest...spike, the tip was strangely bent up, making him look a little odd.

I heard a bullet smash into his arm, right at my head.

I screamed slightly, grabbing the carapace armour. My face buried into the deep bowl of his armour. He jumped slightly. To keep me covered, he had to drop his chin into his arm, pressing me back against the floor.

It took him several tries to convince me to bring my arms back against my chest.

We only lay there for a few dozen seconds before he called out to cover him. I managed to see the light dim, the clinking of armour told me people had moved between us and the bullets. The copper turian dragged me up, securing his arm around my waist. I clung to the collar of his armour, seeing a wall of turians between us and the gang. Copper, as I was calling him now, side-stepped ran backwards, keeping his body between me and the bullets. The turians began backing up as well. The hail of bullets still continued. Where the men had come from was beyond me. There weren't more than a dozen of them in the room. Had there been more in the ship?

I was out the door, back in the corridors. Copper spun, sprinted down the hall with me neatly tucked under his arm. I gripped his arm tightly, shutting my eyes in terror. I assumed the worse. More footsteps behind me told me the others were following. Eventually, the sound of bullets quietened, and it was simply the sound of heavy breathing, footfalls and armour.

They slowed to the stop.

I opened my eyes slowly as Copper carefully placed me back on my feet. My legs quivered, caved. Copper grabbed me again before my knees hit the ground. He slowly lowered me the rest of the way, kneeling down. The turians surrounded us, facing outwards, guns ready. I stared at Copper, terrified. He carefully picked something out of my hair, tossed it away. I heard something splat. I immediately wanted to be sick. If I hadn't been so violently sick earlier, I probably would have.

"I'm Valérien Autillin, Turian Military Cabal Division," he started carefully. I had no idea what a Cabal was, but I didn't quite care right now. "What's your name?" His tone was soft and slow. He was trying to calm me down.

"E-En-d-dell- En-dellion," I managed. My whole body was swaying, my head was pounding, my stomach twisting.

"Endellion, alright. What did they want?" I stared at him, nearly dumbfound. My brain was struggling to process the question. "Endellion, what did the Blue Suns want with you?" His speech was deliberately slow. Normally, I would have been insulted. Now I was just glad I could understand him.

"T-They wan-wanted to use me agai-against Shepard...s-somehow," I answered, trying to get myself in order. It wasn't going well.

"Who is Shepard?" he pushed lightly.

"C-Commander S-Shepard. A-Alliance N-Navy," I wheezed. Talking was so difficult.

"You're doing great, Endellion-"

"D-Dell," I coughed heavily. Copper, I mean Valérien, glanced up the other turians around him.

"She needs a doctor," one muttered. "Who know what they did to her. Looks like her eyes are trying to roll back in her head,"

My eyes...oh. Oh that wasn't a good sign. The room was swimming by this point.

"She's going to collapse," A saw a blurred shape of a turian kneel down beside Cop-...Valérien. "Hey, hey! Stay with us!"

I managed a strange sound as the room began spinning.

* * *

I hoisted the human, Dell, into my arms as she made some of the oddest noises I've heard any living creature make. It was like she was trying to speak and groan at the same time, almost drunken. With the rest of my team surrounding me, we all but sprinted to the nearest hospital. Huerta Memorial Hospital was one of the Citadel's finest. It also happened to be the closest. She looked far too pale, even by human standards. Her eyes _were _trying to roll back in her head. I frowned slightly, ignoring the looks passing people gave me. A small turian unit running down the Wards with a human carried in one of their arms. Must've been a sight to see.

I didn't know what I was thinking. A human staring at me, not too unusual. They are a suspicious lot, didn't take too kindly to turians due to the war. So when one smiles and waves, to a complete stranger, and then disappears into disused corridors with a man known to have shady connections. Well, my instincts told me something was wrong. Her eyes were too naïve. I rallied my team. The Cabals and I had been waiting for a shuttle to take us to our next assignment. Looks like we would have to catch the next one now. Resetic slammed a fist on the hospital floor button once we reached the elevator. We didn't run into any more Blue Suns. We waited anxiously as Dell continued to deteriorate from nonsense noise to silence.

"I've got an emergency here!" I called as the elevator finally allowed me to escape. Nurses and doctors looked up sharply. Most were Salarian, the amphibian-like aliens with long, skinny bodies and limbs, a long face and large frog-like eyes. Males had two horn like structures on top of their heads, females lacked them. They were lucky if they lived beyond 40 years old, given their high metabolism. A few asari dotted the area, the blue skinned, humanoid-like species were highly intelligent. The cartilage on their heads looked like tenticles, thinning and collecting at the back of the head. Several started running my way.

"What's the situation?" a fast talking salarian asked.

"Serious head injuries, possible internal injuries" I grunted as I finally placed Endellion on a stretcher. They whisked her away, already examining the obvious knock to her head. Now that she was somewhere safe, I turned to my team, each staring back at me with the same look.

"What should we put in our report?" Aerul asked. I grunted.

"She was Alliance, possibly a scientist or mechanic. No combat training at all though, which is odd," I frowned. It _was_ odd. If she was Alliance, she would have received at least some basic training. Yet in that dock she screamed and coward like a civilian. I clicked my mandibles. "I'll speak to her when she's coherent. I know Heshek, he'll want every bloody detail," I sighed as I strode up to a dark blue skinned asari.

"Excuse me," the asari looked up. "Could you inform me when Miss Endellion is available for visitors, she was just taken in, was wearing an Alliance jacket,"

"Ah yes, of course, sir," the asari smiled. "If you take a seat, I will keep an eye on the situation," I nodded, said my thanks. I sat down near the large windows, staring over the pristine Presidium. The team joined me. They had followed me this far, may as well go the little bit extra. We spoke sparingly, recollecting any detail we may have missed. Aerul began the report.

After about two or so hours, the asari informed me Dell was ready to see visitors. I thanked the nurse, remembered the room number and walked down passed the reception. The Cabals were on my heels.I entered through some doors on the far side of the room, I proceeded to walk down a small tunnel. Scanners flicked up and down to make sure I didn't have anything contagious. I saw labs on either side of the glass walls asari, human and salarian looking over test data and arguing over medications. I then entered the main part of the hospital. Plants decorated the middle of the hall, dozens of doors running the length and corners of the place. Glass panes allowed a look into the rooms, shutters were down for those that needed privacy. I carefully moved though the people standing or walking down the halls. I stuck to the left, looking at numbers as they appeared. Thankfully, it wasn't long until I found the room. I gave a gentle knock, entering with only a slight hesitation. The Cabals stood guard outside, in case more Blue Suns decided to get cocky.

Dell looked up, blood still mingled in the air but her head was bandaged. She was lying on the bed, coat slung on the back of a chair. Wires ran from under her pale blue t-shirt, tubes feeding colourless liquid into her system strapped to her arm. Her strange lilac eyes seemed confused upon seeing my face. Spirits, this girl wouldn't survive a day in some parts of the Citadel. Her wild red crest, hair I believe the humans call it, was now in tame waves down her back. She smiled weakly,covers tucking her firmly to the bed. She still looked far too pale.

"Hey," she said. She sounded tired, or was that nerves he was picking up? I carefully walked over to her head, taking a seat beside her.

"How are you feeling?" I asked. She gave a nervous laugh.

"I'm so high on medication the room looks like its a dream sequence," I laughed softly. I couldn't help it. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. I grinned, watching as she flushed and fiddled with her fingers.

"I have a few questions, if you are up to them. Need to inform my superiors why my team and I are late," a flash of horror crossed those lilac eyes. Her face was an open book.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, clutching the quilt. I placed a hand over her arm gently.

"Hey, it's alright. I'd miss 10 more shuttles if I saved lives instead," She gave an unsure upwards flick of her mouth.

"I-I try to answer your questions," I released a slow breath.

"I need you to tell me why you followed that man in the dock. You are Alliance, I assumed you had been given basic training," her face stilled, trying to process the question.

"A-Alliance? B-but I'm not..." her eyes fell on the jacket. They widened to dishes. "N-No! I-I'm not military. I-I'm just a-a g-geologist th-they found out o-on-"

"Hey, hey, shh. It's ok," She was swallowing hard, trying to explain but was flustering heavily. "Start from the beginning. The very beginning," She stared at me for a time before slowly settling down.

She told me how her ship she had been travelling on had been attacked, how her escape pod landed on Xawin. She explained how she was found, that she stayed on an Alliance vessel for several days, had been given the jacket since she had lost everything. I felt my hackles rise when she told me about her meeting with her ambassador, how he told her to go to the dock to get a shuttle back to Earth. Then she gave a sad smile and said that the man who led her away told her he was a member of C-Sec. I took all this information in, drew the lines between the dots.

"So, your ambassador let you go to the dock without an escort, despite knowing this was your first time to the Citadel?" She nodded slowly. "And the Alliance team didn't take you either?"

"They had been forced to leave. I-I can't blame them," she shrugged carefully. She had calmed down a fair bit since she began her story. She just needed something to distract her.

"My condolences...for your loss," She nodded slowly, staring at her hands. "So, what's the plan now?" she glanced up at me, her eyes wobbling a bit. I was worried they would begin rolling again, but they didn't.

"I don't know...sue the ambassador for the lack of protection?" I grinned.

"Na, doesn't work that way," I informed. She managed a nervous pout. Another laugh escaped me. She was trying to perk herself up. Spirits she was trying. "Still planning on returning to Earth?" she gave me a sad look. I stared for a moment, mandibles flared slightly.

"I don't have any choice. I-I don't have anything else left to do, nowhere to go," she sighed, tousled that mane of hers slightly. "Don't ask me what I'll do when I get there. No family, no friends, no money, no home," she shook her head. "My parents sold everything, used every penny for that trip. I don't even have a degree to help. I-I guess all I can do is...start in the dirt and try to survive?" I frowned, mandibles clicking with agitation. She had given a lot of thought to this, and that was her answer?

"You wouldn't last a week,"

"I know," That stopped my mandibles. "But I-I need to try. I-If I just roll over, then I won't know if I could do something. I-If I could get a guitar then I could busk for money, maybe a keyboard. I-I was always good with music. M-Maybe singing too...i-if I managed to get a lesson to re-teach me," In that moment, I admired her determination. Cowardly, yes, but determined.

"Hey, if you ever nee-"

"_Val, we've got company,"_Kritil's voice broke into my ear. I frowned, glancing at the door.

"I'll be back in a minute, important call," I smiled. She blinked, confused. I gave her a comforting pat on the back of her hand before approaching the door.

The door opened. I stared at the scene before me. Three people were giving steady stares to the seven other turians guarding the door; a turian, a human and a quarian. The human shifted his gaze to me, hard, cool. I frowned severely, tempted to put a hand on my pistol, just in case. The rest of the team had already done so. The doctors stared, looking nervous. I started to walk through the door.

"Shepard?" My eyes flew to Dell. She was leaning forward, out of curiosity. Her eyes were on the human. Now my gaze locked with the male human. I did unhook my pistol. It as only a second, but everyone had a gun in their hands.

Eight against three. Why did Shepard look so confident?


	5. Chapter 5

"Stop! Everyone stop! Weapons down!" I cried. Valérien positioned himself between myself and Shepard, Garrus and Tali. The small army of turians trained their weapons at them, surrounding them. They was trying to protect me, I could see, but I had to stop them from killing each other!

"So this is Shepard?" his eyes locked on the human. Shepard's eyes narrowed.

"Kid, lower the gun," Garrus warned. He wasn't even troubled by the other turians around him. Val spared him a look, but his gaze was bolted on Shepard. If anything, the gun seemed to grasped even tighter.

"This is the guy the mercs wanted to use you against?" That caught them by surprise. I could almost see the anger rolling over Valérien's shoulders. I took a deep breath. If I was calm, everyone else would calm down as well, right?

"Valérien, it's ok. They didn't know. They didn't have a choice but to leave me at the embassy. Udina is too much of a dick to be around for more than 10 minutes," I saw a smile flicker on Shepard's face. Valérien scowled.

"There is always a choice," he growled. Tali stared over her shotgun at the surrounding turians, she turned to regard Val.

"Just who are you?" Tali asked.

"The turians who saved her ass," Val rumbled, I could _feel_ the growl in his chest. I gave a frantic glimpse around the room. There had be something I could do to stop them. My gaze locked with the tubes. They were feeding me the painkillers, but they didn't know that...My eyes flew between the groups and the tubes.

"P-Put up the weapons, or I swear to God, I will pull these tubes out!" I cried out.

I was bluffing out my ass. I was too cowardly to actually do it. It would prime the alarms in the hospital and everyone was borderline trigger happy already. Val finally turned to face me. I gripped the tubes for good measure, anxiety strong in my eyes. We regarded each other for a time, before he slowly lowered the SMG. I heaved a breath as Garrus and Tali put their weapons up, gradually. With great reluctance, the turians also dropped their weapons, following Val. Shepard kept his pistol at his hip, but it wasn't oriented at any one. Valérien and Shepard stared each other down before both holstered their weapons. Every other gun was sheathed soon after. I heaved a sigh of relief.

"Alright, friends?" I asked. Shepard and the crew remained still. Val snorted.

"Not even close," he muttered under his breath. Garrus bristled, but aside from myself and Garrus, no one else seemed to hear. I sighed. They weren't putting holes in each other, I should be content with that for now.

Valérien glanced back to me, reading me for a moment. He crossed the threshold, securing the door behind him. My heart sank. I tested my ability to move, but the wires tugged. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to perceive any sign of violence. The minutes passed, I could hear the faint muffling of speech, but the actual words were lost to me. Then it was all quiet for a time. I held my breath.

The door slid open, allowing Valérien to strut back in. He carried a smug look on his face. I debated with myself if that made me relieved or worried. Valérien stopped by my head, leaning his elbows on the bed. I kept my gaze on his emerald eyes, but his rough skin and the metallic shimmer were mesmerising, especially with the golden hue from the sunset. Val dropped his voice.

"I convinced Shepard to take you on as a crew member," I stared, eyes solely focused on his eyes. I opened my mouth. "I played his guilt," he grinned. "You'll be going on as a scientist, so don't worry, they won't throw you out in the front lines...hopefully," he gave a dark frown to the door. I managed to find my voice now that he wasn't looking.

"Thank you..." my throat was dry, still trying to let the news sink in. I wasn't going back to Earth. I was staying on the Normandy. Somewhere at least vaguely familiar...Val's stare returned, but it was softer.

"I couldn't let you go back to Earth in good conscious. You'd do nothing but kill yourself out there," he sighed. He seemed bothered about something. "I need you to promise me something," I blinked, startled.

"I'll be careful," Val managed a short laugh.

"No, no. Not that," I felt my brow scrunch up in confusion. "You're on a military vessel, it's understandable that you will be going to many planets for missions. But I need you to promise me this. I need you to stay off a place called Noveria. The intel I have is...not friendly. Promise me, even if Shepard goes onto Noveria himself, you will stay on the ship," I stared for a few heartbeats. His eyes seemed strained at the thought of this place...

"I promise," I saw his shoulders drop slightly.

"Thank you, I know-" he glared at the door as a knock rang out. His mandibles clicked when it opened. He slowly straightened as Shepard, Garrus and Tali entered. I blinked, my concern rising. Valérien brought out his orange omni-tool, frowning at it. He sighed, almost in defeat.

"I need to return to my squad, we have a shuttle to catch," I stared at him sadly.

"Oh...y-yeah, I understand, Valérien. Thank you, for everything," He smiled. "Will you keep in touch?" He blinked for a moment. His mandibles clicked once, his expression looked nearly determined.

"Sure. If you have an omni-tool, I can forward my contact details," I managed a small smile. I had a feeling I still needed something.

"I...don't own one, I'm afraid,"

"We'll have her kitted out," Shepard promised. The gauntlet flared up on his arm. "I'll pass your details over when she gets one, if you like," Val didn't exactly trust Shepard, judging from the look, but he returned his attention to that gauntlet, an omni-tool I guessed. Shepard nodded. "Don't worry, I'll delete it when Dell gets it," Val nodded stiffly. He gave my shoulder a sturdy pat, a friendly grin.

"Get out of here soon," I nodded eagerly, I was desperate to get out of here myself. Val glanced at the Normandy party once more. "Keep her safe, she's hopeless on her own," I made an over-exaggerated huffing sound which got a snort of laughter out of him. "Spectre," he nodded his head.

"Valérien," Shepard returned the nod. And then he was gone, out the door and whisked away. The door held my gaze as I heard a dozen footfalls disappear. At least I had another friend. I glanced at Tali as she approached, gently taking my hand.

"We came as soon as Udina got the message you were in here. Are you alright?" I nodded slowly. I slowly drew my knees up, hugging them gently. I gave a brave smile, but I knew the only thing keeping me like this was the painkillers.

"So...Val said you're taking me on the Normandy?" I asked. Shepard nodded

"You said you were a geologist right?" I nodded. "Then you'll find resources for the Alliance then," Shepard answered

"U-Uh, sure, I can do that..."

"And we'll teach you how to fire a gun," I flushed at Tali's comment. "Just in case," she added.

"And we'll need to get you the uniform..." Garrus pondered.

We talked for a several minutes. Catching up on what they were doing, where they went to try and find me. Tali told me she found a really nice clothes shop, and Shepard agreed to give me the money, called Credits, to buy anything I needed. I was just happy that I would own a change of clothes! Then we got to the more nitty gritty. I was to receive a uniform, some formal gun training, since I was now being drafted into the Alliance military. As a scientist, of course. But even scientists still needed to learn how to hold and utilise a gun.

Now all I had to do was wait for the all clear...

* * *

_The hazy dream summoned itself again. Oranges and red, dark mucky greens. I was beginning to make out clouds. It was the same dream. It felt like miles away, but with haze was beginning to fade slightly. I was feeling nauseous, I could feel myself turning, but the blend of colours totally threw me off kilter. Sometimes the haze would lift a little more and I could see faint flashes of light fly past my face, but beyond that, nothing. I lay there, helpless. _

_Why did I feel helpless? _

_It was a dream right? I can do what I liked in a dream! I tried to move forward, but I felt myself move to the side. I tried to grab control. I began panicking when nothing happened. I was a prisoner, I wanted to scream. _

My eyes flew open, my head rocketing off the pillow, my heart in my throat. I lay there, gaping for breath, eyes darting around like a wounded animal. I was in the hospital room, covered in sweat. I panted as I checked the time, wondering why that dream kept coming back, why it was getting harder and harder to do anything with it. A few days ago I could move anywhere I wanted and I would flow. Now it barely did what I wanted it to. I released a slow breath. It was just a dream. Now go back to sleep, I told myself.

I wish it were that easy.

* * *

It was another couple of days before I was cleared to go. Tali and I had done some shopping via her omni-tool, the orange gauntlet people used. I had bought new clothes, an omni-tool, a translator... Shepard insisted on a pistol, so Garrus helped with finding a good one. The Predator II was a nice, easy pistol, apparently. Everything had been bought and shipped to the Normandy, my uniforms would be waiting as well, no doubt.

Tali poked her head into the room, indicating it was time to leave. I was still a touch dizzy, but I could walk in a straight line at the very least. We left the hospital, carefully walking to the cabs. Once we were in a cab, we flew off to the C-Sec academy. Tali drove. It wasn't as terrifying as a computer driving, but it was still as chair clutching as the first time. I had to close my eyes when Tali started weaving past traffic to make a turn. We eventually made it to the academy, and thankfully the cab bay was right next to the elevator to the Normandy. My knees had been knocking violently during the journey, and they nerves were starting to set in. The long elevator ride began. To think just over 24 hours ago I was coming down this thing with no idea what was going to happen to me. I wondered what Valérien was doing, but I was distracted by the Normandy.

The ship was like a narrow tear drop with the top point squared off. 4 engines powered her, the two inner ones had arms that ran up the majority of the length of the vessel, with the outer ones reaching as forward as the tail. These engines could move inwards or outwards, depending on the speed. The metallic ship had a horizontal triangle for a tail, mounted on a short vertical. Two long strips of metal, straight before angling down at the bottom, stuck out the front of the ship. Normandy had her name painted on the black part of her body, staring halfway down then sweeping up her sides. A strip of red followed this movement.

This was my new home.

I preceded with Tali inside, pausing in the airlock as decontamination occurred, the strange mist surrounding us as a laser passed over us. Once cleaned and passed, we entered the bridge. Joker looked round, he gave a friendly grin.

"Morning, ladies," I nearly flushed. Tali laughed.

"Morning, Joker. The Normandy ready to take off?"

"She's always ready to take off," he grinned. "Just waiting for you two,"

"Thanks for waiting, Joker," Tali joked with a sarcastic tone. Joker just gave a shrug.

"Well, you know. The commander would have complained if we left you behind," Tali laughed, moving away from the cockpit and down to the CIC, the Combat Information Centre. I stuck close to her for now. When we passed the Normandy hologram, Shepard looked up from the Galaxy map, looking over from that raised platform.

"Morning," he greeted. "All ready, Dell?" I jumped slightly.

"A-Ah, yes. Yes sir," I added hastily. Shepard chuckled.

"Relax, you'll do fine," he assured. I gave a small smile, a nod. "Tali, can you show her where she's going to sleep and work?"

"Of course, Commander," Tali nodded.

She gently led me down through the doors on the edges of the room, behind Shepard. Tali took me to the sleeping quarters. I stared at the bunk beds. They were in pods of 4, each had a drawer on the bottom bunk and a locker at the foot. Between the bunks was a wall block with four doors, two large ones on the very top and bottom, and two thinner ones between. These beds lined 3 walls of the room. At the bottom of the room were a couple of tables, a computer on both of them. Chairs lined a circle around them. Tali tugged me to one pod, the third on the right wall.

"This is your pod. You can choose whatever bunk you want, since no one has moved in here yet. Garrus, Wrex and I are in the next one," she pointed to the 4th pod on the wall. "So you won't be alone. If you're on the bottom, you get the drawer and the locker, if you are on top, you get two of the cupboards. If you do choose a top, you can have the two lower ones," she smiled. "Since you are a little..." I sulked slightly.

"I'm not that short," I grumbled. Tali laughed. Tali strode over to her pod, returning with a few large boxes.

"This should be everything. We kept it in our pod since we still didn't know where to put you at the time,"

"Thanks, Tali. I appreciate it,"

"Now don't forget to go speak to everyone," Tali added as she brushed herself down. I managed to hide my tremble. I didn't to so well with lots of new people, so this was going to be an...unpleasant experience.

Tali helped me unpack the boxes. One was just filled with clothes. Mostly uniforms, but there was plenty of casual clothes too. Mostly t-shirts and jeans, although I did buy a cocktail dress just in case. The violet dress was very plain, the one shoulder dress would be nice if I ever got the chance to wear it. They went into the largest lower cupboard, since I decided I liked to be on the top bunk. The next box had a small bracelet. My omni-tool, Tali told me. That snapped onto my left wrist. My translator went into my right ear, so I could remove the temporary one. My ear still ached. It had been a little too big. A datapad also appeared from the box, I had to play around with it later.

There were also some things for my work. Reference books, some new pieces of tech I couldn't recognise, as well as a small book that had names and instructions of the other Alliance geologists. The instructions told me how to access their vast databases. That was staying in the lab. My pistol was also waiting for me down on the weapons bench. Tali helped me carry some of the stuff to the lab, found behind the medical bay. Dr. Chakwas looked up when we entered.

"Good morning, ladies. How are we today?"

"Very well, thank you," Tali answered.

"I'll be happy when the headache finally passes," I laughed slightly.

"I have some painkillers, if you need it," Dr. Chakwas offered.

"Thank you doctor, but I'll pass unless it gets worse," I hated taking medicine. For anything. She chuckled, not at all taken my my assurance.

"I'll see what I can scavenge for you," I hid my scowl. There was no sneaking past this doctor, that's for sure. Tali and I entered the door at the back of the med bay.

It lacked a window, which meant this wasn't going to be my favourite room.


	6. Chapter 6

I had everything sorted in the lab. Crates hogged the right corner, but I had a desk that ran from them to the wall by the door. I had put my reference books in a neat row and had the computer set up and ready for use. I even had a huge white board against the wall opposite the door for maps. I had to watch the lab arm though, the mechanical contraption took up the other back corner. The desk behind me seemed to have been set up for chemical experimentation. I didn't touch it. I remembered my experience from chemistry classes. Everything was quite nice. I need to decorate the walls with rocks and volcanoes but aside from that, it more than suited.

I checked the email account I had been giving, linking me to the other Alliance geologists. Most of them were just welcomes and information for logging into their information systems. Another said to begin work in a couple of days, once we had reached our first planet. That left me with enough time to...acclimatise I suppose. I had spoken to Dr. Chakwas, so I assumed I had better meet the rest of the crew. So I left the safety of the lab and I was out in the mess hall.

I didn't feel so out of place with the uniform on. Everyone was polite and said hello, to which I returned the favour. I did speak to a few for a good few minutes. My nerves were a wreck by the end of it, though. I managed to keep it together enough to take the lift down the cargo hold. I slowly gathered myself during the trip down. I always wondered why this lift was so slow, but for now I was just glad it was taking its sweet time. Once down, I relieved to see it was only ground crew.

Garrus was by a console, muttering beside a large 6-wheeled tank. Ashley was in the far left corner, by the weapons bench. Wrex was leaning against some crates opposite Garrus. I knew Tali would be down the corridors behind me, leading down towards Engineering and that oversized drive core. Only Wrex looked over when the elevator opened. His deep laugh rang out.

"Uniform doesn't suit you, pyjk," I flushed violently, Garrus and Ashley looked over curiously. Ash remained passive while Garrus seemed to grin.

"Don't listen to him. Krogan have no fashion sense," Wrex barked a laugh.

"Coming from a turian? You all look like you've got trees up your ass and took a shotgun to the face," Garrus seemed to scowl, but it didn't seem like a genuine one. I carefully walked over to Garrus, keeping an eye on Wrex.

"And krograns look any better?" Garrus asked, seemingly shocked. That got a laugh out of Wrex.

"Bloody turian. Go back to your bloody machine, I'm sure Shepard has a few more mountains to jump off later," Garrus laughed through his nose.

"Indeed he probably will," He turned to face me, leaning on the console behind him. "So then, how does it feel to be in the military? The wonderful food, the comfy beds and all the space you could need,"

"The food tastes like cardboard, the beds are as soft as a brick and the ship makes me feel like a sardine," I made a face. Garrus laughed.

"I have no idea what a 'sardine' is, but it doesn't sound pleasant. Well, they never said it was glamorous," he agreed. "But how are you feeling? I heard your head got a nasty knock,"

"As long as you don't throw me on the front lines? And maybe give me some firearm training?" I hinted. Garrus laughed.

"Tell you what. Don't do anything stupid, like carry a loaded gun around the ship, and once you learn how to work a pistol, I may teach how to shoot a sniper rifle," I blinked. I had guessed there would be specialists on board a military vessel. Garrus never struck me as a sniper though. He was a touch hot – and hard – headed. I always imagined a shotgun or assault rifle in his hands.

"So you are a sniper then," Garrus' eyes twinkled.

"Nothing more satisfying than popping the heat sink after a head shot," he nearly purred. "The skill required to hit a target at 1000m is something to proud of," I smiled warmly.

"I'm willing to learn if you're willing to teach," Garrus winked.

"We'll see how you handle a pistol first," he chuckled.

"I thought I heard your voice," Garrus looked over my head towards engineering. I turned, seeing Tali walk up the slight slope from Engineering to the cargo hold. I relaxed even more. "The uniform looks good on you," I blushed slightly.

"T-Thank you," I glanced at my feet, shuffling them. Now I had no idea if I suited the uniform or not! Tali laughed slightly.

"So modest," Tali smiled, Garrus chuckled slightly. I cleared my throat.

"Where are we heading then?" I asked. I wanted to move away from that. Modesty always made me...well, modest. That sounded stupid even to me. Best keep that comment to myself.

"We are heading to Therum to find a Dr T'Soni. Saren is after her, and we need to find her before he does,"

"Do you know much about Saren?" They had mentioned him before.

"Saren's is an ex-Spectre. He attacked a human colony, Eden Prime, stole some Prothean knowledge from a beacon and we think he is constructing some sort of weapon, the Conduit," Some images tried to flash before me, like when I spoke to Tali before, but it was all hazy.

"Beacons contain knowledge from the Protheans. They have given us information and allowed out technology to advance centuries,"

"I see, so you're all chasing him down before he can do some serious damage to the galaxy,"

"Exactly. He's a stain on turians everywhere. We need to take him out," Garrus grumbled slightly. Wrex snorted.

"Of course, we're all worried about the turians looking bad, aren't we?" he asked sarcastically. Garrus gave him a level look, his mandibles clicking against his face. He seemed slightly annoyed but not annoyed to do anything about it. I noticed a slightly tense atmosphere. Part of me suggested that they hadn't been together long enough to form those unbreakable bonds of comrade famous in all lines of the military.

The other part of me also suggested that there were political strings tugging in the background.

"So how's the lab them?" I blinked, snapped out of my daze.

"Oh um. It's good, bit annoyed about the lack of a window, and the proximity of the med bay," Wrex grinned.

"Good place for a lab. Blow yourself up, just jump next door to get patched up," he laughed. Garrus chuckled slightly.

"Indeed, although I would be surprised there are many explosives required with...what was you did? Geographer?" I felt the hairs on my neck bristle. I took a mental deep breath.

"Geologist," I corrected. "I study crystals, rocks, fossils, ancient climates and track sea level over the ages to find the metals and minerals we need," I gave him a more detailed explanation rather than 'I study rocks'. "Geographers tend to study surface features like glaciers and rivers, but are more commonly used to track population, land use and other human, or otherwise, processes," I saw Garrus' grin and felt uncomfortable.

"You did not like being called a geographer, did you?" I flushed. His laughter told me I was found out. Tali scowled.

"Vakarian," she put her hands on her hips. The turian muffled his laughter. I remained quiet. "Ignore him," Tali counselled. "He's always a bit of an ass,"

"I hear that!" Wrex laughed.

"Oh you do warm my heart, Wrex," Garrus called over sarcastically. I smiled slightly, maybe they were becoming friends. I glanced over to Ashley, who had remained quiet throughout the conversation.

"I better let you get back to work, sounds like Shepard destroys this tank," Garrus groaned.

"The Mako is nigh on indestructible...until you put Shepard behind the wheel. Then it falls apart," he rubbed the plates on his forehead. "Fixing this has become more fun that sitting in it with Shepard driving it," Tali and I laughed. Garrus grabbed some tools before carefully sliding himself under the Mako's massive wheels, Tali waved as she returned to Engineering. Wrex shuffled against the crates, remaining silent. I walked up towards the cargo doors of the Normandy, towards Ashley. I took a deep breath, calmed my rattled nerves.

"H-Hi there," I greeted. Ashley turned to face me. "I-I'm Endellion, I didn't get a chance to speak to you before..."

"Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams," we shook hands briefly. "Making friends with the aliens I see," I blinked.

"You don't...like them?" Ashley sighed.

"It's not that. I just think that they shouldn't get such a free pass on a human vessel. My grandfather fought in the First Contact War, against the turians," I remembered that bit from what I picked up. "He...he was the one who surrendered Shanxi, the first human to surrender to an alien," I blinked. I assumed Shanxi was the planet where the war took place.

"What about the civilians? I'm fairly sure at least some of them surrendered to save their families," Ashley laughed harshly.

"The first military personnel who surrendered," she corrected. I felt my nerves tear slightly. I wasn't sure how to take this conversation.

"T-They are quite friendly...Wrex too, I'm sure," I glanced at him, wondering if he heard. Garrus' laugh told me he did. "So you just distrust aliens then?" Ashley nodded. "The war was a long time ago-"

"And yet my family still suffers for it. My family have been part of the Alliance for generations, and yet my father never got promoted beyond Serviceman Third Class, despite his utter dedication to the alliance. My father worked hard to try and keep a normal family life with 4 daughters, but it was up to me to help raise them while he was deployed," I felt the frustration and anger. I took a very nervous breath.

"I-I'm sure the Alliance don't take family history into account,"

"Then it shows what you know about the military,"she grumbled. I rubbed the back of my neck nervously.

"I-I see this is a sensitive topic," Ashley just stared at me with quick-tempered eyes. "W-Well I'll speak to you later. I-I still have the rest of the crew to meet.

"Sure, kid. Just don't be so trusting of the aliens," I smiled before turning down to, nervously, talk to Wrex. I didn't agree with Ash's point on the aliens...but I could be proven wrong with Wrex...

"Shaik," he greeted as I approached.

"H-Hi Wrex. How are you doing?" I asked, hoping my nerves could take the strain. He sighed.

"I'll be happier when I can finally shoot my gun at something, We've been wasting time with you," I flushed.

"I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to cause any problems," Wrex coughed out a laugh.

"Pyjak, relax," I had no idea what a Pyjak was, but it didn't sound nice. "Turian said you didn't know anything about aliens, eh?"

"Um, yes, that's right," I wondered where he was taking this. He grinned.

"Here's some advice then. If a krogan ever gives you trouble, headbutt 'em," I stared, I glanced up at his crest.

"I-I think one concussion is enough for now," Wrex's laughter was terrifying, but I relieved I said something that didn't insult him.

"You'll be fine, Pyjak," he gently tapped my head, I shied away slightly. "It only hurts the first few times," I coughed.

"How about I try headbutting humans or turians first, start on something easy," Wrex's eyes lit up.

"I like you, kid. Don't get killed, it'd be a real shame to see you die before I get to see you headbutt your first krogan," I swallowed a large lump.

"I'll do my best...maybe you could give me some shooting pointers," Wrex laughed.

"You? A shotgun? Hmm, as much as I hate to agree with that comedian over there, stick with a gun that's in your weight range. But if your good, I may let you shoot a shotgun,"

"S-Sure. Thanks, Wrex," the krogan grinned.

"Shaik," he nodded his head, leaning against the crates again.

"Wrex," I nodded back, heading off down to Engineering. I felt a little more confident, but my nerves were at their wits end. I spoke to Engineer Adams, head of Engineering. The short haired man was always very approachable. He told me a little bit about the engine, that thing was still too bright for its own good. I had no idea how he got used to it. He grinned and said you got used to it. He seemed much more relaxed about the aliens on board compared to Pressly or Ashley.

I had to return to the lab after that. Just to sit in silence and gather myself. I still had to speak to Shepard if he was free, and Joker as well. Possible Pressly as well. XO Pressly was Shepard's second in command, the grey haired man was reasonable, but he didn't trust aliens. I wondered if he would warm to them eventually. I remained seated in the desolate lab, playing with the omni-tool. The orange had to go. I eventually found a way to turn it purple, which was much easier for me. There was a message waiting for me on it, from Shepard. It had Val's contact details, as promised. It took me several minutes to learn how to add a contact, but I was grinning when it was done. I sent him a quick message.

_Hi Valérien,_

_Dell here, just sending a message so you have my omni-tool...number, address, whatever it uses. I'm still getting used to this whole thing. I had to get rid of the orange though, how can you read that thing in orange? _

_I'm on the SSV Normandy, in case you wanted to know the ship name. We left dock about an hour ago. I'm slowly getting to speak to the crew, all are very nice, although the krogan seems to want me to learn to headbutt everything. He's friendly enough though, though he keeps calling me 'Pijak'. (spelling?) I don't know what that is. When I learn how to get access to the extranet (?) I'm so searching this up. If he's making fun of me..._

_We're heading to Therum right now, but we will be stopping at some planets along the way. From what I've read about the stopping locations, most of them are things the Alliance want them to look at. I'll be working as an exploration geologist while they put holes into whatever they find. Wonder if I'll ever join the ground team, although that assumes I pass the pistol training...that'll be fun. _

_Hope you're doing well, and whatever you are doing is going well too. Hope to hear from you soon,_

_Endellion W Shaik,_

_SSV Normandy_

I sent that off after a quick spell check. There were some words I wasn't sure about so let him figure it out. I felt a little better now. I plucked up the courage and finally left the room to go talk to the remaining crew members on the bridge and CIC floor.

Joker turned out to be an easy going guy, he was friendly, always cracked a joke – although they tended to be fairly bad or I was too ignorant to understand them. He had something known as Vrolik syndrome, the bones in his legs were very fragile. But he didn't need them to fly, and his passion for flying was evident. I liked him. We spoke for a time, the conversations so laid back my nerves didn't rattle too much.

I did manage to speak to Shepard for a time. He was planning for a landing in the next few days, but he was eager to a talk. He told me of his background, born and bounced around the different ships in space, a spacer. He also modestly mentioned the Skyllian Blitz. He had apparently held of thousands of mercs and pirates until the reinforcements arrived. That was one of the main reasons he had been suggested as a Spectre candidate. I was still impressed that the Council, the head of Galactic affairs, had such a private team to do their dirty work. Shepard just laughed and said the resources he had access to were more than worth it.

Pressly was the last major crew member I had to speak with. He reminded me of my grandfather. He had been part of the Skyllian Blitz as well, one of the first ships to arrive as reinforcements. He was friendly, polite. I could tell he loved his work, and was unfaltering in his loyalty to the Alliance and to Shepard. His uncertainty to aliens still existed. I had spoken to him briefly while we were travelling to the Citadel. He seemed a touch more unsure if his fears were founded, but it would take time to slowly get of this. I hoped Ash could get over this as well.

I hoped I could call this whole team my family at the end of this.


	7. Chapter 7

My foot tapped to a beat. My head matched it perfectly with a light bob, even with my hand gently grasping my chin. I was leaning on a hip, the hip swaying slightly to the rhythm. The source of this movement? The music pulsing in my ears. I couldn't help but sing either if the tune called it from me. All the while, I was staring at the large board in the lab, layers of information piled on top of each other to form a complicated geological map of Therum. My hand circled something, wrote a scribble, drew a few lines, all the beat.

That was how I worked. I had discovered my omni-tool could link to my ear-piece/translator and play music. I had spent hours in the evening tracking down songs from so long ago. They formed the bases of my radio. Then newer songs would start to build up, of similar themes. I was actually listening to some turian music right now. The music helped me focus, kept me from rushing ahead or holding back on a thought. I followed the beat, and it set my thinking pace. It was like a symbiotic relationship. The quiet of the lab allowed me this moment of freedom to work as I pleased, and I was pleased with the twanging symphony that sounded a salarian song.

However, the map poised before me wasn't telling me anything pleasant. There was heavy evidence of volcanic activity; venting, basalts and pyroclastic deposits, and that was without looking to the open lava lakes that sprouted everywhere on the surface. And Shepard was getting ready to enter an active volcano to find this Liara T'Soni. Oh, there was plenty of valuable materials, I frowned, no doubt about that. With such a volcanically active planet, I would be surprised if there wasn't something. They wanted Element Zero, or Eezo, Palladium, Platinum and Iridium. These were the hot metals or elements they wanted. There was plenty of Platinum here and other heavy metals such as uranium, gold and the rare earth elements (known as REE). The area was intensely mined already, so the maps were highly detailed and always up to date. I did discover a few new caches, one quite large. I had already forwarded this to the Alliance Systems geological department.

I was glad for this distraction though, concentrating on a ticking time bomb. The past few nights had been that strange dream. The dark reds, golds and greens swirling around me. It wasn't getting much clearer as to what was happening, but I was steadily losing even more control. Now I couldn't wake myself up from it. I did ask for some sleeping pills, saying the noise of the engine was keeping me up. I wondered how long I could keep this up for before even they couldn't keep the nightmares away. I sighed as I circled onlap on the map.

A beep in my ear heralded the entrance of someone to the lab. My purple omni-tool popped up, allowing me to stop the music. I turned, startled when Shepard walked in.

"Commander! Hi," That didn't sound right. I should probably say 'sir' a little more. Shepard laughed easily, almost comforting.

"Good morning, Dell. I was wondering if you had any information for me about Therum," I blinked. I looked back to the land site map, hiding layers where I had scribbled to reveal – to a geologist – an unaltered, clean map. The mass blobs of colour, however, were not tuned to someone who didn't understand how the map worked. It seemed to make Shepard cross-eyed.

"Well, there are some things I'm concerned about," I sighed. 'Concerned' was an understatement, looking through the maps and literature on the area. "Commander, this place is heavily mined, subsidence is a real worry if they haven't reinforced the mining tunnels properly. But then there is the open lava lakes, and not to mention that the ruins you want dive straight into an active volcano," Shepard stared neutrally, taking all this information in. Part of me wondered if he even understood what 'danger' meant. "Is this safe?"

He was quiet for a time, still trying to make sense of the map behind me, trying to find the connections I made. My worry was eating away at my already jumpy nerves. I wanted everyone to come back in one piece, preferably without the horrendous task of amputating a limb because molten lava started burning away at it. The subsidence was one of my greatest fears, thought. The place was a concentrated ball of tectonic mayhem. Even reinforced tunnels could collapse if the tectonics defined it necessary to sheer or twist the tunnels. From the engineering reports, a single flaw in the roof seals could cause severe strain right along the whole tunnel, then it could cave and molten lava would fill in as it collapsed and the resulting eruption or volcanic explosion...

I didn't want to think about it if that happened with the Mako over it.

"No," Shepard finally answered, giving a slight smile, but there was no warmth to it. "It is not," The silence stretched out for such a long time, my nerves chewing at my resolve, my somewhat calm posture was slowly collapsing. It had been several days, and I had at least spoken to everyone at least once. My nervousness would settle with time, but until then I had to stay calm. I took a deep breath. Think happy thoughts, think of the Mako driving back onto the Normandy with a full crew after a successful mission...

"I looked at the route you planned to take," I turned to the map, homogenising the colours. The lava lakes were bright spots, the path snaking its way through a mine or two, before reaching the ruins. "Assuming there are no major earth movements, you should be alright. Tunnels don't cross under the path at a shallow enough depth to cause any surface problems, unless part of the tunnel collapses and forces lava to fountain under your vehicle. But my seismics says there hasn't been a major eruption for a while, and the area has been fairly quiet so...," I double checked my calculations, just to be sure. I slowly turned back to the commander quietly contemplating the information behind me. "People are going to get hurt though, won't they?" Shepard sighed.

"I do my best, but they cannot be avoided," he tried to wave off the sensation. "I'll do my best to keep them safe, but I can't make any promises," I gave a sad nod.

"I-I know you do your best, Shepard," We shared a small, silent exchange of expressions. I still didn't understand silent conversations, but I think we were both worried about this mission. "Just...bring everyone back home, ok?"

"I will, don't worry," Shepard vowed. He glanced at the map behind me once more. "Thank you, Dell. Keep up the good work,"

"Y-Yes sir!" I gave him a salute. I really had to work on that. He grinned as he left the room. I heaved a sigh. He was taking Ashley and Wrex down with him. I couldn't help but be worried. I sat down at the long desk, staring at figures and images of rock samples. I shoved them to one side. I needed something to calm myself, something to distract me. I flicked my omni-tool open, slowly working my way through the interface until I got to the emails. Val had gotten back to me a day or two ago.

_Dell,_

_Glad to see Shepard kept his word. I'm back on duty, so apologises on the length of time it takes to reply to anything._

_You neglected to mention there was a krogan on your ship. I managed to do some digging. Urdnot Wrex? An actual Battlemaster? Spirits, Dell, be careful around him. Male krogan are infamous for being aggressive. And Wrex is one of the more dangerous ones. Oh, and he is making fun of you. 'Pyjaks' are primitive monkey like creatures, pests in some places. Don't headbutt him. You'll break your skull. _

_But I appreciate the ship's name. I'll be able to keep an eye out for it, so if you ever to come into the same area as I, I'll see about meeting up. Just remember what I said about Noveria. I'm not happy about you going to Therum though, but if you stay on the ship, you'll be golden, I suppose. Keep me posted, I may be able to give you some useful info on the areas or planets you visit. _

_Vid com is also available if there is a need, but I'd recommend we plan for it instead of using it spontaneously. No idea where my mission may take me. _

_Good luck with the gun training...you'll need it_

_Cabalite Valérien Autillin_

_Turian Cabal Division _

I agreed with his opinion on Therum. I didn't exactly want to be here either. Too much molten lava for my liking. I wasn't part of the ground crew, so everything was good in that sense. That sounded really selfish, I winced. The crew were well experienced though, I'm sure they would be fine...they didn't have me to baby at the very least, like that last mission...well, the mercs were an unwelcome surprise while I clambered all over a deposit of gold. Thankfully, blocks of gold that large were bullet proof for the most part. I still had a ball of dread in my stomach though. I sighed, looked to the map again. I could only hope everything turned out well.

* * *

I could hear the radio chatter in my ear piece. I listened quietly, a pen tapping against a book as nerves set in. The crew were on the ground now, launched from the Normandy in the Mako onto the landing zone of choice. Everything was going normal for now. I sighed in agitation, shoving the books aside, waving my hand over the computer screen to clear it. I was in no mental state to be doing work right now. I didn't want anyone to get hurt, but I had no idea how to stop that from happening. I rested my chin on my hands, staring at the blank walls. I had to calm down. Everything was going to be fine. I kept saying that to myself. It wasn't working. I groaned softly to myself as I reluctantly plucked a sheet of paper off the floor, looking over the details that tried to grab my attention.

"_Incoming Geth dropship!"_ the radio suddenly spluttered. I jumped, startled. It took me several moments before the initial freeze wore off, then once I regained my muscle usage, I was on the extranet, once I struggled with the interface, to look up geth.

If this site was correct, I frowned, they were synthetic lifeforms created by the quarians. These flashlight headed machines apparently became more intelligent with an increase of units near each other, 10 were smarter than 1. But they apparently drove the quarians from their home. I released a tense breath, looking back to the maps. I needed some real time data. But I didn't have any sensors here that could track the team, only the volcanoes and I didn't need them at the moment. Last I checked, everything was stable and nothing seemed wrong with the tectonic or volcanic states of the ruins. I heaved myself to my feet, aiming for the bridge. The radio had snippets of gunfire, tank fire and a few curses sometimes. Nothing I could do about it, which my gut hated. It twisted and cramped at each blast of the Mako's main gun. I slowly approached the cockpit as Joker carefully rubbed two fingers together, his arm propped on the seats arm.

"How's it looking?" I inquired quietly. Joker looked around.

"Not too bad. The geth are a surprise but nothing they can't handle. They're just breaking through a gate right now to get going," I knew where they were. There was an industrial zone not far from the landing zone. I drummed my fingers slightly. I listened to the chatter, watched a tracker move steadily onwards on one of the many orange screens before me. They eventually had to evacuate the Mako, no clear path large enough for the tank to proceed.

"_Heh, nothing like a good fight, eh?"_ I heard Wrex laugh.

"_I hear that!"_ was Ash's answer.

"_We're going to take this nice and easy. Calm down, _Both_ of you"_ Shepard's voice was a welcome sound. I leaned on the back of Joker's chair, watching the dials and data move steadily onwards. I quite liked it up here in the cockpit. You got to see all the ground data, and watch Joker's magical fingers fly over the dials.

"Scared?" Joker asked.

"Dread," I corrected. I sighed. "But...scared too, I guess. My geologist mind is telling me 'Don't let them go into that ruin. It's not safe. It's an active volcano'," I scrubbed my face with my hand, tousled my hair.

"They need to," Joker reminded me gently. "We need Liara. She could have vital information for us. Might even know what this Conduit crap is," I gave a brief smile.

"I know,"

"If it makes you feel any better, your singing is pretty good. I saw Tali swinging her hips to it," I stared, horrified.

"You've been _listening_?" Joker whistled, looking at the figures, trying to pretend it never happened. I could only stare helplessly. "You...you...you _bastard_!" I was furious! I was embarrassed, and furious and- and... I felt my face flush violently. He was pilot, he could listen to anyone in the ship, and he decided to broadcast my singing to the whole ship? I contemplated going against Val's suggestion and headbutting him. He wouldn't break my skull. Wrex would be so proud. Too bad we needed Joker to fly the ship.

"Hey, hey! The rest of the crew said it was really good! They wanted some radio!...Not my taste of music but-" I stormed out the cockpit.

Too angry, too embarrassed for words. I was going to track down every goddam microphone in that lab and I was going to rip them apart until only wires remained. Even if it got me into trouble, I didn't care. Maybe my rage was clear, because the friendly faces suddenly seemed frightened, moving out the way as I forced my way through to the lab. I sealed the door shut, flung myself in the chair, holding my face in my hands. I was never forgiving him for this. Never! How could he? He must've realised by this point I was embarrassed about my voice! Especially after asking me to sing in the mess hall a couple of days ago.

...Who was I kidding?

I sighed, head flopping to the desk. I stared at the glittering pocked-marked rock before me. Of course I was going to forgive him. I was too soft to stay angry at anyone for any great length of time. I really needed that seen to, too easily abused. I sighed heavily. I heard gunfire in my ear, my nerves were once again rattling like a terrified animal and I was facing the situation of having to talk to the crew with the knowledge they had heard me sing. It was not a good combination. So I was chained to my lab until I was brave enough to show my fac-

"_Colossus!"_ I heard Ash yell. I twitched. They were still fighting. Still trying to find this scientist. I heard swearing, commands from Shepard. It felt like an eternity waiting for the all clear. I rocked gently. I was not made for this. I had to distract myself. I had to find some data to keep my mind at peace. I dived onto my desk-bound computer, searching the Alliance's databases. I was searching for the real time data on the volcano they were entering. But it was horrible, nothing was linking to the real-time database. Everything I was finding was mining reports in the are-

"_All clear. Lets move into the ruins,"_ Shepard's voice broke in. I seemed frozen for a moment, my breath stuck in my throat as the words sunk in. They...They were safe.

I heaved a sigh of relief.

I went back to searching, happier than I was a moment ago. Minutes grew, the radio only giving brief chatter between the crew. They eventually found Miss T'Soni, however she appeared to be in some predicament. I eventually found the database of real-time geological sensors and its gloriously horrendous interface. Eventually I found the section for the array of sensors for Therum's volcanoes. It took no time to find the volcano with the ruins. I looked through the sensors, everything seemed stable. I compared them to older reports. Everything was fine. No major changes, nothing. I relaxed. Everything was stable. Everything was fine...

Why did I jinx myself against good ol' Murphy's Law?

A huge seismic quake shattered all hope of stability. I stared at the spike, flabbergasted. Where did that come from? Every earthquake had been below 3.2, this one reached 6.9. I panicked. I snatched the data streams, powered them onto my machine to keep track of them. I could only watch in horror as everything collapsed.

"Joker! What's Shepard's com frequency! I know you're listening!" I waited, the fear constricting my through by the second.

"Forwarding it to your omni-tool," Joker's responded. "About the sing-"

"Later!" I groaned. I tuned my ear piece to the number, I reached for the ear piece.

"Commander, Endellion here. Is everything ok?" I asked.

"Everything's fine, Dell. Why?" Shepard's voice answered after a few moments. He sounded so calm, it was mildly contagious, but still mildly irritating with the numbers flashing red at me.

"I've just got a huge seismic spike here, heavy volcanic activity is carving that place up, wondering if you felt it or know what triggered it,"

"Oh that. Yeah we had to use a mining laser to get around a barrier to free Dr. T'Soni. Made quite a hole," I stared at the data pouring in. My hand moved slowly from the ear piece.

The stability was gone. So completely, utterly gone. Several sensors were pushing into the red. Pressure was rocketing, the magma chamber was shifting, volatiles were ramping the magma instability to eruption levels. I freaked. I spent a good few minutes staring at the data crumble before my eyes. I transferred it to my omni-tool, before sprinting for the door. I needed the real-time data on the planet to try and work out how this was going to work. I had to make sure they got out of there! People dived out the way as I ran up to the cockpit. Dammit, I knew this wouldn't go smoothly!

"Joker, get the Normandy airborne and lock in on my signal! On the devil, mister!" Shepard's voice rang from the cockpit. The pilot swung into action.

"Aye, Aye, Commander. Secure and away. ETA 8 minutes," I all but grabbed the cockpit chair. Joker jumped.

"Dell! Please don't hurt me! I'm sorry! I-"

"Joker, for Gods sake, hurry! The whole volcano is coming apart at the seams!" Joker sighed in relief, blessedly thankful I wasn't here to hurt hum, turning his attention to the ship. While he concentrated on piloting, I was studying terrain maps of the area. Several areas on the flank of the volcano were swelling, some were already venting. I watched where he was flying, heart in my mouth.

And this was why I wasn't going to make it very far as a military personnel; too skittish, too panicky, too everything.

"Dammit, where are they?" Joker grumbled as he started to move closer to the ruin. I stared at the ground, every nerve in my body on fire. I grabbed the back of Joker's chair, nearly shook it.

"Not that way!" I snapped, I spotted the swelling ground on the flank, looking out a window, I could see cracks forming along the tense bulges. Sulphur-laden gas poured out like steam in an unstable boiler. "That side's flank could collapse as we fly past it! Go that way!"

"But that's takes longer, Shepard doesn't have time, if he's waiting there and that thing goes..."

"And you'll be dancing in molten rock if you don't do as I say!" I snapped.

"Endellion," Joker warned, his tone losing all humour. "I know what I'm-"

"And _I'm_ a goddam geologist! We fucking _live_ in rocks! And volcanoes are our cream cakes! Just listen to me! Please!" I was begging with him while every fibre desperately wanted to protect everything around me. This crew was slowly becoming my family, they had given me the chance, Val's intervention aside, and now _I_ could do something back.

"Alright, alright!" Joker put his hands up, slightly defensive. "I'll go the long way around," he swung the Normandy away from the swollen side, around the sides that were already venting. "This is such a bad idea..."

"This flank is already venting gas out. This is safer than a side not venting," I growled. The lack of pressure would stop the side exploding, at the very least. Fire fountains were still possible though...The Normandy eventually hovered above the entrance to the dig site.

There was no sign of the ground team.

The swollen flank exploded with such a force, the Normandy wriggled slightly.

My heart was pounding loudly. The first real mission and they were all dead. That's what my gut told me. Maybe there was some key information I could've told the commander. Maybe I could've warned him about the sensitive stability of the volcano if I had found the data faster. Maybe...maybe I could...could have...I shut my eyes tightly. Could I have done anything? I looked out the window, and the desolate place.

Then Wrex sprinted out from the entrance.

Hope soared. A few seconds later, Ash and a pale blue skinned asari ran out. Shepard was just a couple of seconds behind. He slowed down slightly when he was out, but only to look at the scene behind him. The Normandy lowered itself, allowing the team to run into the cargo hold. When Shepard gave the ok, the doors shut, and Joker steered the ship to pick up the Mako. I relaxed, finally. They were safe. They were on-board and safe. That would take some time to sink in. I helped navigate the erupting landscape, I think I helped him stay clear of a few forming lava fountains or areas that looked far too tense to be safe. I stopped when he lowered the Normandy to allow a team to pick up the Mako.

"N-Nice flying," I gave a weary smile. Joker laughed, he threw me a cocky smirk.

"Nice flying? That's it? I'd call that _amazing_ flying," I snorted a laugh.

"Outstanding," I agreed. Joker grinned. I patted his shoulder, hoping there were no hard feelings. He patted my arm before I could draw it away, a grin on his face that shone with pride...of his flying skills. I rolled my eyes. I watched the ash cloud as the Normandy powered away from Therum, back into the vast emptiness of space. I let my shoulders relax, started heading down to the lab once more. At times like this, I forgot how turmoil could wreck planets, my experience solely on Earth. A chance to see these different worlds, all their different environments... I met Shepard by the Galaxy map.

"Dell, thanks for the heads up with the volcano," I blinked. "Helped us run faster," I laughed slightly.

"You were giving me a heart attack, Commander. I was so worried," Shepard smiled, he took a firm grip on my shoulder.

"It'll get easier with time. It will be hard the first few times, but we will always come back," I slowly nodded. I_ would_ have to get used to this. "We need to speak with Miss T'Soni. But I need you to look at some maps of Edolusfor me. Next mission is there," I gave a firm nod.

"Aye, Aye, Commander," I patted my shoulder before walking into the room directly behind the Galaxy map. I saw Garrus and Ash disappear in there as well. I heaved a breath, recollecting myself. I strode to the labs, wondering what other heart attacks were lain out for me on this trip?


	8. Chapter 8

"But sir, my interpretation seems to suggest-"

"We have the reports, Miss Shaik," the greying male sighed. "Geologists have scoured this area for decades, from various species, and none have seen any evidence for this massive stockwork you are reporting. Is this another of your wild speculations?" I swallowed hard, trying to keep my nerve. I was failing.

"I understand I have had a few misses," the snort rattled me. "B-But my track record holds m-more successful hits than fails. T-The Normandy is equipped with f-far more accurate sensors tha-"

"That are designed for combat, not geophysical scanning," he crossed his arms. I glanced to the other geologists in the room, the fact they were on Earth and I was millions of light years away didn't seem to help me at all. I tried to silently beg for help, but they were silent, casting careful glances to the geologist speaking. "Girl, why don't you try going to a university and learn the theory of mineral formation _before_ you try to question every survey completed before your time?" my shoulders quivered.

That was the source of all this headbutting in a sentence.

I slowed my breathing, tried to relax my tense muscles. The worry, the fear, was too much though. There was little I could do. I had been running into problems with this geologist for a while now, and I had no idea how to fix it. My funds were still too low to sit any examination, and the time required to relearn all the theory due to how quickly the field changed...I had to try and sound professional, show I did have the theory.

"This formation I have found follows the Cyprus-type mineralisation model, sir. I see no evidence for the Kuroko style that yourself and several other teams have found,"

"Evidence to suggest otherwise is there, Miss Shaik," the man growled.

"There is no rhyolitic dome. Everything I am finding is mafic. I've even had the ground crew collect samples-"

"Which, geochemically, are showing felsic signatures, not basic," I stared at him, quiet. The silence dragged for a time. There was no point in arguing with this man. He would turn everything I said around to suit himself. I stared defeat in the face, wondering why I even bothered. "Are we finished here, Miss Shaik?" I closed my eyes as I sighed.

"Yes, sir,"

"Good. I will be expecting a more...realistic report soon," the video cut, leaving me in silence.

I dropped myself on the chair, strings of evidence screaming at me. If only my degree was still valid...if only...I slammed my fist onto the table, wincing at the pain. Everything was going so wrong here! And I knew, in a few days time, Arnold Keplar would be on Chasca, using my data, and 'find' this new cache himself. He would take all the credit. My report would disappear into the void like it never existed. I carefully piled all the maps away, putting them in a neat pile just to make me feel better, before hauling new maps over instead.

In the beginning, I had wondered if my knowledge was too outdated to be of use any more, I had gone out of my way to try and relearn all the different economic mineral formations all over again. Only there wasn't much new or different. My theory was still very sound. So then I started digging, looking at his publications to see what he had written. My horror was evident when I realised the last four papers he published were my papers with a touch of extra polish. He had sent teams almost immediately after my reports were filed to verify the hit, to collect their own samples to use the documents. And since I couldn't afford to get them published properly...

When did this start? I asked myself this question a thousands times. I could only assume he saw me as easy credit after my first or second report. I stared at one such paper now, held tightly in my grasp, the faint sound of tearing barely registering as I stared at a word I had used to describe a particular crystal formation, not seeing it before in literature. He used it now, with the words 'I have titled'. Aside from ceasing all reports, there was very little I could do to stop him. The paper finally gave, leaving me staring at irregular tears hopelessly. I threw it in the bin with a degraded sigh.

I was still depressed when Shepard entered the room an hour later.

He stared at me for a time, limply gazing over maps on the table, tossing aside journals onto an every growing, ever more disarrayed pile. He remained still for a time before clearing his throat. I jumped violently, spinning around to face him.

"S-Shepard! H-Hello,"

"Everything ok?" he asked. The concern on his face burned me slightly. I didn't want him to worry, he had much larger things to worry about, what with Feros coming up soon.

"O-Oh yeah, fine, fine! Everything's great. I-I just got a new report from HQ. More work," I flicked a smile, feeling like fraud even to me. Shepard frowned, but didn't push the subject. Maybe he sensed the air around me, one of a weakening hold on tears.

"Liara T'Soni will be joining you in the lab," He announced. I blinked.

"Liara is joining me?" I stared at Shepard, the Edolusmaps forgotten. Shepard leaned against the wall, by the door. He nodded.

"She's a scientist and we need her expertise on the Protheans. We only have one lab here, so hopefully you don't mind having company,"

"O-Oh no, I don't mind," I gave him an unsure smile. "If she can put up with me, that is," Shepard chuckled.

"I think you'll like her. You can ask her more about the asari as well, if you want. Just don't forget that Garrus is playing cards after dinner. We'll teach you Skyllian Five yet," I coughed.

"I can't play poker. I can't keep a poker face,"

"Then consider it practice. You need to be able to hold yourself together, especially when things start going wrong. Surely this last mission taught you that," I flushed slightly. I did apologise to Joker, but he shook it off, saying I made it up by helping him keep the Normandy safe. If the ship was save, he was content. He did have a point. It would take me a long time to be able to keep myself as collected as Shepard though.

"I...understand, sir. I don't like it, though," Shepard softened his expression.

"Dell, you are going to be fine. Relax, have some fun!" I managed to cough out a laugh.

"Yes sir, sorry. I'm still getting used to all of this. It's a little overwhelming still," Shepard smiled.

"If you need anything, or want to talk to someone, we're here," I nodded. Shepard left me in peace, returning to the mess hall. I released a breath slowly. Saying it then actually doing it were two completely different things. I had so much to learn, to change, to grow. I wondered if I ever could...

Shepard made it look so easy. My main issue was my nerves, how they kept strangling me. They forced me to stay quiet, hidden away, simply because I couldn't speak. I didn't have the will, or the strength, to overcome them. I fussed with my maps, trying to distract myself. As much as I would love it, somehow, I didn't seem to fit with the crew. Oh, everyone was nice and polite, accepted me more than tolerated, but I knew I was a weak chain. And with this mission, finding Saren and ceasing his crazed plans, weakness couldn't be tolerated. I sighed softly. I had to keep trying at the gun training. I was slowly getting better, but my shots were still wild, and then putting me into a combat situation? A disaster waiting to happen.

I was distracted by the entrance of Liara. The asari wore an outfit similar to Dr Chakwas, the tight fitting lab suit had sashes of olive green rather than charcoal. Her purplish lips turned upwards as she walked in, her blue eyes bright. At the top of her forehead, the skin was mottled with light blue spots that started following the hair tentacles, but didn't go far along them. A small band of dark freckles dotted her cheeks. I was unsure on how to take her. I knew nothing about asari, and Liara would be the first I would speak to, properly at least. The asari at the hospital couldn't count since all I responded at the time was with zombie groaning.

"Hello there," she smiled, her tone was soft, much like her body language. She seemed almost as delicate as I... "I'm Liara T'Soni, the Commander informed me I would be sharing the lab with you,"

"O-Oh, y-yes we are. I'm Endellion Shaik, the...old newbie," I gave a small smile. Liara laughed slightly.

"Then we can learn together then," I nodded, my mind drawing a blank on what to say now. Dammit, why couldn't I do this? Her tone was polite, friendly, her words were formal and deliberate. She was definitely a thinker. She daintily walked over to my table, glancing at all the paper and hovering holograms littering my table. "So, what are all of these?" she plucked up some sheets of paper, a curious spark in her eye. I flushed.

"O-Oh. Those are just geological maps, mining rights, mine tunnel plans, geophysical data in raw and visual forms, some geochemical papers too but I'm still gathering those. They are really difficult to get half decent ones that aren't specific to a particular region,"

"Any borehole or seismic data?" Liara asked curiously, tilting her head to the side as she flicked her gaze up and down the table.

"There's not much of those in Edolus, terrain is a bitch," I rummaged through some of the papers. "Although I did manage to get some groundwater details,"

"A few terionaeris fossils as well, must have been a fairly deep ocean at one time,"

"Oh yeah, I was running them through the fossil database. Not my forte, I prefer the geophysical data. But the geochemistry seems to suggest a subduction zone...formed..." I stared. Wait a minute. "You know about geology?" Liara laughed.

"I'm a Prothean expert. As an archaeologist, I know some things about the field. Not as much as yourself, however, palaeontology is not my strong field, but I know a few fossils from several of my digs." I had the feeling I would like this asari. We both had some things in common.

"Then maybe you could help with the fossil work. I'm useless at the damn things," I glared at the photographs. "Especially since I'm unused to non-Earth lifeforms," Liara laughed.

"Only if you help me with the soil and rock analysis for my experiements," she grinned softly.

"Deal," I laughed. "I-I'd better get on with it. Shepard usually asks for a terrain check, I don't want to miss anything," Liara smiled.

"Of course, I had best learn the lab layout," she strode off to the other desk, looking around the table top and drawers. I grabbed some of the large maps before sticking them to the large board. They became digital data in seconds, the paper copies hidden behind an opaque base. The digital data hovered in my face, dancing with teasingly vast volumes of data. I ignored it, grabbing the rest of the data to plug into the computer. Liara watched me work curiously, watching me build up the data on several layers. Once everything was done, I stretched. With the music in my ears, I was humming the tune as I danced my stylus across the information.

I was surprised when Liara joined me in the song.

"Are you in, or out, Dell?" Garrus asked mockingly, leaning back on his chair. I stared at my cards, flustering like hell. Where these good cards or bad cards? I barely knew how to play poker! I glanced around the table. Some people were grinning or laughing. Garrus had that smug look on his face that was driving me insane, Wrex was leaning back, looking calm but grinning. Shepard rested his chin on his hands, already thrown in some chips. Tali was impossible to read with that helmet on. Ash and Kaiden watched from the sidelines. The rest of the crew watched with interest. I sighed. I threw a single coin in. At this point, I had given up.

We turned the cards. I knew from Garrus' cheer that he had won. I slammed my head on the desk, making the chips rattle. The laughter roared. I hid my embarrassed face as best as possible. I hated it when people laughed at me when I wasn't trying to throw a punchline...too many bad memories.

"And the champion reins still," Garrus grinned. "I'm surprised Wrex, I thought you would do better than this,"

"Is that a challenge, turian?" Wrex eyed him. Garrus fluttered his brow-plate, grinning mockingly.

"Well, if you can't keep up, maybe you should consider retirement. I know a good krogan care home," That incited the krogan to slam him fist on the table. It moaned in complaint. My head banged against the table as it jumped, getting a pained yelp from me. Wrex just grinned as he kept his red eyes fixed on Garrus.

"Game on! Deal, Alenko!" he took a swig of his alcohol. I had no idea if it was a spirit or a beer. It smelt rotten anyway. It burned my nose even from this distance. Garrus laughed confidently. I groaned. When would this be over? I was down to my last chip for the night. I was going to be so broke at this rate. I had been setting money aside specifically for this. But I hadn't been very successful. These guys were relentless. I had a steep learning curve to conquer, but it was walking all over me, and my money, right now. It was an incentive to learn though. I sighed as my cards were delivered.

One chip, and despite my best efforts, I knew I was failing. I had gotten a really good hand earlier, but I couldn't control my expression. I was too excited. No one raised the bet. I won 4 credits. I had lost about 400 today alone. I just wanted this to be over! I really did hate this. I knew it was just a friendly game, and they were doing it to help me become more confident but this wasn't helping me.

I always had confidence issues, even as a child. I was always quiet and withdrawn, that kid that was always picked last for gym teams. I had long accepted I was destined to be one of those people who would melt into the background. My parents, a political father and a boardroom mother, had never understood where my quiet nature had stemmed from. My parents were proud, vocal and determined. I gained that last trait, but only when I thought I stood a chance of getting it done. I had been taken to classes, therapy I later learned, to try and push me forward. Throwing me in the deep end, as was happening now, only worked when I was given an incentive powerful enough to override my fearful and quiet nature.

Money was _not_ one of those incentives.

The game continued on for several minutes, and my hand was not improving. In the end, I folded, pocketed my last chip. They weren't stealing that one from me. Garrus chuckled, adding more coins to the pile. I sat in silence while the group bantered. I had no idea what to say. I could never read people very well, unless they were very open, like Liara, and Shepard when he hadn't donned the Commander mask. That was part of the reason of why I was so nervous around people. I never knew what to say. The game eventually ended. I gave a brave smile as Shepard took the winnings, laughing with Garrus about a rematch. Tali nudged Garrus, insulted he actually lost. Wrex just laughed at the turian. The whole crew seemed to be in on this. Garrus took it in his stride, easy shrugs and good humour easily battered the friendly jests away.

I felt like a complete stranger.

I had no idea what I could say. Everyone was saying something fairly insulting, but I didn't trust my ability to hold a friendly tone over the devastating losses I had suffered. I kind of melted into the wall. A very special talent of mine. No one really looked at me, and I doubted anyone saw me slip from the mess hall. I was always soft footed, so sneaking away while everyone was too distracted to notice was fairly easy. A few gazes glanced to me as I gently brushed passed them, but they didn't stay on me longer than a few moments. I quietly surrendered myself to the painful elevator down to the cargo hold. The whole crew made it look so easy. I slid down the wall, staring at the doors. Shepard made it so easy to mingle with everyone. He wasn't afraid of saying the wrong thing, he wasn't afraid of talking to new people, he wasn't afraid of being made fun of. He wasn't afraid of anything, none of the team were.

Except me.

The doors finally opened. I heaved myself up, stumbling to the Mako. I slipped easily in the gap between the tyre and the wall. I sat inside the front tyre, allowing my back to get a 'massage' from the bolts. This was one of the few places were the cameras couldn't see me, and with Joker in the mess hall, he wouldn't know I was here until I moved. I sighed heavily. I brought up my omni-tool, so thankful that the future had such a handy device. I dragged open the emails. I began typing. Loneliness was a painful, dark emotion, but it was difficult to deal with when you had no physical ability to speak to people. It was easier to talk to someone who wasn't in the same room as you, even easier if they were light years away.

_Hey Val, _

_Hope everything is good over on your end. We just finished the mission on Therum, I think were heading to Feros soon for the next major mission. But we're heading to Edolus just now. Looks like a fairly easy mission. Therum went a bit pear-shaped at the end. Turns out the Commander thought it was a good idea to use a mining laser in an active volcano. Well, that started an eruption sequence. Everyone made it out alright, and we got a new crew member. Liara is joining me in the lab. She's pretty nice and has been pretty polite to me ^.^_

_Just got back from another round of poker. Sorry, your tips didn't save me. Lost 400 credits. I won 4 though, so I suppose that's something... Got my ass handed to me several times though. I'm getting to the point I'm just throwing money in so I can leave faster. I wonder how long it'll take before I go broke. Maybe then they'll lay off : P. Gun training isn't going well either. Everything is fine until they remind me that this will probably be used on people eventually, if the Citadel was any indication. Then my shots go wild (well, more so than usual). Maybe I should go back to a bow and arrow. I can use those at the very least. _

_One of the geologists at the Alliance has started giving me a little bit of grief. I think he's upset that someone without a proper degree is somehow on the payroll. He went so far as to examine my Sharjila maps with his own team to make sure I got it right. Then he claimed the rights of find. Didn't earn my extra credits for that. He's trying to do the same with my Chasca maps as well. Then he goes and-_

I stared at the message. I dropped my arm, staring at the panels of the wall. I was meandering my way around the issues. I was ranting for the sake of putting all this bottled emotion down on something. I ran my hand through my hair. I could tell him, couldn't I? I shut my eyes, feeling nerves and fear take a strangle hold on me. The thought of a person on the other end of this message gave me pause.

_Sorry. I'm rambling. I'm...I guess I'm trying to make sure I don't screw up. I'm just..._

I bit my cheek. Could I? Would he laugh at me? Would he take pity on me? The later sounded worse than the former. I hated being fussed, hated people patting me on the back and telling me just keep trying. At this point in time, I was tired of trying. I wanted to _do_ something, not try and fail. Not to be a liability. I failed at poker, I was failing at gun training. Heck, I was even beginning to think my geologist career was going to hit a brick wall soon. I was _good_ at my job, dammit, I _knew_ my stuff! Yet it was so strange how someone further up the pecking order could get so worried, so jealous, as to kick me in the mud. I was not looking forward to giving me next report. I sighed, turning my attention to the email.

It was so easy when they weren't here in person.

But I would meet him face to face soon. Then what?

_I'm just...not used to being around people. I don't know what to say to people. I don't know how to read people. I'm afraid I'll upset someone. I'm afraid of...making a fool of myself. Sounds pretty stupid, I know. _

_Sorry, I've taken too much of your time. I'll be fine. The poker always leaves me a bit depressed. I'll cheer up soon. I promise! ^-^_

_Good luck with your deployment. I'll forward the terrain map for Tarith you asked for. If you need any others, I'll be happy to give you a copy. _

_Endellion Wynne Shaik_

_SSV Normandy_

There. I said it. That was the bases for all my fears, right there. I stared at the send button for a long time. I felt a bit better. Technically, I could scrub this message and still be a bit happier. Ranting about something always released some of that horrid sensation of frustration. But...Val had sent several messages before. Even he was getting sick of the deployment. He had given a nearly 2000 word rant about how the Cabal commands were driving him insane. I drew a really bad drawing of a turian flailing in the air after being shot out an old fashioned cannon. I think I gave Val some ideas, since he almost giggled in glee at the thought (after saying I had no artistic talent, of course).

I hit send.

I had to tell someone, and preferably someone who couldn't confront me to my face. Besides, I had helped him a little, maybe he could help me? It was too late to take it back regardless. I lay back against the Mako, listening to the hum of the engine from the next room. I thought back to when I first came aboard the Normandy.I still had such a long way to go. I had some stability, at the very least. For now anyway. I was building a job, although of a few of the head geologists got their way, she could kiss that goodbye or at least grieve the loss for promotion away. Was it jealousy? Or was I not doing a good enough job? Neither were very promising. I just had to go with the flow. One day at at time...until everything did its next flip. That made me smile. I hoped that was still far, far away. I threw some music on, needing something to distract me from the heavy thought of being back where I began if everything fell through.

I hoped for the best, but was preparing for the worst.

The dream finally surrendered me to the waking world. I felt sweat beading my skin, and my exhale was slow and shaky. I wasn't getting over this dream any time soon, was I? I rubbed my eye gently. Did I forget to take my sleeping pills? Must've, the dreams never found me when I was forced under. I still had the blurred olive, gold and red burned into my skull. It took me a moment to see straight.

A quiet beeping in my ear stirred me. I blinked slowly. Had I fallen asleep? I drew myself up slightly. Enough to peek around the room. I was in the bedroom, and the darkness, light snoring and breathing indicated it was late. How did I get here? I frowned. Someone must've found me and moved me here. Garrus probably, he was the only one who really did any work around the Mako. I lay under my duvet for a time, my mind blank as I tried to get my mind in order. It was sluggish, sleepy. I carefully brought out my omni-tool. It was heavily dimmed, detecting the light level. The clock told me it was 4 in the morning. And that I had a new message. My slow brain took a moment to realise the beeping was my mail notification. Opening the mail told me it was from Valérien.

My heart began pounding loudly. Nerves rattled me, draining me of heat. I shivered. I did send that email right? I carefully navigated my way to my sent box. The email glared at me, mocking me. What had I been thinking?! I squeezed my eyes shut. Idiot! I should have waited until I calmed down. Should have waited!

I heard Garrus shuffle from through the wall. I was directly beside Tali, and Garrus was on the bunk below her. I had to calm down. Turian senses allowed them to hear heartbeats. I was probably waking him up with my damn nerves. I lay there, still, taking slow, deep breaths until I was vaguely sure he had drifted off. Or was listening. I could never tell with him. I reluctantly opened Val's message. I felt my heart rate creep up again. I began reading.

_Sorry to hear about the shit hitting the fan (?). Wish I could give some advice, but I think something like this really needs to be discussed in person. Sadly I'm on duty for another few weeks. Keep me posted with your location, I'll keep on eye out. _

_Look...don't let yourself be dragged through the mud. It sounds like you aren't coping with life on a military ship. Consider some shore leave. It might do you some good. I'll talk to you soon, _

_Cabalite Valérien Autillin_

_Turian Cabal Division _

_P.S. Please stop with the emoticons. They defy common sense on so many levels..._

I studied the message several times. Shore leave? Yeah, that sounded like a plan. I would ask for some after this next mission. I flopped on my back. Val made such sense when my brain refused to process information. Made me feel like a fool...well, no one saw that foolishness, so I could handle that.

It was still stupid o'clock in the morning. I needed to sleep a little more if I wanted those maps done tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 9

I fidgeted nervously as we approached Feros. All those small missions between Therum and now didn't prepare me for this, well, except 'Keep your head down'. I stumbled wildly as the Normandy swerved to dodge incoming gunfire. Geth were attacking this place, this young colony trying to rebuild upon the ruins of an ancient metropolis once inhabited by a long dead species. The people must be terrified. Heck, I was terrified and I was in a fighter armed to the teeth. Kaiden kept a firm grip on me as the ship took sharp turns. The rest of the crew were in the CIC, awaiting orders from the Commander, currently in the cockpit. We eventually managed to get into a landing dock, drifting in the air to line up with the oval entrance. I heaved a sigh, my stomach could relax. Kaiden released me.

"Still holding up?" I nodded slowly. Kaiden chuckled. "Are you sure you want to go with them?" he seemed concerned. I gave him a slight smile. I understood his concern, but my mind was already made up. I told Shepard yesterday that I'd like to join him, to get off the ship for a little while. I didn't comprehend the concern on his face at the time, he had been more than willing to let me tag along on the smaller missions, so long as I stayed in the tank or had an escort when I was scrambling over rocks.

"I'm getting a bit stir crazy being on this ship for so long. Besides, I may be able to help these colonists somehow while the team does their thing," Kaiden didn't express satisfaction, making me crew my cheek slightly in nervousness. He glanced over to the airlock, making eye contact with Garrus as he waited for the clear to leave. I sighed at the pair held their silent concern, a quiet promise.

"If you need backup, Wrex, Liara, Ash and I are on standby," Kaiden broke his stare away from Garrus to glance to me. I smiled carefully.

"I'll be ok. The colony is really close to the Normandy. I'll be_ fine,_" I pushed. The human gave an uncertain twitch of his eye, but he didn't push it any further. I just groaned quietly to myself. Tali patted my shoulder gently. I turned to face her, already reading the concern on her face. I was getting a touch annoyed with it all, but I knew their fears were founded.

"Does the armour fit?" she asked. I blinked. That wasn't the question I was expecting. I shuffled in the armour. The dark purple armour was similar to Ash's, only light armour instead of medium. It was tight fitting, but it still felt clunky, I hoped I could handle it in the worst came to pass. I gave Tali a brave smile.

"Yeah, it'll take some getting used to though," I smiled. Tali seemed to smile too, but then she turned to Kaiden, and the two crew members shared a long look. I sighed softly. I had to do this. I couldn't hide on this ship forever. Val would burst a vein if he learned I was walking into a war zone. But I was staying with the colonists, and most knew how to fire guns. I would be fairly safe.

"Alright; Garrus, Tali, Endellion. Lets move," Shepard summoned, walking out the cockpit. Tali and I joined them at the air lock. Tali and Garrus stayed at my rear, Shepard in front. I felt like chicken sandwich, quivering slightly as I was. I touched the pistol at my hip, and I prayed I wouldn't have to touch it again.

We waited in the airlock for a time, waiting for it to equalise the pressure. The waiting was driving my nerves insane, but I had to keep it together. Then, once the door opened, we were on Feros. The ruined skyscrapers in the distance disappeared into the clouds, ascending to the heavens. Great pillars of smoke rose higher than the cranes trying to piece these buildings back together, though, and strange looking, almost insect to me, ships flew in the distance. The dock had been refurbished, all smooth concrete and fresh metal, but I wondered how much of the colony was this clean after all these attacks we had reports on. A man was waiting at the end of the dock. He waved us over as we approached.

"We saw your ship, Fai Dan wants to speak to you immediately," the dark skinned, dark haired human informed us. He seemed friendly enough, a little on edge, I would have thought.

"Who's Fai Dan?" Shepard asked, carefully balancing his weight. I kept myself behind him. At that moment, I was eternally grateful for being the shortest member of the crew.

"He's...our leader. He you needs your help to prepare for the geth. They are making another push. Please, up the stairs past the freighter," he thrust his thumb towards them, around the corner.

That's when an explosion rippled through the area. The male cried 'Look out', just as a rocket snatched him and propelled him into a wall. My eyes were glued to his corpse, the bile already rising as I stared at the splattered remains. Keep it down, Dell, For God sake, do not throw up already! Two minutes in, and we were already getting shot at. I tried to look away, but the blood was everywhere. Raspberry jam, just imagine it like raspberry jam. That only made the stomach roll harder. And that dismembered hand-

I yelped as Garrus snatched me and nearly threw me behind a crate. He practically crushed me between him and the crate, trying to keep corpse and geth away from me at the same time. The ground crew already had weapons out, firing at geth. I grabbed the pistol, swallowing hard. I didn't intend to use the damn thing, but I still pointed it in the general direction of the geth. I hoped beginner's luck would play on my side for once. I quivered as I glanced at the machines, looking similar to quarians in an anatomy sense. But the black and white metal, the single flashlight head glaring down at them, the wires criss-crossing the body. Nothing said 'friendly'. I didn't have to stare at them long though, the ground crew made short work of them, and they were disabled husks on the ground. Garrus carefully removed me from behind the crate, placing himself between myself and the corpse splattered behind us. I slowly holstered the pistol.

I was still trembling.

"This is so not a good idea," Garrus sighed. He looked to the Normandy, his fingers twitched on my shoulders. "This is just too dangerous for you, you aren't ready for something like this" I cringed as Tali kicked one of the geth, the audible clang sending shivers down my spine. I tried to swallow, but it was incredibly difficult.

"Endellion," Tali stared at the geth, hands on her hips. "Look, why don't you wait until Noveria. It is much safer there than it is here,"

"N-No. I-I need...I need to e-experience this. E-Everyone always says I-I'm d-defenceless. H-How can I stop being s-so if n-no one lets me t-try," I took a great effort to swallow. I tried to steady my voice. I failed. "Y-You won't a-all be here t-to defend me o-one day," The crew were silent for a time. They _had_ to take me with them. There was no way I was stepping foot in Noveria, not after promising Val...Shepard eyed me up, weighting his choices with his morals.

"Endellion, stay close to Garrus. Garrus, don't let them get close,"

"Aye, Aye, Commander," Garrus nodded, although reluctantly, but the determination on his face...I felt sorry for the geth. Just a little. For once, I was glad to have Garrus' hands holding me up, my knees hadn't quite recovered.

We slowly approached the stairs, Shepard and Tali scouting ahead slightly. I had my pistol pointing at the ground, Garrus had his sniper rifle out, the gun itself was nearly to my chest. As we tried to climb the stairs, more geth appeared, only these ones looked like lizards, clinging to the walls and flinging themselves across the room. Garrus had me shoved to the ground, his large frame kneeling over me as he tried to snipe a few. They were speedy buggers. I quaked in terror. Maybe heading back to the Normandy would have been a better choice. A bit late, though. I had already convinced them to keep me with them. If I changed my mind now, they'd probably think even less of me than if I stayed.

I glanced at the geth, not spotting any crew member near as as Shepard and Tali vanished around a corner, gunfire blaring in my ear. I did actually shoot a bullet, but it swung wide, hit a concrete pillar about 5 seconds after the geth had moved from anywhere near that spot. I flushed violently, hiding my face in the dust. Garrus did offer some encouragement, especially when he had to grab me and drag me back to keep distance between himself and a geth. A shotgun rang out though, and the geth fell. Tali gave Garrus a smug look. The turian rolled his eyes.

"Sorry, didn't let that many through for you," Tali snorted, but it was amused.

"And your helpless without someone beside you, even Dell saw that," I shivered slightly. But I was so high on adrenaline, I gave Garrus a slight smile. His snort was playfully insulted.

"Dell, you traitor!" he mocked. That got laughter out of Tali and a snort from Shepard as he looked down the stairs to us, checking we were safe.

"All clear, let's move into the colony!" Shepard summoned. Garrus waited at my six, only moving when I started walking. Tali brushed some dust from my face as I passed, making me flush slightly.

We could enter the colony, Zhu's Hope, after that fight without more confrontations. I was relying on Garrus to keep me upright by this point, and the turian looked prepared to carry me back to the Normandy if this place wasn't secure enough for his. The place was clearly in some disrepair. The humans were living in what seemed to be futuristic static caravans, from the looks of things. All looked a little hungry, some looked exhausted, others just seemed to have given up hope. I heard Garrus' mandibles click, and knew I had to think of something before he could drag me back.

"I-I'll go and see if there is anything I can do to help. Maybe I can get some information for you too," My voice had mostly stabilised, but the quivering hadn't quite stopped. I heard Garrus grunt, unhappy, but he reluctantly released me when Shepard nodded. "I stay safe. Anything happens, anything, I'll go straight back to the Normandy. I promise,"

"Stay safe, Dell," Tali pleaded. I nodded slowly. I couldn't make any promises, but I would try.

I watched the trio stride into the distance, weaving around the people and mess of disorder. I stood in silence for a time, before I gathered my courage to talk to people. Most of the colonists were terrified, some were aggravated. I breathed slowly. Dell, you have to do this. You _have_ to do this. It's easy, Dell, just walk up to someone and ask if they need help. It's not that hard!...I swallowed. I had to find some reason to override the fear...The thought I grabbed was seeing all these people dying if I didn't ask them for help. That seemed to spur me on. I spotted one woman nearby, glaring at a console near a large metal pipe.

I had to prepare myself. I knew from experience I would muck something up if I charged in without thinking things through. My nerves, my fear, would grapple me in a stranglehold if I walked into a situation. No. I took a deep breath, wondered what I could say. The simplest things would always be easier, or so I was told, so let us start there. I frowned lightly. Times like this made me wonder where my fear at stemmed from. Was it simply a lack of experience or was there a deeper scar from my childhood I couldn't remember. I shoved it to the side. No time to think about that. Right now, I had to be Miss Social Butterfly. After thinking of something sensible to say, I slowly approached.

"Excuse me," she gave me an annoyed look as she glanced over. My confidence dropped like a lead balloon. "I-I am Endellion Shaik, Alliance Navy. I-Is there anything I can do to help?" There, I said it, easy right? I wanted to bury myself in the nearest hole.

"Look, I'm very busy," she nearly snapped. My confidence smacked me in the face again. "I have to deal with the water shortage, I can't stop to talk," she returned to the console. Desperation does dreadful things to you, I grasped onto the only piece of knowledge she shed for me.

"Why is the water out?" I asked carefully, trying to beat down my fear with each word, I felt like I was smacking it with a stick, the image did help but trying to keep a straight face was proving difficult. The blonde woman sighed, turning her gaze back to me.

"The utilities building was one of the first to fall under geth control. The mains controls were turned off and until all four are working again, this colony is dry," I pondered this. So, deep in geth possessed territory were the controls to the water...the retreat must've hurt. I nodded.

"Don't worry, we'll deal with this," The woman studied me, glancing at my pistol. "M-My commander may be the one to physically do the running around. But I'll pass the message along. Is there anything else that needs done?" The woman looked curious now. She nodded slowly. My confidence made a bunny hop on the up.

"Sure. May O'Connell is trying to get out power back up," she nodded to a heavily tanned woman fighting her way through a metal pillar nearby to her. "Our food supplies are down, you'll want to speak to Davin Reynolds for that. He's in the temporary housing. We also have geth running in tunnels. If we can get those cleared out, then maybe the attacks won't be as frequent. You'd need to speak to Fai Dan for more information though. I also saw a salarian around. He looked like he was annoyed about something, though he hasn't said two words to anyone here. I'm Macha Doyle," she hesitantly added, as if she had forgotten.

"Thank you. I'll go speak to everyone. If you need anything else, just ask. We'll do what we can," Macha nodded firmly.

"Thanks, Endellion. Now I need to try and see if I can't get to those mains from here. But if not, then those mains need to be activated manually," I made a sound of agreement.

"It'll be done, don't worry," I reassured. Macha turned back to the console, a furrow on her brow growing deep creases along her face. I approached May first. The dark haired woman looked up as I approached. She gave a friendly smile as she straightened, dusting her hands. I felt my confidence jump again, almost feeling like a smack to the underside of my jaw. It was jarring.

"Nice work with those geth. Glad you showed up,"

"A-Ah, w-well that was mostly my Commander and the crew," I shrugged slightly, trying to brush off the flush that was rising up the back of my neck. "Endellion Shaik, Alliance,"

"May O'Connell. Well, good luck with getting those geth sorted. I need to try and find some power cells for this generator though," I perked. See, Dell? How easy was this? If only my knees weren't shaking so much...

"We could help with that. We may have power cells in the Normandy," May laughed softly.

"Sorry, your power cells are too high tech for these old power controls. You'll need to find some out in the field. You may find some in the old vehicles out there," I nodded, confidence slowly growing rather than juttering now.

"We'll look around and see what we find. Stay safe,"

"You as well, Endellion," May smiled. "I hope you and your team can help us, we could use all the help we can get,"

"It can't be easy. But then there is the challenge," May laughed.

"Well, they did warn us it wouldn't be a walk in the park," she grinned. I said my farewells before striding deeper into the colony. The place was a mess, looking around. Rubble scattered everywhere and people merely hovered around like lifeless cor- oh Dell do _not_ let your mind go down that route! The metal box before me was the temporary accommodation. It was was small and cramped, I had no idea how they managed to get any privacy in this place. Maybe they didn't...I shook my head before approaching a man by a junction in the building. It was a surprisingly long corridor, but it still seemed a bit small. See Dell, I told myself, these aren't bad people, they just want help. Now keep going, you're doing great!

"Davin Reynolds?" I asked cautiously. The man looked up. The black haired man relaxed slightly, rubbed his short beard.

"That's me. You're the team that repelled that last wave," he sighed. "They'll be back. And if the geth don't kill us, we'll die of hunger," I gave him a sympathetic look.

"Macha Doyle said you had a food problem. Anything we can do to help?"

"Well, I need to boost the rations with varren meat, but it's too dangerous. The alpha varren – he's huge and he's mad. Rapid maybe. Totally uncontrollable. I can't do anything until he's dead,"

"We could fly some supplies in," I offered. He gave me a slight smile.

"That's very generous, but we'll be fine once that varren is down. We don't need to use up any other supplies that other people can use just because of one varren," I hesitated for a moment. If these things were as dangerous as he was saying, or this alpha at the very least, then it would be no trouble. These people weren't warriors...I sighed in defeat.

"Alright, I'll ask my commander to look into it,"

"I appreciate it, Miss..."

"Endellion. Endellion Shaik,"

"Endellion, thanks. We do appreciate all the help," I smiled.

"I am getting that impression. Take care. Your varren problem will be taken of, I'm sure," We went our separate ways. I left through the other exit, on the other end of the building to the one I entered. I spotted Shepard, Garrus and Tali talking to Fai Dan. From the sounds of things, they had just gotten the information about the tunnels. Tali looked over her shoulder at the sound of the door closing. I saw her shoulders drop slightly. I waved, slowly striding over to the group. Garrus glanced down as I stopped, rubbing my back slightly with his knuckle.

"Don't worry, We'll do what we can," Shepard assured.

"Until those geth are down, we're doomed," a dark haired woman grumbled. I scowled. She was very pessimistic, even by my standards, and I had just met the woman!

"Alright, I'll talk to you later once I learn more," Shepard moved away from Fai Dan, the lightly tanned man rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke to the woman. We all moved with Shepard.

"How is everything, Dell?" Shepard asked softly. I blinked.

"Macha Doyle is trying to get the water back up, but the four mains pipes have been turned off in the utilities building. They need to be activated manually from the looks of things. May O'Connell needs power cells to get the power back up, but the Normandy's are too new. May suggested looking at old vehicles to see if there was any there. Oh, and Davin Reynolds needs an alpha varren killed. He can't get enough food and needs varren meat, but the alpha is too dangerous for them to deal with," Shepard chuckled, making me stare.

"I was asking about you, however tell these people I'll do what I can," I flushed slightly. Tali's giggle and Garrus' low chuckle only heightened that red mar across my face. I coughed.

"I-I'm doing ok. Everything seems alright here, people are friendly enough," Thankfully.

"Just remember, Dell. This is a war zone here. You have to be careful. Don't leave the colony unless it is absolutely necessary. Promise me, Dell," I stared up at him, torn.

"I don't like making promises I'm not sure I can keep," I sighed.

"Endellion," Garrus' worried tone ate me alive. "Please, I know you are trying to be strong, but you aren't a soldier," I remained silent for a time. I glanced up at the turian. His mandibles were clicking softly. I heaved a breath.

"Alright. Alright. I'll try, I really will," Shepard held out his pinkie. I squeezed my eyes shut. Tali and Garrus' looked on curiously. Reluctantly, I took his pinkie with mine. We locked for a few seconds. I hated pinkie promises. They always seemed to hurt more than any other promise if you broke them.

"We'll be back in a few hours. Please, stay safe," I was getting sick of that phrase, just a little. I nodded wordlessly.

Tali gave me a hug, Garrus a firm squeeze on the shoulder. They left through a doorway behind Fai Dan, disappearing into the ruins of the city. I rubbed my pinkie, sighing the entire time. I hated how easily Shepard wrapped me up. I was beginning to feel like a china doll. I was a coward, yes, but I wasn't that fragile, I _had_ climbed mountains before; Ben Nevis, the Black Cuillin Traverse, many of the Munro mountains of Scotland, actually. I recollected myself. I still had that salarian to speak to. Apart from the doctors at the hospital, and a few I had met along side missions, I never properly spoken to one.

I found the salarian at the back of the colony, scowling at its omni-tool. The horns on its head told me it was male. The dark grey alien, charcoal in colour had mottled silver markings around his head leaving the horns black, over his eyes and down the middle of his face. He reminded me of a marbled salamander the way his cheeks were untouched by silver. His navy coloured eyes zipped over as I approached, sprinkles of silver sparkling the irises. They glanced back to the omni-tool.

"Can I help you?" he asked, nonchalant. I gathered my confidence, knowing I would need it for this. I knew very little about salarians. I had to watch what I said.

"Endellion Shaik, Alliance-"

"I know," he looked to me again, sounded annoyed but bored at the same time. "Word has gotten around," I cleared my throat. My confidence was dripping away like a bad leak.

"Macha Doyle said you looked troubled. Do you need any help?" The salarian seemed to raise an eyebrow, looking me up and down.

"Let me see," He put the omni-tool away, crossing his arms as he studied me. I shuffled slightly under his scrutiny, my confidence faltering. "Human, young, no obvious military training, weak pistol implies at least some," I flushed slightly. His eyes seemed to gleam for a moment. "Sorry, human. I don't think you can help,"

"Oh? Can you at least tell me why you are here? Maybe someone can help, or...I've not really spoken to a salarian before," I tried to keep my voice calm, trying to make up excuses. The dark toned alien snorted.

"I'm afraid your _commander_ cannot help me. I need someone with at least some science training and deft, delicate hands," he waved his 3-digit hand, dismissing me. That rattled my hackles slightly. I stood up straighter. I may vanish into walls at will, but to be dismissed so thoroughly...something about his entire demeanour annoyed me. It sounded like he needed help with a machine or something. I could do that! I was good with computers and machines.

"Endellion Shaik, Chief Geologist of the SSV Normandy and Assistant to Dr Liara T'Soni," The salarian turned back to me. "I think I have _some_ science training. Deft, delicate hands? Well, when you do crystal packing for Uranium-Thorium/Helium dating, you are dealing with crystals that are tens to hundreds of microns big," The salarian's mouth twisted into a slow but sure grin.

"I know," he answered.

That threw me.

"I have your records here, Miss Shaik," he glanced over the omni-tool again, flicking his gaze between the screen and myself. "I am a member of the STG, the privileges I have are...reaching. And before you ask," he stopped me as I opened my mouth. "The STG is the salarian Special Tasks Group; reconnaissance, infiltration, sabotage and counter-terrorism are some of our many skills," I gave him a weary look. Somehow I felt something was off with this entire conversation. I felt like I was being...played.

"What do you want?"

"Your help," he smiled. "I am Mat'al Delern. And I'm going to give you something far more valuable than credits as a reward for your help,"


	10. Chapter 10

I reluctantly followed Mat'al as he led me up some ruined buildings beside the colony. We went as high as we could, to the point the wind was beginning to get a bit too loud and ring in my ears. He led me into a somewhat enclosed room, holes and blocks had fallen over time, but it was steady enough. The room was looking over Zhu's Hope, capturing my gaze. I stared helplessly at the sight, my heart aching. They worked so hard to get a colony established, and then...The destruction was widespread, there didn't seem to be anywhere near as many people as I thought to have a successful colony. And here I was, safe and sound in the colony and helping by speaking...it didn't seem as effective as what Shepard was doing. Mat'al stood beside me, his extra few inches in height blocked some of the sun out of my eyes. I finally turned to him.

"Why are we up here, to look at the colony?"

"No," Mat'al chuckled. "No, indeed I am not," He walked over to the perpendicular wall, looking over more skyscrapers and roadways locked in the sky. "I am here for what runs over there," I stared for a moment, there was nothing out there but ruins, bullets and...

"Geth?" I asked. Mat'al grinned. "Why?"

"Well, we found it unusual for geth to be beyond the Veil, and to follow an organic such as Saren. I was sent here to investigate once word reached the Council about geth attacking, especially once we learned parts of geth could be obtained and still retain data," his calm eyes seemed cold for a time. "You are going to help me collect some geth memory cores,"

"W-What!? B-But I can barely shoot a gun! You said you needed a scientist!" I gaped. Mat'al shrugged.

"Technically, I just need someone willing to help, no one is particular, although," he eyed me up and down. "You may have a better chance of pulling the cores out than most. Human females tend to be deft of hand compared to the brutality of males. If it makes you feel better, a scientist won't simply fire wildly, and this is a fairly delicate operation," he turned to the window again. "But weapons?" he shrugged. "You simply learn the fast way, and pray you learn fast enough,"

"Absolutely not," I struggled to set my jaw, but I thought about Shepard's promise, Garrus' worried look, Tali's distressed tone. That helped my resolve. "I promised Shepard I would not leave this colony unless it was absolutely necessary. This is not necessary!"

"But this is necessary," No it wasn't! I screamed to myself, I was beginning to seethe. "Members of the colony are still out there, surrounded by geth, and goodness knows what," Mat'al turned to me, face serious. "The colonists need help, Endellion. Are you going to stand here and let them suffer when you could go out there and help them?"

"Shepard said-"

"If Shepard said to put a bullet through your skull, would you?" he asked casually. I paused.

"Shepard would never-"

"Truly, are you unable to think for yourself? And you call yourself a scientist. How many so-called 'Scientists' do you know who will blindly follow someone without taking their own opinion into the matter?" I thought about Arnold Keplar, the geologists that surrounded him, silent. It made my resolve shiver. Mat'al kept pushing. Maybe my expression leaked my thoughts. "Can you not take your own words and turn them into your actions? I saw you run around this colony, Shaik, and you spoke to those people with the full knowledge _you_ wouldn't be doing the actually work, that you would sit on your ass like a politician in a war. Are you so cowardly, so selfish, that you are unable to help these people yourself?" I glared slightly. For once, I was trying to surround myself in fear. The anger that was bubbling up was making me think of strange, strange things. The fear was losing though. _And_ he inadvertently insulted my father as well. My father had been a powerful politician... No one insulted my family and walked away unscathed.

That was the source of my rage. That and Keplar...

"Cowardly, yes, I accept that. But never call me selfish," Dammit, I had to calm down. He was playing me like a well tuned guitar, plucking his tune until I saw his point of view.

"Then prove it," he shoved a sniper rifle into my hands. I stared at it for a long time. I swallowed my anger, tried to let my fear keep me still. I held the gun like a bundle of papers, unsure on how to deal with it. I stared up at Mat'al, realising he had already won the instant I followed him up here. I couldn't...I promised-... dammit! I was being pulled by too many things. I couldn't decide! Mat'al remained quiet, allowing my internal fight to rage. Eventually, I slumped my shoulders.

"We don't go far," I mumbled, kicking myself for letting him win.

"You'll be back in time to see your commander arrive after a successful mission," Mat'al slipped the pistol away, expression looking chirpy. He popped out a sniper rifle of his own. "This way, if you so please," he strode off down a corridor, revealing stairs that spiralled down. I groaned before following him, trying to hold the sniper like Garrus did. It didn't feel as comfortable as a pistol or an SMG did. It was heavy and clunky, my shoulders already ached.

We walked along a narrow skyway to a connecting bundle of buildings, Mat'al typing away on his omni-tool while I quaked behind him. I watched the colony slowly getting smaller and smaller in the distance. I clutched the sniper tighter. This wasn't a good idea. I should turn around and run back to the Normandy right now...Shepard wouldn't hate me for that, at the very least.

That was when my omni-tool flared up. I stared in surprise as the screen floated data to me. Maps appeared, small paragraphs of text. I frowned. Why had it activated?

"Are you reading me on this frequency?" I heard Mat'al's voice in my ear. I looked around to him. I frowned again, beginning to suspect he had hacked my omni-tool.

"I read you," I grumbled unhappily.

"Good. Couldn't let your commander know you were breaking his promise _and_ abandoning the colony," My eyes flew open. I nearly dropped the rifle.

"But you said- you, the colon-..." I stopped walking. "No way. I am not going any further than this," Mat'al raised a brow glancing back at me. "I'm going back, you can go screw yourself with this stupid suicide mission. I'm a goddam scientist, not a bloody soldier!" I spun on my heel, marching off with determined strides.

I felt proud of myself. I had actually stood up for myself...what Shepard didn't know wouldn't hurt him. I smiled slightly. Maybe I was getting somewhere, maybe I could be a more confident person. I brought my thoughts to Keplar and my confidence vanished. What could I do? Every report I handed it was directly sent to him, being the head of the department. Dates? He could change them easily. Names, server details? A thing of the past with his shifty fingers. Maybe I should start sending them to other members of the team, asking them to forward it to them. Then maybe they would-

An explosion roared before me, sending my flying on my ass with a scream.

The walkway creaked, flexing violently. I screamed. I don't know what I did with the sniper, but it wasn't in my hands any more. A large hole now occupied the space between the colony and I. I stared in horror. There were several hundred feet open air before me. My vertigo began to kick in, everything was spinning, swelling. My head ached as it tried to shift through the useless information. I managed to drag my eyes away from the drop.

Then the walkway decided to turn into a slide.

I was screaming as I began to slide down the metal. The walkway was buckling, angling down to the void below. I grabbed a handhold – some ribbing on the floor – then another. I had to haul myself up, body running on instincts, up the old walkway to a doorway. I didn't know how I was climbing up, but I climbed and my body had removed me from the equation altogether. I managed to haul myself in as the rest of the walkway collapsed. My fear had me hyperventilating. I nearly _died_! What would Shepard think? Oh god, don't even think about that, don't even _think_about that. I crawled away from the abyss, letting my swaying head focus on something that wasn't an endless abyss. Mat'al was calmly checking his gun.

"Lesson one, do not walk away from a mission," I stared at the salarian. Had he...he had, hadn't he. He sabotaged the walkway before I had even come up. He said sabotage was one of his skills...why though? I was beginning to wondering if I agreed to help a madman. I came to the conclusion that I had, and I was an absolute idiot.

"You blew up that bridge!" I struggled to speak. "You nearly killed...me," I wheezed, the last word dying in my throat as I tried to breath. Mat'al raised an eyebrow

"Well, I did say you would learn the hard way, didn't I? Come on now, we don't have much time if you still want to get back before the commander," He walked off, moving deeper into the building. I still hadn't calmed down, but a single thought got me on my feet. Alone. A single pistol. Geth. I nearly ran into the back of him in desperation.

I was beginning to wonder what he meant when he said he was going to give me something more valuable than credits...Part of me found an answer: my life.

We entered a large room, towering into the sky. Columns, walls and who-knew what other structures had collapsed everywhere, reinforced bars protruded from the walls like a dozen arms. That thought made me swallow. We didn't see any geth, blessedly. There wasn't much in the way of colour, all cold grey only warmed by the sun. Mat'al was studying the room, frowning.

"This is problematic," he mumbled. I glanced over to him, my hand on my pistol desperately.

"What is? Can we go back?" Mat'al scowled at me.

"Of course not, remember lesson one," he tutted, waving a finger in my face. I whimpered slightly. "No, no. Stairs are out, but I had left a rope here earlier. Seems to have been dragged up to the floor," I followed his gaze. I saw the doorway, about 4 floors up. "Need to get up to that floor to proceed," His omni-tool coloured me orange as he flicked through whatever he was flicking through. Myself, I tried to find a way _back_ from where I came from. There had to be other walkways...When I looked back to Mat'al, he was smiling.

"I don't like it when you smile..." that only widened it.

"Humans evolved from monkeys, correct?" I shuffled slightly,

"I-I think so, yes. Monkeys or apes..."

"Good, you should be able to climb up then," he sat down on a pillar, loading up his sniper. My jaw nearly hit the ground.

"No!" I cried. "I-I can't climb that!"

"Oh, well, your record says you were an international gymnast champion back on Earth-"

"I've not done gymnastics for 6 years!" I complained. Mat'al continued like I hadn't said anything.

"And that you were part of a team that scaled several mountains on your world. Between your climbing skills and flexibility, you should be able to work your way up," How was all of that on my record? I never saw any of that when I was editing it... I quaked as I fought to say no.

"N-no! I-I can't do that any more-"

He shot me.

I stared at him, eyes wide. I heard the whistle of my shields disintegrating around me. It took me a moment to realise that I wasn't bleeding. I still couldn't find my voice.

"Lesson two, follow orders when you are given them," He reloaded the sniper. "Every time you say 'I can't' or 'I won't or 'no' in general, I take down your shields with my concussive shots. If any geth come around, all their gunfire will cause harm. But if geth don't appear," he brought out a pistol, significantly more powerful than mine, and he loaded it with live rounds. "Well, I have a plan for that," I couldn't feel the expression on my face, but I imagined the 'fish-face' had found something that had surpassed it.

Horror wasn't powerful enough. The thought to try and find Shepard's com channel and call for help passed through my mind several times. I'd have to do it when Mat'al wasn't here though...I heard my shields come back online. I had to do something! He was trying to get me killed!

Then I heard a gunshot and my shields were down again. My confusion built upon the foundations of terror.

"B-But I-"

"Was hesitating," Mat'al reloaded. "Again, rewarded with no shields," His cold look turned to me. "Lesson three, don't hesitate. Off you go," he got comfortable, checking his guns. I stood for a second or two, my brain unable to make any connections. Until I saw him pick up the pistol. Then my legs ran like hell.

Once I was near where the rope was supposed to be, I reluctantly looked around room, looking for a way up. It was a sheer vertical climb. If I had been any good at parkour, it would have been amazing right now. I sighed, stretching. There was a column I could use as a spring board, and there were plenty of hand holds around. Maybe I used use the rebar to help climb up, if they were strong enough. It had been years since I did any of this though. My body had lost a lot of its flexibility, and I hadn't scaled a proper wall for a couple of years. The armour would be problematic as well.

I heard the sniper click as it reloaded.

Well, it was like a starting gun for my terror. I ran up to a collapsed pillar, it was an inch or two taller than I, so I had to use the exposed rebar to clamber up. My upper body strength wasn't what it used to be. Once on top, I took a careful breath before running to wall. The floors were exposed, but there weren't any stairs going up. I jumped at the end, grabbing hold of the second floor. I flailed my legs as I tried to heave myself up. I thought of falling to my death kept me hanging on until I got a leg up. I heaved. I'd handle a mountain any day. At least I had safety equipment out there.

I then had the fun of balancing myself on the narrow stripes of crumbled concrete. The floor had long since collapsed. My nerves were strangling me, I couldn't breathe...Breathing exercises weren't helping. I was getting dizzy. I did the only thing that made me breathe, made me concentrate.

I sang.

"_V-Vou soltar meu gado, Vou d-deitar no pasto, Vou roubar a cena-a, Vou sor-rir sem pena, _" I followed the outside wall, looking for a way up. A piece of floor from the rooms above was precariously balanced nearby, just enough bend to allow me to reach some of the rebar. I carefully moved, wiggling like crazy to keep my balance, towards it. All the while trying not to look down. My vertigo would kick in big style soon, I feared.

"_Sem puxar as __r-rédeas, Sem seguir as reg-"_My foot slipped, a scattering of dust clattered the ground below me, unnerving me and my Portuguese. I had to straighten myself before I could continue. "_R-R-Regras, Se-Sem pesar ou ânsia, S-Sem errar a dança, Se é pra vir, que venha,"_

I finally reached the old floor slab, testing the strength of it before I even thought about putting serious weight on it as I finished the first verse of the song. I dared not stare at Mat'al, he would probably be laughing his ass off. The rubble held, but I heard crumbles of it fall to the floor below. I swallowed. I began the second verse as I tried to let the translation sink through my mind. I had to breathe.

"_T-Tudo é colorido, M-Mesmo o preto e branco, Q-Q-Quando eu pinto é lindo,_" I carefully made my up, making nervous sounds when it moved slightly. Near the top, I had to take a running jump. That destabilised the slab, the crash and resulting dust made the lower floor seem a mile away. I was dangling from some metal rods, 3 floors up. I had to breath before the terror consumed me. I nearly screamed out the lyrics as I tried to gain control. But I also had to climb up before my hands gave out. I began swinging, trying to give myself enough vertical momentum to propel me high enough to grab hold of some higher rebar.

"_E o que traço é franco! Seja reta ou curva! Seja esfera ou linha! Vida é sempre certa! E eu não temo a minha! Se é pra vir, que venha!"_I launched myself up, frantically grabbing hold of cold metal. It creaked, bent slightly. I panicked, the words stumbling out my mouth. I managed to launched myself up again, my feet finally touching the rebar as my hands grabbed hold of some exposed rebar on the floor above. I heaved myself up.

This floor was a little more complete, but I didn't trust it. My arms ached, I'm fairly sure my knee is bruised and I'm confident I'll be sore in the morning if I ever survived this. I was already out of breath. I still had another floor to climb. I looked around. There didn't seem to be any obvious way up. I began walking around carefully, testing each spot before putting weight on them. I finally finished the verse.

"_S-Se é pra v-vir, que ve-venha, Seja preto ou branco," _I reluctantly moved to the opening near Mat'al. There was literally nothing up here. "I-I'm not seeing a way up!" a called. Mat'al took a quick look around, glanced to his omni-tool. I waited for the sniper. He was silent for a time. He looked up finally.

"There are rebar rods on the outside of the building," he pointed down to my right. "Should be more than enough to get you up," I glanced at him, before slowly moving off. He kept that sniper in his hand, it made me so nervous.

I reached the rebar, but there was a slight problem, just a slight one. They was still some wall sticking out of where one used to be, to which the rebar danced tantalisingly out of reach above me. There was a more solid wall about 2m beside it. I stared at the drop between the two old walls. Between the gap, I stared at Mat'al.

"I can-" I stopped as he eyed me up through the scope. I swallowed. "How?" I asked.

"I'm sure you can wall jump," was his answer. I stared. Ok, this was where I drew the line.

"Absolutely not! I'll fall!" I screamed and took cover behind a wall as I heard the sniper ring out. My shields were still intact. I heaved for a second. He couldn't get me if I stayed in cover. Now was a good time to call Shepard, maybe.

I heard a ting beside me, glancing down to see a dark sphere, blinking near my feet. A grenade?...Oh fuck, a grenade!? I ran and leapt off the edge, bounding off the wall. My hands grabbed the rebar as twisted my body around. I screamed as the explosion ripped my shields off, my armour making tinking sounds as rubble bounced off it. I climbed a bit higher, back to near hyperventilation.

"A _grenade_!?" I screamed. Mat'al bounced one in his hands, the sniper still in his other hand. "Are you fucking serious!?"

"Well, it got you moving, yes?" he shrugged. He put the grenade back, taking up the pistol. My fear nearly blinded me. I scrambled up the rebar.

"I hate you! I fucking hate you! If I survive this fucking climb, I'm fucking killing you! You little shit-" I screamed as a bullet slammed into the concrete by my head.

"Less yelling, more climbing," Mal'al said, expression calm, collected. I was nearly at the floor. I just screamed out the last few lines of the song, trying to calm wild fear pulsing throughout me. It didn't quite work, but I didn't know Portuguese well enough to start cursing in it. Didn't know if his translator would tell him what I was saying though...

"_Eu não temo a vida! Nem seu contraponto! Se é pra vir, que venha!"_ I grabbed the concrete floor, hauling myself onto it. I barely saw the rope through the tears, neatly coiled up. I stared, feeling frustrated, used, toyed with. It had been purposely rolled up. Was he doing this because he was bored? Because he was insane? I should run, run back to the colony, or go and find Shepard, someone!

"Good, now throw the rope down. Not all of it, mind you," he laughed. My gaze hadn't left the rope. I was winded. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Why? So you can kill me in some sick game?" I yelled back. I half expected another grenade to come flying in.

"Endellion, Endellion, Endellion," he tutted. "I have no intention of killing you. If you die, it'll be either your own fault or the geth. Besides, the only way back to the colony is through about a platoon or two of geth. Do you really want to be going through that alone?" I stared down at him, waiting at the foot of the building. He tried a different approach. "What were you singing? My translator seemed to be malfunctioning,"

Why did he care what is was? He would twist the words to suit his own needs, like he did the last couple of times. I stared at a pocked wall, staring at the texture in detail. Why did I choose that song anyway? I sighed softly. 'Se ÉPra Vir Que Venha' was a song written for a video game, one that had kept sadness out of life...I leaned against a wall.

"Translated?" I asked, almost like I was speaking to the Gods. I seemed to be asking 'Why me?' rather than the salarian 4 floors down. "It called 'Whatever Comes, Let It Come'...it's written in Portuguese," I swallowed, tried to even my breathing. "I-I think it was...the writer said it was a statement of courage and acceptance. The end is near, as the woman knows. But she goes and meets her destiny with resignation and peace...even though she doesn't know where she is going, she goes, following the sound of a distant samba..."

"Translate some of it, please," he asked, his tone soft. I glanced down, startled, just seeing the dark salarian in my view. I stared upwards to the ruined roof.

"The last verse goes...'Whatever comes, let it come, Whether black or white, I do not fear life, Nor its counterpoint, Whatever comes, let it come," I fell silent, contemplating the verse. I sang it once more, softly, letting it swing around the large cavern. It helped stop the hyperventilation. I held the last note longer than I should.

I hated myself when I threw the rope down.


	11. Chapter 11

I glared at Mat'al's back as the dark skinned salarian calmly walked down more hallways. I was long lost, but at this point in time, I didn't care. I was resigned to my fate. I would either survive this, to which I vowed to never step foot off the Normandy without a team with me, or die here. I didn't like the latter option. We still hadn't even done the job he was supposed to do and I was already regretting not taking Garrus' worries more seriously. I wondered where Shepard was now? Would I run across him? Could I call for help if I ever saw him? Would he even help me or would he leave me as a lesson to my stupidity? I sighed, annoyed. Now wasn't the time to worry about that. I just had to survive. We stopped at another large room, just in time for Mat'al to pick up a belt covered in pouches. He strapped it around my waist. I stared. He had been planning for this...why?

"Geth cores go in these pouches, nothing else," he warned. I swallowed slowly. He glanced around the room. He grinned at me. "Ready for more climbing?" I groaned. I heard my shields vaporize. My jump was small compared to my earlier reactions. "Lesson four, don't complain," he reloaded the sniper.

Once again, I was forced to clamber up a near vertical ascent, bouncing from wall to rebar and back again. Mat'al's new rule included screaming. I bit my cheek. That one was difficult. Mat'al, unlike last time, had been following me up the ascent so it was impossible to hide from him. I had my shields shot down about five times already. One was when the concrete under my feet crumbled and I screamed. Mat'al said since I wasn't falling, there was no reason to scream. Another was when I hesitated at a jump, it was a large gap I had to leap across but I didn't trust my legs to launch me as far as I had to. Mat'al stood behind me, his calculating eyes hard. Then after my third hesitation, I saw a grenade at my feet. I ran for the leap like a mad man while Mat'al laughed at me. The fifth time was when I threatened to have Wrex crush his skull. He also reached for the pistol that time, but I had fled further ahead. For the majority of the climb, I was singing '_Se É Pra Vir Que Venha_' again, trying to keep my spirits up.

Then we hit the geth.

Mat'al dragged me behind a fallen wall, I was quivering in fear as Mat'al assessed the situation. There were four geth in the room, patrolling. The salarian was cool and calm and I was everything but. I waited for his next order with dread and a knotted stomach. He glanced down at me, studied me for a time with those silver-speckled navy eyes. He passed me an SMG, a more elaborate looking one than the one Val had given me back on the Citadel all those weeks ago. I stared at it, the dread bubbling into throat strangling nerves.

"Don't lose this one, girl. Guns are expensive to replace," I flushed softly. If he didn't want me to lose guns, he shouldn't blow walkways up in front of me! I turned to the geth in the room, ducking behind the rubble in terror. I shook my head adamantly. There was no way in hell I could do this. I was _not _ready for this. Regardless of what Mat'al said to me, there was no way I was ready to actually shoot something that could shoot back. I could kiss my head goodbye at that point.

"I-I can't," Mat'al raised his gun, already seeing my reaction coming. I grabbed it and angled the barrel away. Mat'al raised a brow, as if confounded that I had actually stopped him from shooting me. "I'm sorry, I can't!" I whimpered. "Tell me to jump from building to building. Fine, alright, but don't tell me to fight! I-I don't know how! I-I can't shoot straight! I-I'll miss and t-they'll hit me. You haven't even asked me to shoot things that can't hurt me at range yet for God sake! How am I supposed to do this?" Mat'al was quiet for a time, looking at the geth. He clicked his tongue. I stared as he changed his sniper ammo to live rounds, I knew my face was a picture of horror, I could feel it. Mat'al smirked. He took the SMG off me, holstering it at his hip. I relaxed my shoulders for a time.

"Then I need someone to distract them," Petrification joined horror. He wasn't actually suggesting..."Well, I won't last all that long if a geth gets near me. You need to distract them so I can get clean shots," I opened my mouth to complain, but he raised along finger, grinning. "In any case, you said I could order you to jump from building to building. I am asking you to do something similar here...just with the potential of bullet wounds. Remember the lessons, run quickly, take cover and you'll shields will be fine," I opened my mouth again. "Lesson number two and four," he teased. I clamped my jaw shut. I took a short, aggravated breath in before reluctantly working my way down to the floor above the geth. There was literally no arguing with this salarian.

Everyone I knew would be bursting a blood vessel at this point.

I grabbed a small rock, a piece of crumbled debris, nerves eating my from the inside out. Part of me wished they could, that way at least I wouldn't have to do this insane suicide run. I glanced up to the floors above, spotting the sniper aiming...at me. I swore quietly. He was deathly serious about this. I heard the faint sound of the sniper cocking, the geth looked around suspiciously. Fantastic, thanks, Mat'al... I threw the rock at the nearest geth. I would prefer to be shot by them than Mat'al...I think. It made a robotic sound of complaint before looking up. All guns were then trained on me in an instant. I hated how quickly information passed between machines, especially those armed with bloody assault rifles! I managed to yell, not scream mind you, when the bullets flew in my direction.

I ran. I couldn't do anything else, if I stopped, I would be one very, very dead human. I vaulted over a rubble wall, dived behind cover. My heart was bursting out my chest by the time I even managed to clamber up to the next level to try and escape the machines. One of the geth was following me, trying to find an easy route to me as I pratically turned into a spider to flee. I didn't stop, Mat'al wouldn't let me. I grabbed another rock and threw it at another geth. It smacked it in the chest. It actually sounded annoyed as it aimed its gun at me, which only made this worse. Where these things sentient? The thought caused more conflict than it should have, considering they were opening fire on my ass. I yelped and ducked, realising I was quickly running out of places to jump to while staying in cover. A bullet smashed into my shield. My bright blue bar on my left wrist blinked close to red. It was still up, but another shot would hurt.

Then I leapt over some rubble to come face-to-face with a geth's gun.

Everything in me wanted to freeze, to turn into a deer staring at an oncoming truck, but I simply had too much momentum. My body whipped control away from my brain, deciding it was processing data too slowly to keep itself safe. I jumped, used it's shoulder like a vaulting horse and continued running as it turned. It aimed. Then the head was gone. It fizzled, staggered. The arms flailed slightly.

"Girl, go back to that geth. I need that memory core," Mat'al's voice called. I skidded to a stop, but after a second or so, a bullet smashed my shields to shreds, a sniper bullet. I sprinted back to the geth. I was on the brink of tears, but everything was running on auto-pilot, I simply couldn't stop without _something_ happening to me. Mat'al would shoot me if I didn't listen to him, and the geth would shoot me if I did. It was a lose-lose situation.

"I don't even know what I'm doing!" I called up in panic as the flailing machine neared.

"Oh it's easy. It's in the chest, you can't miss it. Look in one of the pouches," I fumbled with the button to get one of them open. I took out a small disc, what could have been a small coin, but there were clamps on one side like a computer chip. "Stick it on the geth, quickly now. The core will be erased if you aren't fast," I swore, this man was relentless! I ran back to the geth, slamming the coin on the torso.

It went rigid, froze. I watched, enraptured by the sparks dancing along its body. Then the chest seemed to peel apart. I stared at a glowing disc in the middle of the chest, wires encircling it like veins to a heart. I assumed that was the core. I grabbed it and pulled, turning to flee. I nearly pulled my shoulder out, because it was tight inside that chest. I tried twisting and pulling frantically, like a tick remover. The wires began snapping, sparks flew around my hand, burning sensations tickling my skin below the glove. I yelled and leapt back, hand still gripping the core as if it were frozen in my hand. The geth tumbled forward, nearly taking me with it on its downward journey, but the core shot loose, sending me flat on my ass. I stared at the disc in my hand, lights weaving all around it as they slowly dimmed to nothing. Only Mat'al's gunfire at my shields snapped me out of my daze. I shoved it in the pouch I had removed the coin from, sealing it shut.

I was then on the run again. Another geth had climbed up to me. Like a surgeon, Mat'al shot the head off cleanly, offering bullet fire in my direction as an encouragement to keep me moving and grabbing cores. This time I was ready with the zapper, as I was now calling it. Fuck Mat'al, it was my life, he could deal with my slang. He needed a nickname, I grumbled. I managed to yank that core out without falling over, but I still stumbled manically. My shields shattered. I yelled as a bullet burned my armour, my skin scorched. I stumbled away, looking at my hip in dismay. I suppose I could add 'bullet wound' to the injury list.

It was only then that I realised Mat'al wasn't shooting the geth unless I was nearby to them, close enough to grab cores. What was he _playing_ at, throwing me in the pits of hell, running around unprotected and laughing at me all the while. Oh yes, I heard a snigger scape his lips when I run under where he was hiding. Bastard, I swore.

"Dammit, Mat'al! Would you at least give me some cover!" I snapped, hurling myself behind a fallen column, only to roll and leap the side as a geth clambered up nearby.

"Consider it a lesson," his voice sounded, and his tone indicated amusement.

"For what!" I cried skywards as I rolled down a hole to the floor below.

"For not shooting,"

"Excuse me!?"

"Well, you wouldn't shoot, so you broke lesson two; follow orders,"

"You're insane!" I snapped at him.

"Me? I'm not the one running around geth with only my shields keeping me safe," he laughed. I ground my teeth.

"I hate you! All of my hate!" I felt my shields give again and dived behind some cover. Whether that was Mat'al or the geth that brought them down, I didn't know, but I had to gulp down air as I waited for them to come back online. I couldn't sit for too long though, the final two geth were closing in.

So, I snorted to myself, I had to get close enough to the geth to touch them before Mat'al shot their heads off. That was not a fun thought when he promised cover-fire, although to be fair he never stated how _much_ cover fire he would provide. I would have to be more careful with my wording in the future. I was to grab the core while dodging the second geth. That sounded like so much fun! During the process of doing said plan in my head, I was shot in the side, my yell rewarded with a sniper to the shields. The geth bullet would leave a mark. I barely had time to grab a zapper before I had to deal with the last geth. I ran around the flailing geth, avoiding the final machine as it tried to protect it's only companion. Eventually, I was able to grab the core and yank it out. I still had the other core in my hand when slapped a zapper on the final geth. I stood there, exhausted, thirsty, frustrated and terrified as I slipped the core into the pouch. I yanked the last core out with more force than needed, but I was too annoyed with myself. I still had three more pouches free. I didn't want to fill them. I looked over my shoulder as Mat'al smoothly dropped from the floor above. My fear was slowly being smothered by adrenaline, anger and exhaustion.

"Good. I only had to take your shields out four or five times that time," I glared, on the brink of tears.

"With live rounds? Are you insane?" Mat'al chuckled.

"Well, a good STG always carries spares," he brought out _another_ sniper rifle, holding a sniper in each hand. "You screamed once or twice, though you didn't scream when you got shot the second time,"

"Yes I did..." I was severely confused. Mat'al grinned.

"Didn't even know you took three shots to the back?" my jaw dropped. Wait, when I had I been shot in the back? My hand ran up and down what parts I could reach, eventually finding a small hole by the left shoulder blade. "Hmm, maybe your back is studier than the rest of you. You also hesitated, a bad move to do while being suicidal," He put one sniper away, bringing out the SMG again. He tossed it at me, making me fumble with it slightly, but it didn't fall. "Lesson five; shoot if you can't run, run if you can't shoot. Never do nothing. Now let's keep moving. I still need a few more cores. And you need some more practice,"

I had never been so angry. I was exhausted, wounded, thirsty, hungry, terrified, angry... the list went on. He had been making me do _everything_and yet he sat up on his high perch like some bloody guardian angel...I wanted to get that image out of my head this instant. I growled softly to myself, I just wanted to go back to the Normandy, what was the point in all of this? Why was he doing this? None of it made any sense. Only my morals kept me from strangling him, and he was lucky I didn't have a lot of upper body strength...although salarians looked pretty frail... I followed him slowly, judging what I was going to say to him. I was surprised my own lack of fear, maybe that was the hell-sent teenager phase that I never went through kicking in. I took a deep breath as words finally formed.

"I want answers," I told him. Mat'al glanced at me, raising a brow. I quivered slightly. No Dell, this was not the time to cower. Get your answers, be confident!

"Oh? About?" I took a few long steps to close to gap between us. I walked beside him silently for a time, the salarian casting curious gazes to me.

"Why are you doing this? Why am I even here? What's your plan? What's the point?" I wanted to kick myself. The questions kind of tumbled out of my mouth more than anything coherent or sensible. Mat'al smiled slightly, looking ahead. I nearly ground my teeth in frustration. I just wanted him to lose that cool mask he kept on...just once. He checked his gun, the click as it reloaded loud in the desolate hallway.

"Tell you what. Survive this lesson, and I'll tell you anything and everything you want to know," He chuckled. "If I told you now, it might not have the same impact," I furrowed my brow. What was he on about? Fine, he wanted to delay on giving me answers, I could play. I wouldn't play along to his tune forever though, eventually I would get my answers...

We did find more geth, this time in a much larger room with less floors but less debris to hide behind. This time, however, I had a gun and I was damned if I would let Mat'al take it off me. There were about seven geth in this room, three of them were larger than the others, each armed with a rocket launcher of some sort. Mat'al checked his guns, nodding.

"Deal with the troopers first. Leave the shock troopers for now. We'll grab their cores," I stared at the slightly larger geth. I swallowed as the fear began to rise again, they must be the shock troopers...and shocked I was and a single bullet had flown yet. "Off you go, unless you aren't going to shoot..." Mat'al grinned slowly. I glared at him, I checked the clip slowly, preparing myself to use the damn thing. Part of me wondered if this thing was full. It seemed to be although I could be horribly wrong... I groaned as I slipped from behind the cover and slunk to a wall a little closer to the geth. We began round two.

It didn't go anywhere near as neatly as the last one, if you could call that smooth. Two geth exploded, sending me flat on my back for several seconds, forcing Mat'al to cover me while I got back on my feet, gasping for air and trying to see past the smoke and dust. Then the added issue of the shock troopers longer response time to the zapper surfaced. That forced me dodge bullets before the chest bloomed open, allowing me to yank out cores. And even then, I was only able to get two of them. The other cores exploded in my hand, my armoured glove was ruined, exposing my now somewhat charred hand. It hurt to move it too much. Thankfully it wasn't my trigger hand, so I could still throw bullets at these things. And then Mat'al got some geth behind him as a small wave of reinforcements arrived. He vanished from his high ground to disappear within the corridors. I heard the deafening crack of his shotgun plenty of times. I was on my own for a long time, diving back behind further cover as the geth closed in on me. Then the next wave arrived, bringing with it more shock troopers and a few normal troopers.

It wasn't going well at all.

I took aim at a geth, firing the SMG as steadily as I could with an injured hand. The geth stumbled before collapsing on the ground, the light on his head blinking out. I had to steady my nerves many a time during the long minutes Mat'al had left me alone, since I had felt the nerves rush up to strangle me, and this was hardly the time to worry about singing. An explosion rippled over me, making me wince as I slipped closer to the ground. A small part of me was taking notes in my reactions; the fear subsiding, my hand beginning to steady. I was actually able to think clearly as well at some points, although the rockets made it difficult to think at all when dust was falling around my head. I hadn't screamed yet either. Oh I had yelped or yelled slightly, but never a full proper scream. The occurrence of all these small changes, albeit the nerves were still bouncing around my system like a drunk elephant on a bouncy castle, made me wonder if this was Mat'al's goal. I slowed my breathing, popped my head out and fired about half a clip before ducking back under. Another trooper down, more were closing in though.

"Mat'al, for god sake, I need you to take out those rocket troopers!" I pleaded over the intercom, ducking as another rocket flew over my cover and exploded into the wall nearby.

"_I am trying, the geth are everywhere,"_ Mat'al's answered, the rumble of his shotgun prominant. I glanced through a crack in my cover, assessing the situation. I still had 2 troopers and 3 shock troopers before me, but who knows how many pinned Mat'al down. I looked up to the exposed corridor Mat'al had been hiding in a few minutes ago.

"Lead them this way, I'll cover you, maybe thin their numbers," as risky as it was, and being worried about hitting Mat'al, I still had to do something. I needed my sniper, dammit!

"_But-"_

"No, Mat'al! No more buts, no more standing off to the side. You are going to help me or by God I will drag your ass, dead or not, with me! I am not going to be a corpse for Shepard to find!" The silence was tense, I was half expecting a grenade to land at my feet, or a sniper bullet to my shields. Nothing came.

"_On my way,"_ I released a breath. I looked up to where he would run out off, waiting, praying the geth stalking up to me could wait for a moment. The corridor was quiet, so I took the moment to dive back behind further cover. I was being pushed back, but until I had Mat'al back, there was only a limited volume of ammo I had left on me.

I saw him dash out into view, but then a light danced over his body and was gone, vanishing into the background. An invisibility cloak? Huh, who knew they had that kind of tech...I saw about six geth run out after him, two shock troopers. I emptied my clip into them, then another, keeping my head low to the other 5 geth sneaking up behind me. Mat'al's shotgun sounded several times, and geth tumbled around like rag dolls. I was relieved when only 2 of the 6 remained standing by the time I had to try and push back some of my geth. Mat'al delivered a shotgun to the head, forced open their chests and grabbed their cores quickly before fleeing to a good vantage point. I reloaded. This SMG didn't kick as badly as Val's, for which I was thankful about. I glanced up over the cover, paling at the geth hovering above me.

I just reacted.

I grabbed the geth, yanking it over the cover. It was heavy, nearly breaking my back from the way it ached and complained. I wrestled with it for several minutes, terror slowly creeping up. All that new confidence that I had gained from fighting these things was vanishing fast. Why I decided to manhandle a machine, I don't know, but this thing was damn strong! I went to punch the head, as stupid as that was with a machine. As my first lowered, my omni-tool nearly blinded me. I barely saw a blade whip out and slice the head clean in two. Where the hell had this come from?! I withdrew, flinging myself away, crawling away, waiting for the explosion. I stared at the omni-tool as it faded, as the explosion rippling nearby drowning out my heavy pants. The fear was slowly sinking away again, allowing me to think a little.

"_Thought you might want a hand,"_ I heard Mat'al say. For once, I was glad Mat'al had hacked my omni-tool. Whatever that was had saved my hide, although ask me to do myself and I would have no clue as to how to do it. I heard a sniper rifle fire, and a rocket geth fell. I breathed for a time, trying to catch my breath. I struggled to hold the SMG as I dragged it off the ground. Why was it so heavy now? I lay back against my cover as I realised my strength was waning, the adrenaline finally running its course. I managed to let off a few more bullets, but it was up to Mat'al to take care of the rest of them. My body was turning sluggish, the muscles ached and the wounds burned. I just wanted to curl up and sleep, regardless of the geth around me.

Silence surrounded us when Mat'al shot the final geth. No more geth tumbled into the room, no more bullets soared through the air. Nothing stirred aside from my gasping breaths. I flopped my head back against my cover, eyes shut. Slowly, Mat'al slunk down to me, watching the darkened holes around the room for more geth. I felt his hand on my shoulder, my breath was coming out in painfully dry rasps. I heard him clicking on his omni-tool, the light beeping drowned out by the blood gushing in my ears. And then relief flooded my body. I shivered. It was like a cool wave crawling over my skin, a dozen insects buzzing around me, but the pain eased. I opened my eyes, glanced to him. He gave me a weary smile as he sat himself down beside me.

"Medi-gel. Never leave home without it," he joked. I coughed a laugh, my chest hurt. I may have broken a rib. My first ever broken bone... "Well, it didn't quite go according to plan, but hopefully we have enough cores now," he sighed, resting against the crumbled wall. He looked over his cores, the quiet popping as he opened the pouches reminded me of popcorn, and that set my stomach off. I was in a helluva state. Mat'al then checked my cores. I ignored his hands fiddling with the belt, popping open the pouches. The exhaustion had finally won over. The need to sleep was overpowering. Mat'al studied me for a time, smiling slightly as pressed a finger to his ear.

"Delern to base. Requesting evac, sending co-ordinates," I barely listened.

"_Roger that, Mat'al. Evac on the way. Sit tight,"_ a voice crackled in my ear. I heaved a breath, relieved. Mat'al glanced to his omni-tool again, looked to me, analysing every tiny movements I made. My omni-tool lit up, my eyes fluttering in surprise.

"A small...gift, I suppose. For the help," I struggled to raise my arm, to read the screen. In the end, I had to rest it on my propped up knee to read anything. I blinked. A lot of tools and icons seemed to be blinking at me.

"What is it?" I asked. Mat'al closed his omni-tool.

"An omni-blade in case they get to close, activate it by touching the palm screen with your thumb. Something called 'Incinerate', very useful against armoured foes. Just good in general if you need something dead. Stops foes from regenerating as well. Activate with your index finger. A combat drone, just in case you need to distract something. Activate with your middle finger. Cryo blast can freeze enemies for a time. Not as useful as incinerate, does poorly against armoured foes. Fourth finger for this one. Then finally..."

"A bow?" I asked, staring at the icon.

"Omni-bow. Your record said...you did archery, as your planet calls it," he shrugged. "May as well use every skill you have to your advantage. Two or more fingers are used to activate it," I stared at Mat'al, the salarian gave me a tired smile as he clipped a bag of bolts to my belt. They were the length of my hand. He sighed. "I've...given you some Engineer-classed tools. You aren't all that suited to the soldier, not yet calm enough to handle front line work, and you lack the biotics to be adept, sentinel or vanguard. Don't really have the eye or the steady hand for an infiltrator either, thankfully for me," I gave him a tired look.

"Why are you doing this, Mat'al? Why put me through this hell," I asked quietly. He rubbed his neck as he stared up at the partially collapsed ceiling.

"I've...given you a beginner's crash course in STG training," I blinked. "I teach the training courses when I'm not out on missions, I've taught more STGs operatives than I have done missions myself," he flicked a smile "I have an eye for...talent," he shrugged. "We have cameras all over the colony, mostly to watch the geth, so when you arrived I wondered why you were here. A human vessel was not unusual given the circumstances, but Alliance? Where were the ExoGeni ships? And a Spectre on top of everything...it was unusual, so we investigated. Then I saw you, the obvious black sheep. Your body language screamed 'Not a soldier' and yet you were walking into a war zone...As we watched you. something about you...clicked, something I've only experienced with a few people, and never a non-salarian. I watched your team in the docking bay, when you were attacked...my gut wasn't far off the mark. I decided I wanted to see if you could learn, that given extreme enough conditions I could over-ride your natural instinct to cower, to hide," I managed a small laugh.

"You saw me hiding and being crushed behind a crate by a turian and thought I had potential?"

"You were ready to fight, though," he smiled. "Most people, especially as untrained as you, who had a gun on their person would either shoot wildly or forget they had the thing. You were able to control yourself enough to have the gun ready to use, but weren't wild enough to start shooting anything that moves. As terrified as you were, you still kept it together enough to aim the gun, although you never shot. I assumed you were worried about hitting friendly," I was beginning to think the man was partially psychic. "You weren't given much option with the geth stalkers, although you did shoot a bullet, a bit slow but with a fully grown turian sitting on you I can hardly blame you. He seems to be quite protective of you," I smiled.

"He's like the brother I never had," Mat'al laughed softly.

"As a brother, I can attest to that," he smiled slightly, continuing with his tale. "Then I watched you while you went around the colonists. I saw how nervous you were, saw the fear rattling your frame. Not many people walk over their fears and nerves when they don't need to, you spoke to people when you didn't really need to. I doubt your commander would mind if you decided not to say a word to anyone. And you did that again here. Scared as you were, you kept going, kept pushing yourself onwards, controlling your fear," He patted my shoulder gently. "You've done better than I thought, although the nerves still need hardening. Still making small mistakes, all fear based naturally. They'll iron themselves out with time though," he grinned. "You even ordered me around,"

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that," I flushed lightly.

"Not at all, you probably saved me from several injuries. But... Well I suppose my training method was also based on the fact these geth get tiresome after a while, too easy as a target at times," I glared at him.

"You shot at me because you were bored?" Mat'al grinned. I wanted to strangle him again. Then part of me wondered if he was purposely yanking my chain. Judging from the way his eyes gleamed, he was. I just glowered as we sat in silence for a time.

"When we get out of here, I'm buying you a drink," I laughed lightly.

"Teetotal," I grinned. Mat'al raised an eyebrow.

"Lesson six; never turn down a drink. You'll never get it again," that got a laugh out of me. I shook my head. The silence returned. We both listened for geth, for any sign of life around us. All was still.

"_Evac to Delern. ETA 3 minutes,"_


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: I had a lot of trouble writing this chapter...wow. Hopefully, they'll get easier from here on out!

* * *

"Roger that, Evac, Delern out," I answered over the intercom. I pushed myself to my feet, checking the clips in my rifles and the shotgun. I took a quick glance to Dell, sitting behind the ruins of the wall. She had lost the majority of her colour, dark circles marring the skin around her eyes, her limbs looked heavy, and the lip licking showed her dehydration. She had mostly gathered her breath, but she was showing every sign of exhaustion. She was burned out. Getting her out in one piece would be difficult without aid, enter the evac team.

The crew of 10 arrived on schedule, salarians in a variety of colours; blue, red, even a black and yellow. Most flared out the secure the area, a teal skinned salarian approached me. He glanced to Dell when she came into his view, his amber eyes flicking to me in confusion. He checked the clip on his assault rifle. He didn't need to ask anything. I shrugged loosely, keeping a close eye on the others. It was all silent, no geth nearby.

"Who's the human, Mat'al? Another one of your ridiculous agents?" I snorted lightly, allowing a grin to lift my face. I felt like anything but grinning.

"Not at all, Harshee," I shifted my gaze to Dell as she groaned, moving her muscles for the first time in several minutes. "She is my new student," Harshee popped his jaw, amber eyes clouded with disbelief.

"Mat'al, she's human,"

"I fail to see the issue. If the Salarian Union is offended by this well then that is their problem. I have not said I am rolling her into the STG, _that_ would offend the Union," Harshee scowled softly.

"Still talking in circles. Alright commander, let's get you and your...protégé out of here," I nodded, already kneeling by Endellion. I hoped she could still walk, the last batch of medi-gel had stemmed the pain, but her pain tolerance level...I didn't know where it stood.

"Dell, one last leg. Up you get. Unless of course, I need to bring the guns out again," She managed a weak glare. Good, still had some fight left in her. One last push, one last heave to the finish. She could take it – if she was spirited enough.

"I'm up, I'm up," she groaned, slowly swaying her way to her feet. She clutched the wall for a good minute, trying to keep her legs holding her. I frowned. I knew I had to push her hard, be relentless, but I should have kept her moving. She breathed slowly, through her teeth. No doubt about it now, she had broken something, most likely from when she was fighting that geth. I administered another medi-gel, watching her frame shudder as she let it sink in. The other salarians recollected around us. She looked around, suddenly awake as she stared at the unfamiliar faces. Her fear was obvious. She turned to me, her only rock.

"We need to move before any more geth come. ETA?" I turned to a dark blue salarian. He frowned, giving the once over on Dell. I trusted Gareath's judgement on such things, he could read humans far easier than I, having worked with them for years. His frown wasn't telling me anything pleasant.

"In her state? 20 minutes, less if she doesn't get shot," I frowned. That weakened, huh? How to deal with this...press her on or urge her back? I'd have to play by ear for the first few minutes.

"Alright, move out," I commanded. To my gleeful surprise, Dell was the first that moved, SMG in hand. She looked ready to drop dead, but she was still moving. My gut hadn't lied, she _could_ make it. But I knew what was lying below... I was by her heel, the team around us. We moved through the ruins of the skyscraper.

Our goal was a ship waiting to take us off this forsaken planet, not far from Zhu's Hope. Wheel weave this planet mercy, I sighed. Dell was limping, but by the lack of twitches along her face, it was more exhaustion than injury based. But her jaw was set, eyes dead ahead and hand firm around the Locust. With her inexperience with firearms, I deemed her too raw for something such as a Tempest. But from her first few shots of it, it appeared as if she had prepared for kick-up. Maybe she had some experience with SMGs before...No time to think on that, I scowled to myself. The big guns were surrounding us and Dell needed your eyes everywhere if she was to get through intact.

We began the ascent, the stairs were crumbling, some staircases gone completely. The Evac had prepared ropes to wrestle up to the clouds once more. I watched proudly as Dell simply took the rope and forced her way up, some odd sounds escaping her lips as she tried to keep her mouth together through the pain. All without a harness. Maybe her exhaustion had replaced her caution with boldness. Best keep a close eye on her, just in case she does something stupid. I followed close behind, right by her side before she had taken 5 steps. Now the team was becoming edgy. Scouts were sent out, peeking around every corner. Nothing so far. I kept the shotgun primed, watching Dell slowly wakening up with each step. Good, she was recovering slightly, the medi-gel was finally kicking i-

"Prime!" A salarian yelled. I aimed the shotgun in time to see a rocket blast the poor bastard into a wall. The green stain caused eyes to narrow around the whole team as we backed up into another hallway. Dell's eyes snapped open, jumped in surprise. I grabbed her arm, yanking her down the hallway away from the Prime.

"D-Do I want to know what a prime is?" She asked, slowly powering her legs herself. I snorted.

"Not particularly...but everything has just gotten more interesting," I cocked the shotgun purposely, watching Dell's expression. If anything, she looked annoyed as she checked the clip on the Locust. I could only smile. That would change once she actually saw a Prime...We proceeded with caution.

Of course though, geth are geth and they love to get in your way!

I hugged a wall as a swarm of geth piled into the hall before us. Dell mimicked me, if only because she had no idea what to do. I barely gave her a second glance. Just get her out, the thought snapped at me. I answered it with a shotgun burst. Dell armed the Locust, but I kept her behind the corner, the STG team was getting through them easily enough. She gave me a strange look, as if she couldn't figure out what I was trying to do. I just gave her a cool smile. Now she frowned, but her eyes looked puzzled. She was trying to understand me, but was failing...I would rectify that later.

A grenade ripped a hole in the floor, sounding the end of the battle. The team wasted no time in scouting out the halls, searching for more machines. I watched the six as I directed Dell down the hall. The Locust was pointing dead ahead, her eyes twitching wildly as she tried to spot any possible threat. I had no idea how to deal with her confidence. The skills I was teaching her were giving her technical and practical skills in weapons and war, but she only followed me because she didn't want to die. I had yet to see a confident gleam in her eye as she walked along hallways, or eyeing a foe down the scope. She had such a long way to go...

A scream briefly followed the sound of exploding concrete.

We could only watch as a large geth, a Prime armed with rockets on it's bulging shoulders, collapsed from the floor above and drove one of the team deeper into the structure. The whole floor shook, the ceiling rocked. Dell clung to some collapsed debris, trying to stay upright. I hauled here away from the collapsing hole in the floor, yanking her back to an intersection. I stared at the chasm before us, frowning. Dell was panting, already, staring at the hole, at the evac team with wild eyes. I kept a firm grip on her arm, giving her a hard stare.

"Well, change of plans, hmm?" She glanced to me, eyes flickering fear as she turned to gaze longingly at the back-up that was disappearing around another bend, trying to reconnect with us. I popped the shield sniper out, watching Dell's eyes steady as she shifted from fear to weary. I smiled. "Shall we continue?" my gaze flew over a map in my omni-tool, my feet already on the march down a hall.

"So that...was a Prime?"

"Indeed, it can be safely assumed that you do no wish to take it on one-on-one...especially in your condition. I'm surprised you didn't drop dead just seeing the damn thing," only half of my attention was on the reply, the other half on everything else.

"That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard," Dell responded with such an outrageous volume of sarcasm I stumbled on some debris. I hadn't expected that from her... Her laughter was a joyous relief as it rocketed off the ruined walls. I scowled, but this more playful side of her was such a stranger to meet. I could only imagine what she would be like once she completely relaxed.

"I'll pay you back for that," I vowed. She just laughed at me again, not taking my threat seriously. Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn't. I hadn't decided on that yet.

Alone once more, we trekked throughout the cramped corridors to find the way to the outside, the fuchsia sky no doubt staining the shadows purple. Dell, who had been showing signs of gaining strength, was once again beginning to slip under exhaustion. She only had so much energy left, and all this walking around was not helping her condition. I frowned as I tried to find somewhere safe, or at least think of something to help. I had limited supplies on me, and nothing Dell would thank me for later. I did offer my water though, and I had the sneaking suspicion I wouldn't get a drop back. Rattling the container upon return verified my thoughts.

Then geth appeared, not many, but enough for me to shove Dell behind some cover. She yelped, glared at me, but she armed the Locust any way, just in case. I scowled down at her as she tried to poke her head above cover, to see the situation. Her glare was fiery, but they lacked the heat.

"You throw me into the fire and now you're trying to wrap me up in a bubble?" Dell hissed at me. I would have been slightly offended at the tone, had it been aggressive. Her's sounded more confused, like she was being pulled from two different directions.

"Class is over," I grinned at her after my sniper bullet tore a geth's head off. "You are in no condition to be doing much beyond survival. I am trying to get you out in one piece. And let's be honest, you can barely walk, what chance do you have of actually hitting something?" A spark flashed in her eyes. She hoisted her Locust up, aimed over the wall, despite my attempts so shove her down, and emptied a clip. A geth sounded in complaint at the bullets smashing into its chest. I scowled. "Alright, alright! You've made your point. Now get _down_," I nearly did glare at her, to try and freeze her in her place. Blessedly, she lay still against the cover.

"I seriously don't know if you are coming or going," she mumbled in a disquieted tone. I ignored it for now. Eventually, one last shotgun burst put an end to the rest of the minor geth in the room. I did the quick once over the area. I nodded slowly.

"Alright, _car'shesh_, let's move," she groaned softly, then she hoisted herself to her feet.

"I think I heard my translator cry," she grumbled quietly. I chuckled softly. She still had that spirit in her, now if she could just keep it a little longer.

"If you're a good girl, I may tell you what it is," Dell sighed loudly, sounding like a grouchy teenager humans infamously mentioned. I turned a corner, shotgun aimed. My gaze hardened as a saw a gun inches from mine, but a quick glance up showed friendly. The evac team had found us again. Harshee scoffed softly.

"There you are," he grumbled as he lowered the assault rifle. "Was getting worried, Delern. Didn't want to hunt your dead body," I gave a chilled smile, to be kind.

"Apologies, it is not every day a prime drops from the sky," he glared softly. Gareath moved up beside him.

"There are three primes on this level. We need to move," he informed casually. Gareath never panicked. Always the cool, collected one. Just like I trained him to be.

"Hmm, alright," I pressed a finger to my ear. "Delern to base, we are surrounded by Primes. Need routes to get outside ASAP,"

"_Roger that, Delern, sending alternative routes,"_ The team marched blindly in the ten or so seconds it took for the routes to be sent. I was eternally thankful for our quick processing once they came in.

"No routes look fantastic, Delern," Gareath turned a calm eye to me. "Not for your human anyway," Endellion's snort dragged our attention to her.

"After what I've been through?" she shook her head lightly. "Just...just choose one, I'll manage it," I watched as she paced up and down the hall, trying to prevent herself falling asleep again. A little longer...

"We'll take this path, we'll need to walk through the colony but that is safer than Primes," Harshee plugged into his omni-tool. I nodded, shrugging as I did so.

"Whatever you think is best," the salarian frowned at me. I gave him a simple smile, while inside I was rolling my eyes. He still had a long way to go...

Dell started walking after the team, eager to be off. I couldn't blame her, this place was far too dangerous, especially in her condition. Keeping pace with her was easy enough, although _I_ set the pace. I wasn't burning her new-found energy that easily. She frowned at me, still trying to puzzle me out. I could only guess what was going through her mind. I threw her into the heat of battle well before she was ready, and now I was doing everything possible to prevent that. The switch was probably throwing her completely. She'd learn though.

Finally, the dark corridors opened out into low walkways suspended over the ground. The primes wouldn't emerge out here, but there was the danger of Colossus and Wheel knows what. We marched. Dell was beginning to sag once more, the energy draining from her. However, my concern was concentrated on the lack of geth in the area. I had noticed it once we emerged, but all that surrounded us was smoking piles of machinery...what was going on? Dell didn't seem to have noticed this, the concentration required for keeping her face straight was evident by the sweat dropping from her chin. I masked my concern with that of alertness. I could only frown with the other salarians as we slowly approached the colony. I concluded that Shepard had passed by here, which made my concern grew. I had wanted to get Dell back before Shepard was here, so I could smuggle her away from the Normandy...however that plan seemed to be on the brink of failure if Shepard was already here.

"Where is everyone?" Dell asked suddenly. I blinked, my thoughts stolen from me as I turned her words in my head. I frowned. What did she mean? I listened. This close to the colony...it was silent. I glanced to the rest of the team, they had noticed the quiet as well. Maybe we could sneak Dell aboard...We proceeded with caution.

That was when we spotted the colonists, lying still on the ground surrounded by bullet ridden corpses of some warped creature. I checked the colonists. All but one were alive, the other had a bullet through the heart. The living ones were unconscious, and there was the distinct smell of grenade explosive, however the humans were mostly unharmed. What caused this, I wondered. No doubt I would get the answer from an STG report later on.

Working our way into the colony itself, all was still. A large metal piece of wreckage had been lifted, now hanging in the air. The colonists were still on the dusty ground, again most alive aside from one or two who seemed to be accidental hits. Dell frowned, trying to puzzle everything out, but in her state, I doubted her ability to process much. We walked along the north of the colony, to which I spotted a staircase under the wreckage. Something told me there was something odd down there, something that may have explained some of the colonists' strange antics. I wouldn't know for a while, though. Dell was my priority right now.

Speaking of which, she seemed to be growing weaker again, realising the danger had passed. The Locust was heavy in her hand, her steps heavy as she forced herself upright. She only had another few minutes left in her. We neared the end of the colony, where we would change path away from the Normandy to head to our ship. It was now or never.

"Endellion," she glanced to me, her head barely shifting. "I have a proposition for you," she groaned.

"If it has anything to do with you launching grenades at me, forget it,"

"But that was the best bit!" I exclaimed with far too much humour. She managed a weakened glare. "No, no. I would...like you to come with us," Dell's eyes widened, her brain processes not that slow to not realise my words. She halted.

"Y-You want me to...Mat'al, no, I-I can't,"

"What is stopping you?" I asked curiously. She waited for my circling words, but when nothing came she shuffled uncomfortably.

"I-I..w-well...I-I have other commitments. I-I have a contract with the Alliance...Shepard's on an important mission, he might need my expertise," I crossed my arms, hardly impressed. Dell faltered slightly.

"Endellion, staying with Shepard is not healthy for your development," she stared, her expression frozen. I sighed, how to explain it? "I have read extensively on Shepard, both as he became a Spectre and while you were clambering around the ruins. I was not impressed," Dell collected herself, her gaze flicking to the other salarians as they departed. They would be nearby, just in case.

"He's a war hero-"

"And he fusses with you, most of the crew does," she winced as if hit. "I do not doubt his military bravado and skills, what I do doubt his is ability to see your growth. Shepard is...let us say 'paragon' when it comes to the crew, but have you seen him in action when someone steps on his toes? He is not a man you can be friendly with once he becomes hostile towards you. And I doubt that personality will last if you begin butting heads with him,"

"What are you trying to say, Mat'al? Just spit it out," to the point, just as I suspected her to be.

"You are Shepard will begin to grind on each others nerves from here on out, maybe you noticed some tension with the rest of the crew already," I watched her keep her face straight, the effort that was required to do it. So my suspicions were correct, some people were beginning to annoy her. "Can you honestly say that after this, you'll want Shepard to keep you wrapped up in a bubble? He isn't a flexible man, Dell, it would take him weeks before he is used to the idea of you becoming more independent of his help in a fight. He loves people staring up at him like some kind of walking hero or God, rubs his ego the right way," Dell blinked slowly, trying to collect herself.

"I'm really thinking you are psychic or something..." I chuckled softly.

"No, I'm just very good at reading people's thoughts through their body language," she frowned severely, nearly a glare. I grinned.

"Mat'al, as right as you are...I still have commitments," she sighed, running a hand through her flame coloured hair, the bun on the back of her head beginning to fall apart. "I have...issues I need to sort out before I do anything and..." her voice vanished as she disappeared into thoughts. What was going through her head, I had no idea. She finally glanced up at me. "I'll...think about it," she sighed. "But I don't abandon tasks I've started. Once Shepard's mission with Saren is done...then, maybe," I clicked my tongue quietly. Not the answer I wanted but...

"As you wish," I activated my omni-tool, already adding my details to her own. She didn't even look at the omni-tool as the purple hologram flared on her arm. "I'll be in touch. I want you to keep up your training though," she managed a small smile.

"No promises,"

"Endellion," I began with utmost seriousness. The smile slipped. "I am serious. You'll never improve if you don't put the effort in," she gave me a sad look before sighing in defeat.

"Alright," she answered. I had to accept that, noticing the colonists were beginning to wake.

"Good, that includes gun training, getting back into your gymnastics, getting your climbing abilities back up to snuff – those will be very handy in the future, and try to harden your nerves. They are the main problem you have to deal with,"

"I'm trying...but nothing so far is working," she rolled her shoulder, swaying.

"You'll find something, just keep it up," I began moving after the team, I paused at her side. "You did well, Dell. You have great potential...but Shepard will not help with that. Try not to fight with him too much, but don't let him walk over you either. Any trouble, give me a call," she studied me for a time, before nodding slowly. I returned the gesture, walking up some stairs and rubble to reach our ship.

I didn't let her out my sight, however, until she limped her way onto the Normandy.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! Really helps encourage me on ^.^

* * *

I stood before Shepard, the tall man staring down at me with judgemental eyes. It had only been half a day, but take long for someone to tell him that I had only been on board a mere 15 minutes more than he. I stood, bandages around my torso, my body aching, exhaustion back within the dark recesses of my body thanks to a nap, Locust at my hip. I stood and stared at his sky blue eyes, body quaking with the nerves nipping at my heels. I stood with the knowledge of what I had endured, of what I could have had had I chosen to go with Mat'al...

I stood and waited for him to crash down upon me.

He didn't disappoint.

"Endellion, I have no words to describe how I am feeling right now. You promised me, _promised_ me that you would return to the Normandy at the slightest hint of trouble. Why did you not leave when the colonists bean acting strangely? You of all people normally pick up people's changes in behaviour better than most,"

I remained silent. Shepard popped his jaw.

"And where did you get that gun? I've never seen anything like it, did you find it while you were doing God knows what?" I took a slow breath in. Shepard waited with aggravation.

"Shepard," I began slowly, shoving back the nerves as best as I could. "I was presented with an opportunity to grow as a person, I had a chance to prove to myself – to everyone – that I am not as defenceless as you all seem to think I am. I wanted to try. I'm sorry I broke your promise, but I am not sorry for what I did," Each word was forced, several times I had to speak harshly to stop Shepard speaking above me.

Mat'al would be proud. After all, he had been correct on many things.

"You are not a soldier, Endellion," Shepard breathed through his teeth for a time. I remained silent as he regained his composure.

"Well I think she did bloody good," Wrex voiced. I smiled slightly at the krogan, his voice of confidence helped me calm myself a bit. Shepard glared at him, turning that stare to me.

"So you think you're a soldier, huh?" he asked, his tone forcibly light. I shuffled my weight slightly. How to proceed with this? I didn't want to make him angrier, but I didn't want to back down. I had been shot at, grenades thrown at me, kicked and shoved...and that was from a friendly. I imagined the geth around me, guns pointed at my chest, their robotic clicking bouncing off stone walls. I imagined a red laser trained on a geth head, the Locust straight in my hand.

"I am what Liara is," I managed. "Liara fights, but is she a soldier?" It was Shepard's turn to be silent. He regarded me with inflexible eyes. I managed to hold myself with only the barest of quivers. Liara scowled at Shepard over my head.

"She wants to help," she voiced. "I do not see why you should deny her that,"

"There is a slight difference between her and yourself, Liara," Shepard scowled, but there wasn't enough heat in his voice to be taken too seriously. The asari crossed her arms. Garrus was studying me with silent eyes. I wondered how he felt about this. Turian expressions were always so difficult. His mandibles were still, so he wasn't overly worried-

"Alright, Dell," I snapped my gaze back to Shepard, surprised. "You want to help? You'll be joining Liara, Wrex and I on Noveria," My eyes widened, all my control vanished in a heartbeat.

"N-Noveria? B-But I c-can't-"

"Weren't you just saying that you wanted a chance to prove you aren't defenceless? Why the hesitation?"

"S-Shepard, Noveria i-is a special case-"

"How so? What makes Noveria so special compared to all the other missions?" I felt my anger shimmer below my skin, it rattled me, shook me. I couldn't control my voice much longer. My time with Mat'al had put my normally tolerable nature on hold.

"I promised Val I wouldn't step foot on Noveria!" I snapped

"Oh, so a turian you've barely met is held in higher regard than I?" Shepard answered harshly. I opened my mouth to argue, but no words formed. The horror of what I said was biting my ass so hard I wanted to cringe. Shepard's words cut deep. If only because of how true they were. My gaze found the floor, fists shaking at my sides, nails creating grooves in my palm. Shepard nodded his head slightly, expression of of near disgust.

"Two days, Shaik, then I want you suited up. Dismissed," the final word snapped like a bull whip. I _did_ wince at that. I managed to do a shambled excuse of a salute before near sprinting out of the CIC. My fist slammed on the button to open the door, Shepard's gaze boring holes more painful that the bullet wounds into my back. I dashed down the stairs, ignoring the way my muscles ached and complained. I managed to walk into the med bay, managing some kind of smile to Dr. Chakwas before slipping into the lab.

I locked the door.

And then I broke down in tears, slipping down the door to the floor.

It was the one of the few times I had properly cried since waking in this world. My stifled sobs were simply so Chakwas wouldn't investigate. I sat there, head skywards as the tears soaked my cheeks and my chest ached with each hiccup. Sorry ribs, but there was only so much I could take. I soaked the back of my hands in my tears in a desperate attempt to be rid of them, but nothing was working well for me. More slipped from my eyes just as quickly as I brushed them away. I crawled to my desk, grabbing a tissue from the tabletop. I curled up beside my chair as I tried to cry my frustrations away.

I couldn't win, could I? I hurt someone, I had to hurt someone else to make it up to the first person. Karma was a huge bitch, and it was out for my blood. I had finally proven to myself, more than anything, that I _could_ shoot a gun, that I _could_ help people if I needed to. I should've gone with Mat'al. I should've taken his offer on the spot. I should've...I should've...

I didn't even know any more. I hauled myself onto the chair, my cheeks raw from all the rubbing. I hung my head over the old maps of some planet I didn't even care to remember the name of. They weren't even Feros maps, and I had no intention of sending the last 3 reports I had finished to Keplar. He could fry his ass, as far as I was concerned right now.

I eventually eased the tears away, still feeling horrible inside. I had no idea what to do. Do I call Val and try to explain to him? What would he think? Should I call Mat'al and say I've reconsidered, come save me? He probably would as well. I covered my eyes with a hand, leaning into the heel heavily. It was a lose-lose situation. While Mat'al could save me from this, what would happen with my relationship with the rest of the crew? I still cared about them...

I decided to call Val. Maybe he could say I could go if I explained it well enough to not worry him...

Getting in contact with the turian was no easy feat. His replies to his emails was slow due to his long military shifts, and by the time he answered them, I could already be on Noveria. So I had to do something that had my biting my nails.

"Kabalim Arvenus Provertus speaking, Turian Cabal Division," the silver-sheened turian on the monitor responded, the black markings on his face a stark contrast to the rest of him. I took a deep breath.

"Good evening, I-I am trying to get in contact with Cabal Valérien Autillin. He gave me this number to contact him if an emergency came up," I lied. I had looked this number up on the extranet. Thank God for forums! The turian cocked a brow plate. "H-he said he might be in the middle of a war zone if I tried to contact him directly," that bit was only a half-truth...maybe Mat'al rubbed off on me more than I thought. The turian studied me for a moment, before slowly typing away at a computer before him.

"Cabal Autillin is indeed in service, Miss. Is this such an emergency that it cannot wait?" the turian intertwined his fingers, leaning his chin on them.

"I-I'm afraid this needs the resolved within the next day. I-I wouldn't call i-if it wasn't a real emergency," the turian seemed to sigh, but it more of a reaction than a specificity annoyed or angry one. He typed away once more. I stood in silence as I waited nervously. This was the first time I would speak to Val face-to-face since the Citadel. It was only now that I knew how little about him I actually knew...

"Cabal Autillin's kabalim is currently getting in contact with him. Please hold, this may take some time,"

"You have my gratitude, sir,"

"Who should I say wishes to speak with him?"

"Endellion Shaik," the turian nodded, already relaying the information along. I danced on my feet nervously as the screen disappeared and the turian Cabal division symbol lit up the monitor. I pulled my chair over, carefully put myself in it. There was no way to know how long this would take.

I was surprised by the nerves clawing at me. I had trusted Val with some very personal information, he had given me his share too. So why was I scared? I groaned. One step at a time. I stared at the screen. Part of me hoped the turian would come back on and tell me Val was unavailable. But he had to know, I wasn't about to break two promises in a week!...I was going to break two promises in a week, wasn't I? God dammit it all...

I was sitting for 20 minutes before the hold symbol vanished. My heart jumped into overdrive before the screen flashed. Valérien sat before me, light years away, with mud spattering his copper plates and blue blood dripping from left mandible. He looked tired, by the way his shoulders were slumped. I couldn't read his expression at all. My heart wouldn't stop beating out of my chest. Val was silent as he took me in; the bandages peeking under my uniform collar, the plasters on my face, even the Locust on my hip – which wasn't going anywhere.

"Do I dare ask what happened?"

"Crash course gone wrong," I managed a small smile. "Or...well, technically right but it went a bit pear-shaped at times," Dammit, I had to push these nerves down! Valérien fell still, once again studying me quietly. I shuffled slightly.

"I don't even know what a pear is," he scowled. "But it doesn't sound nice...command said there was an emergency?" I took a slow breath. How to say it? Should I slowly explain or just blurt it out? I sighed softly.

"Shepard is assigning me as part of the team for Noveria," I watched Val's shoulders bristle. But he was still. _That _threw me completely. He had been so adamant the last time I saw him, always pointed out about how dangerous it was...why was he not bursting out? Val's extremely careful intake of breath delivered my answer.

He was trying to control himself.

"Why?" he asked, his voice strained.

"Because...we had a fight. I-It wasn't anyone on the crew who taught me my crash course...so Shepard doesn't know what I can do. He...H-he wasn't impressed and...well," I run a hand through my hair. "He told me to do the Noveria mission...I'm not being given a choice," Val nearly threw himself into the back of the chair, drumming his fingers on his arm. His silence was impossible to read...

"What kind of gun is that?" he asked suddenly. I jumped. I pulled the Locust out, letting him see it. "A Kassa Fabrication M-12 Locust? How the hell did you get that...no, no, don't even tell me," he ran a hand down his face plates. "It's a good gun for you,"

"Y-Yeah, doesn't kick up like yours,"

"Hmm, the M-9 Tempest can be...temperamental," he managed a vague smile. "Just be careful, that accuracy doesn't come cheap. The Locust is infamous for it's low damage. Get the headshots in though, and you'll begin to bring that back up," We fell into silence, Val was still drumming his fingers on his green armour. "Any other weapons?"

"What? Oh, I got this," I flicked out the omni-blade, the purple blade arcing past my arm. "And this," I swapped to the bow. I stared when I realised it was similar to a recurve bow, rather than a crossbow. I had to physically pull back the holographic string, just like in real archery...I snapped out of my daze. Val wasn't going to wait around. "And some other tools; incinerate, cryo blast, a combat drone as well. Need to come up with a name for it..." I gave him a brave smile. My nerves were settling down now. See? I just needed time.

"You sound like an engineer class...only without the AI-hacking and Overload, which is odd," he frowned. "I can't help with the hacking but..." he pulled out his omni-tool, clicking away at it. My omni-tool flashed and I stared as a new icon appeared on my weapon and tool list. It looked like lightning radiating from a ball. "Overload is too useful not to have. It shuts down shields and damages synthetics, causes flamethrowers and other explosive containers to...well, explode and can stun some organics for a time," I glanced up to Val, giving him sad eyes.

"I thought you didn't want me to go to Noveria?" Valérien sighed heavily, leaning on the table before him.

"You're commander says you're going, so you have to go, regardless of what I want," he folded his hands into each other. "If I had my way, you would have a small army at your back going in there. The place is a nasty piece of work, especially for someone as inexperienced as you. You need your back watched at all times to survive there,"

"Then tell me information that can help me, please," I pleaded softly. The turian required no such begging.

"Noveria is a frozen world. It isn't colonised in the way you think, most of it is research labs for dangerous and or controversial experiments or research that can't be done elsewhere due to restrictions. The experiments and rumours that come out of that place...well, we can only speculate. Very few secrets escape Noveria,"

"What happens on Noveria, stays in Noveria," I altered the oh so famous quote. Val grinned. Must've heard it as well.

"Precisely. Maybe now you can see why I don't want you on the spirits-forsaken planet," He sighed softly. "Corruption runs deep in that place, even if you don't see it,"

"I'm sure everywhere is like that, I'm not oblivious to that sort of thing. My father was in politics,"

"Ah, apologises," he seemed to flush for a moment before he controlled himself. I grinned as his neck turned a purplish colour. It was strange to remember his blood was blue, not red. Wonder if his plates turned purple or blue if he blushed heavily? He ran from the topic, quickly latching onto anything. "What about a pistol, have you got one of those?" I blinked.

"Still have my Predator II,"

"Two? You're _still _only on two? Spirits, Dell, most people use the seven now," I glared slightly, face glowing red.

"I apologise if keeping my guns upgraded wasn't exactly important until now..." I grumbled quietly. Val laughed, making me scowl softly. His mandibles flared slightly, lips turned upwards. He was completely and totally mocking me...bastard.

"I'll send you something, don't worry,"

"Can you do that?"

"Trust me, to upgrade you from that? It'll cost the same as a sandwich at this point," I squeaked in insult, making the turian burst out laughing. "What the hell was that?" I glared as ferociously as possible, but he just laughed harder. Now my face was flushing scarlet. "I'll _never _understand you humans. Oh the sounds you make..."

"Very funny, you overgrown cockatoo!" I tried to get my flush under control, but there was no saving it. Although, the cockatoo bit made him pause, stare at me with great suspicion.

"What's a...cockatoo?" he asked carefully. I saw an opportunity, I wasn't sure what but he didn't know that. I fluttered my eyebrows suggestively. My immediate giggles were pointed at the purplish-blue hue his cheeks were stained in. "W-Wait, t-this isn't fair– w-wha was all that about? What's a bloody cock...Spirits damn you," he hid his face in his hands, seeing a hidden innuendo that I had never intended. My giggles evolved into full belts of laughter. Oh it felt good to see the tide turn! Oh my own face was still bright red, but at least I wasn't alone with it! Val had much better control of himself. Within a few minutes, he had managed to beat his flush down.

"Serves you right," I stuck my tongue out. Val scoffed lightly.

"Try not to get frostbite on Noveria," he grumbled sarcastically. I frowned before failing to keep the straight face. I laughed. I felt slightly better now, despite Shepard...ah balls. What was I going to do until Noveria?

"So...you're ok with me going to Noveria?" I verified. Val snorted.

"No...but I don't exactly have a choice," he sighed. "Is that geologist still giving you hassle too?" I groaned loudly.

"Yes, but I've taken to ignoring him. I've got his bloody reports...and he ain't getting a word of it. I'm too sore to give a damn about him just now," Val grinned, nearly proudly.

"So where did this backbone come from, hmm?" I paused. "Last time I saw you, you were screaming in blind terror," I flushed. I didn't need to remember that day...

"Blame the freaking salarian, I do," I cursed softly. It was Valérien's turn to frown.

"Salarian? There's a salarian on your ship?" He shuffled his weight. I flailed my arms, giving up.

"It's too long to explain!" I exclaimed. I pouted slightly. "Even Shepard doesn't know..." Val's brow plates flicked up in surprise. "Please, don't even ask..."

"Dell, this is impor-" he suddenly turned from the screen. "Ah, yes sir. Well, something has come up sir and-...but sir...," he sighed. "Aye, aye," he stood up and saluted. He was still for a moment. He scowled at the screen. "That's my time up...we're not finished, Dell," I rolled my eyes.

"Of course we aren't. Nothing is ever simple,"

"Dell, sometimes you have to fight to get what you need, because you never get it by waiting or begging," I blinked. "We'll talk soon. I've got another few months yet but... I'll see about meeting up at the Citadel or something," I nodded, slowly.

"Sure, I'll speak to you soon. Please be careful,"

"Only if you will," Val smiled slightly before the signal cut. I was left staring at a blank screen, neither feeling better or worse from the exchange. Noveria was going to be a hell of a trip, my gut was telling me.


	14. Chapter 14

I shuffled nervously at the airlock of the Normandy. My purple armour had been a write off, so to speak, so I was now prancing around in a light armoured red and black suit. 'Light Colossus' armour I was told. At least I wouldn't get lost in the snow... I touched the new pistol at my hip, to put my mind at ease that it was still there. Val's package had arrived earlier today, express delivery. The M-5 Phalanx was heavier than the Predator, but it packed a heck of a punch. Of course, the Locust was chained to my hip. You would have to kill me to tear this away from me.

"Approach control, this is the SSV Normandy. Requesting a vector and a berth," Joker's voice broke from the cockpit. I glanced around Wrex to Shepard's back by Joker's chair.

"_Normandy, your arrival was not scheduled. Our defence grid is armed and tracking you. State your business," _the voice crackled from the other end. I shuddered. Terror slowly creeping up on me. They would...actually shoot us out the sky? Val hadn't been joking...

"Citadel business. We've got a Council Spectre aboard," Joker answered calmly. There was a moment of pause on the other end.

"_Landing access granted. Normandy. Be advised, we will be conforming identification on arrival. If confirmation cannot be established, your vessel will be impounded," _Joker rolled his eyes.

"What a fun bunch, I think I'll take my next leave here," Shepard shook his head as he approached the airlock.

That turned my attention to the team around me. Shepard moved to the front, tall and ready. Wrex towered beside me while Liara waited with calm nerves and a positive aura. I wasn't sure how best to deal with this. I didn't have Mat'al to help kick my ass with a bullet or grenade, and I doubt Shepard would be willing to dip into those extremes. Then there was the added business of organics; could I shoot them? Geth were one thing, but actual, bleeding people? I guess I was about to find out...

With the opening of the airlock, we broke out onto the planet's surface. I shuddered softly. The snow was blowing in from the open hanger, and the cold was only pushed back by my armour's weather protection. The grey walls and walkway only added to the cold, no colour to the place at all. I followed the team around the corner of the walkway, leading to a small room near the nose of the Normandy. A party of three waited to greet us, two human females and a turian. A dark haired female held up her hand as we approached.

"That's far enough," she commanded. Shepard fell still, eyes hard. He glanced to the team for a moment.

"We're not here to cause problems," he assured. The woman remained rigid.

"This is an unscheduled arrival. I need your credentials," again, straight to the point. I frowned. Just doing her job, I assured myself. Her attentive eyes didn't hold any anger, any disgust. Yep, simply doing her job. I relaxed slightly.

"I'm a Spectre. My name is John Shepard," The short haired blonde woman beside the first snorted.

"Load of horsecrap, ma'am," she scoffed. I felt my hackles rise slightly. Surely news of the human Spectre had travelled...surely...The dark haired woman was more reasonable.

"We will need to confirm that," she stated to her colleague. But she turned back to us. "Also, I must advise you that firearms are no permitted on Noveria," Wait...what? My hand itched for the Locust. She turned to her colleague again. "Sergeant Stirling, secure their weapons,"

Stirling barely stood a chance.

She had taken a single step, and in that time Wrex, Shepard and I all had guns raised and ready. Liara held a blue aura around her as she readied biotics. I don't know what was going through my mind, but I was fast on the draw. She wanted to take this gun from me? Then she had better hope she puts up more of a fight than the geth, I growled through my teeth. Fear still snapped at my heels, the source of my protective rage. Mat'al may have made me more combat competent, but he had barely scratched the surface when it came to settling my fears down. Stirling and the turian guard on the other side of the dark haired female pointed weapons back. There was a tense stare down as each side regarded each other.

"Don't try it," Wrex grumbled. I agreed, although it was mostly because I wanted as little bloodshed as possible. That seemed to kick start Shepard. He lowered his pistol. I frowned. What was he doing?

"Let's not start a fight," he said more to Wrex than us. The krogan scoffed.

"And why not?" he questioned. He never got his answer due to an interruption from the intercom.

"_Captain Matsuo! Stand down. We confirmed their identity. Spectres are authorised to carry weapons here, Captain," _Matsuo backed down immediately, the rest of their team lowering weapons.

"You may proceed, Spectre. I hope the rest of your visit will be less confrontational," I saw Wrex lower his gun and Liara dropped the biotics. I reluctantly put my Locust up as well. "Parasini-san will meet you upstairs," I blinked. So she was Japanese. Hmm, I figured she was Asian from her eye shape. Stirling regarded us with a guarded look.

"Behave yourself," she warned. The greeting party split, granting us permission to continue on our way. I was eager to be moving. The cold was getting a touch ridiculous. I eagerly followed Shepard through the doors, smiling at the warmth as it hit me. Wrex was still grumbling, something about losing a chance to fight. Liara tried to calm the krogan, assuring him there will be plenty to fight later. I had nothing to say on the matter. We climbed a set of stairs by a water feature. I jumped when an alarm rang out.

"Weapons detectors. Don't mind the alarms," I turned to face a dark toned female with her dark hair tied in a bun. Her fuchsia coloured dress a sprinkle of colour that this place badly needed. She greeted as at the desk.

"I am Gianna Parasini, assistant to Administrator Anoleis. We apologise for the incident in the docking bay," Shepard nodded his head.

"I appreciate the help," he answered.

"You're welcome. You understand that our security staff was only doing her job," Well, duh, even I saw that! "One of my duties in orientation of new arrivals. Do you have any questions?" she asked. I wondered how Shepard would proceed with this. I was just glad he was doing the talking.

Shepard asked his questions, about the level of security for the size of the port and then gently probing for possible links to Saren or geth. As we thought, Gianna confirmed that Matriarch Benezia, Liara's mother and Saren's second-in-command, had visited the planet, was still on the planet, technically. She was in a complex in the mountains. And we would have to jump through some hoops to find her. We had to speak with the administrator first, to get permission to leave. I doubted it would be so simple.

When we met the salarian in his office, my fears were confirmed.

We asked our questions, and he answered them politely enough, if quickly, as if we couldn't get out fast enough. Saren was apparently a major backer of Binary Helix, whatever that was. Benezia had arrived with cargo, 'large, heavy and sealed', and apparently weapon free. None of us believed that. And she had arrived with commandos, they didn't sound pleasant either. But once we got onto actually getting to Benezia...

"I'm afraid that you cannot. Peak 15 is a private facility in the Skadi Mountains. Regardless, there is a blizzard in the area. Shuttles are grounded and surface access has been cut off," We had the Mako, few things other than Shepard's driving or sheer cliffs could stop that. Shepard tried to press for access, even reminding him that he was Spectre. But this salarian was a business man, and protecting his clients was blatantly obvious. I understood his position. I also understood his adamant approach to getting Shepard to shut up and leave him alone to his work. Anoleis wouldn't give us access. We left more than disgruntled, though I had seen it coming a mile away.

"Mr. Anoleis isn't the only one with a pass to leave Hanshan," Gianna hinted as we passed. That caught our attention. We approached her cautiously, as if playing with fire. I couldn't blame anyone for that, not after all the resistance we have met so far on this trip already. "You've never worked in the corporate world, have you, Commander? You can't bludgeon through bureaucracy," Again, it seemed so obvious to me. Or maybe that was my corporate mother and her stories talking...

"So it would seem. I need an alternative," Gianna dropped her voice.

"Talk to Lorik Qui'in. You should he able to find him at the hotel bar. Can't say more. Not within earshot of Mr. Anoleis," she whispered under her breath. I frowned. Oh yeah, there was something fishy about this girl...Shepard asked a few more questions, but I was itching to leave. The sooner I got off his this planet, the happier I would be. I nearly skipped in joy at getting away from that salarian and his precious office. Personally, I would have found out what was needed to prove access, find out where they were stored and either trick or distract the man while I swiped one. Bribing was also possible, he seemed to have a mind intent on income. A few thousand to tens of thousands of credits would have done the trick...would have garmented his silence as well. All possibilities, if I was trying to do what Shepard was doing.

But no, we did the long way, bloody way!

Apparently, the turian, Lorik Qui'in, was worried about his office being ransacked while he sat in the hotel bar, unable to stop Anoleis' goons from plundering his files and office under the guise of it being an 'investigation'. The guards there were being bribed to shake the place down. I frowned. It was something my father had first hand experience in...only the 'guards' very quickly realised they were caught when my uncle stepped in. No one crossed their own police wanted his data back, data that proved that Anoleis was dirty. Val _really_ hadn't been joking about the corruption here...

Upon arrival in his office, I knew there would be a fire fight coming soon. Shepard was able to talk his way around the first guard, snorting at their story of the investigation and pointing out there were there illegally. He mildly threatened with Captain Matsuo as well, asking if she knew I was there. They female guard vanished soon after, not wanting to be caught in any cross fire. Once gone, Shepard pulled his rifle out. I sighed as I popped the Locust out, the sound deafened by Wrex's shotgun. And then more guards descended on us, guns blazing.

I took cover behind a crate, checking the clip on my Locust as I gathered myself. It only took a few heartbeats, but it felt like an eternity. Could I do this? Could I put a bullet into a living creature?Eventually, I poked out of cover and lined a turian in my sights. Everything in me faltered. Did he have a family? A lover waiting for him to return? Was he a murderer or a bandit? I would never know the answer to these questions. He raised his gun and aimed at me.

I swore I heard a sniper reload from behind me.

I fired. An automatic response. I winced as the turian fell, yelling in agony. I had shot him in the chest, not a kill shot. His screaming bore into me, driving every sane thought from my mind. In my desperation to gather myself, I decided to be merciful and released a few more into the head. I shuddered intensely. I tried to ignore the blood but...well, geth were much easier to fight than people, despite the blood being a different colour. He was my only target, after all with Wrex around you had to be fast if you wanted to do any damage to took me a few moments, but I eventually removed myself from my cover to follow the rest of the part onwards. We carefully moved around the room, ignoring the fancy water features cascading down in small pools around the walls. I dived behind a wall when I felt my shields wiggle from a bullet. Wrex took care of them, blessedly, with a well aimed shotgun. I took a deep breath as I attempted to steadied my nerves.

Deep breaths, Dell. This is no different than on Feros...

It was easier than I was making it out to be, to be fair. I had been worried that without Mat'al I would be scared once more and cower. But it seemed as though my training with him had hardened me slightly, at least for this type of situation. I still struggled to talk to strangers. My personal demons still hunted me at every turn, but at least I could be in a gun fight and not freak out...most of the time. I released a hail of bullets as another guard fired at me. I winced as I heard the shields fizzle. I threw an incinerate, just trying to make sure I didn't get any more bullet wounds.I cringed at the resulting screaming. This would take a long, long time to get used to.I sighed in relief when Liara called the all clear. I kept the Locust out, but I rejoined the group as they continued to Lorik's office. Shepard caught my gaze from the corner of his eye. I couldn't read it, once more, left in the dark.

But the trouble didn't end with us downloading the data from his computer. Upon leaving the office, a small party waited for us down the hall, barricading our exit.

"I don't think you're supposed to in here, Shepard," Stirling told us, walking towards us. I winced. I knew I didn't like her for a reason. We were simply trying to get out, and here was more people in the way looking to get shot. I recognised her, but Shepard seemed to have forgotten completely.

"You have me at a disadvantage, Miss...?"

"Oh, _now_ you're going to show some respect?" I snorted, loud enough for her to glare at me. I stood a step back, nerves smashing me in the face. I kept close to the krogan. "I'm Sergeant Kaira Stirling, Elanus Risk Control Services. Anoleis would throw you offworld for what you did here," I flinched again. Please don't remind me... "I won't. You know what we did to cop killers on my world?" On Earth? Prison? Trial? I swallowed hard. I decided to open my mouth but no words formed. My nerves had once again straggled my voice. Dammit!

"Oh really? You're here off-duty, breaking the law for bribe money!" Liara snorted softly. Cool and collected, Liara was, while I still had a large portion of Wrex between me and Stirling. The woman before us glared at us. Shepard cut in.

"I didn't want to fight them. They fired first,"

"Well I don't need a gun to rip you to pieces," she snarled. Wrex grabbed me, helped me dive into cover as the guns came back out.

I was better prepared this time. It didn't make any easier though, not with the blood. Maybe I should have told Shepard about how blood made me queasy, after all I was trained to study rocks. They most they bled was oil if they were rich enough in it. The Locust's dampened noise canceller made pathetic 'pew pew' sounds compared to the earth shattering roar of the shotgun beside me. But when it was 4-on-3, then the odds were always in our favour. When the last body fell, I slowly crept out from behind the half-wall containing plants as Shepard checked the fallen bodies. He nodded.

"Let's move out," he commanded. I eagerly followed, if just to get away from the blood. We walked into the fancy elevator to take us back down to the main lobby. Shepard glanced to me as we waited. "You are doing...better than I thought you would," I blinked. I managed a small smile.

"Thanks, Shepard..." he nodded slowly, as though heavily reluctant to accept it. I just smiled in the silence until the doors open.

But, sadly, the teeth of Noveria once again bared.

Gianna was waiting for us at the hotel where Lorik Qu'in was. She pulled Shepard aside, speaking privately across the room. She seemed to trying to convince him to do something...what, I couldn't hear, but I did try. I failed, of course. I wish I had the enhanced senses of the turians. Shepard seemed resistant, but he eventually seemed to agree to whatever the dark haired woman proposed. Shepard carefully made his way over to Lorik Qui'in.

"What is going on...?"Wrex grumbled.

"I'm not sure...maybe Gianna wants Lorik Qui'in's data?" Liara suggested. I frowned, silent. It was difficult to judge from here. Lorik seemed annoyed, Shepard was pressing him hard though. Eventually, the turian seemed to sigh and wave a hand in dismissal. Shepard nodded, leaving the grumbling turian in peace. Everyone gave Shepard expecting looks.

"Gianna wants to use Lorik's evidence to arrest Anoleis. She'll give us a Garage pass when we get back to the office," I frowned, but the ever sharp-eyed soldier caught it. "She's an undercover investigator, looking into corruption on Noveria," I snorted laughter. She must have a full time job, if that was the case. Shepard failed to see why I was so amused, but he didn't seem to want to press it too much. He was just eager to actually get to Peak 15, where Benezia was enclosed.

I grinned in satisfaction as the thin woman hauled the salarian away later that day.

But, we finally managed to get a pass, granting us access to continue our quest, as it were. The large room we entered was filled with tanks and crates. Chains dangled from the ceiling like broken banners and containers clung to the walls. The Mako waited near a large door on the opposite side of the room. We could finally get this mission done and over with!

Then I heard the clicking of geth.

I had never been so happy in my life. The joy was bursting out of me when the first geth revealed itself from behind a crate. It raised it's rifle as others began to join it. Wrex laughed merrily, finally gearing up for a good fight. Liara was taking cover behind some crates, a biotic aura encasing her. Shepard had dived behind a vehicle, assault rifle ready. Myself?

I dived behind some cover, already checking the clip on the Locust before open fire. The geth wailed in complaint before I managed to shoot the head off. I eventually swapped to the pistol, to properly test it. The kickback was more than I expected, nearly landing me flat on my ass. I did ogle as the geth complained about a large hole in its shoulder. Another carefully aimed bullet, and another shock that rattled my arms and staggered me back a bit, popped the head clean off. Now I understood what Val had meant about the Locust's damage. Another bullet, combined with Wrex's shotgun, took out a destroyer. Liara held a stalker dangling in the air, making me smile in amusement. Shepard took it out with his sniper.

I reloaded the pistol as the last geth dropped. Liara was already moving towards the Mako, and I had no intentions of sitting around here either. I bounded over the box clumsily, nearly face planting with the concrete floor, to join her. Matsuo all but sprinted into the room, demanding what was going on. Upon seeing the geth, her face melted into horror. We didn't want to hang around. Shepard and Wrex were hot on our heels as we made a break for the Mako. I clambered inside the cramped interior after Liara, waiting nervously as Wrex piled in after Shepard. Shepard started the Mako up and was flying out the door before Matsuo could get any answers to her questions. I relaxed slightly, despite the blizzard ruining my chance for a view.

Geth, I could handle. Organics would take time though.


	15. Chapter 15

With the wind howling, the blizzard blinding, the geth clicking and the Mako's cannon's rattling the entire frame with each blast, it was safe to assume I was in more than a rattled state. I had expected some problems – since when had anything gone smoothly? – but this...taking Shepard's driving out of the equation improved the situation somewhat but I still had the fact we were in the middle of no where, large geth armaments firing at us and large cannons hidden in the mountains adding to everything that was driving me insane.

With Wrex on the cannon, Shepard driving and Liara controlling navigation, I was sitting around looking pretty...pretty terrified. I was hanging onto the harness holding me against the seat in terror as we took another sharp swerve. The bumping was either the terrain or Shepard running over a bloody geth. My opinion was the latter, I doubted the road was _this_ bumpy.

"Are we nearly there?" I asked Liara as my head smashed itself into part of the harness. I cursed in pain, making Wrex laugh at me. Liara gave Wrex a scowl before smiling at me.

"Almost, a few more minutes," she assured me as I rubbed my head.

"Why, problem?" Shepard asked casually. I paused as I stared at his back. I tried to casually voice about his bad driving, but at this point, I was strapped in and he wasn't. I didn't want to risk him getting angry at me while I fumbled with the harness. Well, that and the nerves surfaced, panicking over the 'what-ifs'.

"N-No, just wondering," I gave a fake smile, but Shepard wouldn't see it. But just as Liara said, a few more minutes and the Mako stopped. I sighed in relief as Liara helped pull me free. I gave her a slight smile.

"Thanks. Don't know what I'd do without you," Liara grinned.

"You would be stuck here to suffer with Shepard's driving again," I shuddered. I couldn't help it, but after this, I never wanted to be the passenger in a vehicle Shepard drove. Liara laughed as I slipped my helmet on. I stumbled out the Mako, following Wrex's large frame as we approached a building.

I took that moment to stare over the blizzard coated region. Had it been a similar situation when Shepard, Garrus and Kaiden had found me, all those months ago? Had a blizzard been howling above my frozen head as I lay curled in a small hole in the snow? I mused softly over myself, the then and now. How naïve, how frightful of everything I was. Well, no improvement on the last one, I frowned, but I still recalled the terror of how my future would shape. Now? Well, I didn't see myself willing walk into a lab most likely filled with things trying to shoot me.

Nor did I foresee Valérien, the turian who saved my life, a complete stranger. He proved to me that despite the uncertainty of the universe, the cruelty of people, the differences between species, there was still people out there willing to put their own safety on the line for others. He showed me it was ok to trust people, that you weren't alone. Someone was bound to help you at some point. Mat'al, well, he was a completely different kettle of fish. He pushed what Val showed me to the limits. He betrayed me in more ways than one yet...yet he pushed and dragged me to become better than I was, to evolve. He held my back when I couldn't, he taught me when people were beginning to give up on me, he used methods that not only worked with me, but were strong enough to leave a lasting impression on everything I saw. Mat'al was my teacher, a friend, as much as he stretched that word. That bloody salarian did everything possible to throw me in harms way, then drag me out the frying pan when I felt like I didn't have the strength to continue.

"Endellion," Liara summoned. I blinked rapidly, dragged from my thoughts. I turned to face the asari, holding the door open. "Is something wrong?" I jumped, I managed a small laugh.

"N-No, no. Just...thinking," I took one more glance to the frozen landscape, ignoring the black smoke that filtered faintly into the sky. I eventually made my legs move, entering the building filled with God knows what.

The opening room was empty, a large room for a vehicle to park. But the large door to our left was the only way through. Upon opening the door, it revealed a small army; krogan and geth. Shepard and Wrex moved into the room, taking up cover behind crates. Liara and I used the frames of the massive door as cover. At that point, I wished I was competent with a sniper rifle. My Locust, accurate as it was, was nigh on useless at this range. In the end, the omni-bow was used. I took out several flying drones, even managed to hit a krogan, but it was only my steady hand and my experience in archery that actually allowed me to hit anything. The krogan was still alive, still fighting...until it met with Wrex. I winced at the sounds echoing from that region of the room. Liara shoved a geth destroyer across the room, smashing it into another krogan. The resulting explosion finished this round.

"_User alert. All Peak 15 facilities have suffered a great deal of damage. Biohazard materials present throughout facility. Virtual intelligence user interface offline,"_ a female, nearly monotone voice echoed around the room. I frowned. What the hell was that?

"Looks like the reactors are down, we need to get them back online," Liara frowned over a panel she had found. She turned to Shepard. "Up this way,"

We didn't get a chance to explore the massive room. Shepard led us up some stairs to a gangway to the left of the room. After breaking his way into a crate and pillaging the weapons inside, we doubled back on ourselves, just about, had a door not been around the corner. We proceeded with caution. The door revealed a corridor with two turrets, facing _towards_ the lab. Wrex frowned.

"What's with the turrets? Not even trying to stop people walking in," Liara gave him an emotionless smile.

"They want to keep their people in as much as they want to keep others out,"

"Seems like a retarded way to do it," I grumbled softly. Shepard remained silent as we moved into a small room. After hacking another cupboard like object, we moved towards an elevator. The trip up was silent, and upon hitting the next floor, it was evident that this place was no longer secure against the elements. Snow coated the floor and walls, thick front clung to the ceiling, a window to the left gave a brief glimpse of the outside.

And the next room?

"More geth," Wrex smirked, cocking the shotgun. I took careful breaths as I found a large column to hide behind while the bullets flew. I decided to let my combat drone have some action, watching with amusement as the little round ball floated towards a pile of geth and gave them the equivalent of a static shock. The geth sounded so annoyed, I nearly managed to laugh had I not stifled it. It didn't take long, there were only four of them of them, but it was what piled out of the woodwork later that gave all of us a surprise.

We heard rattling from the ventilation shafts, at first we thought wild animals, then possibly wind. But a loud cry from the floor above revealed some sort of insect like creature, and it looked pissed. They walked on four legs, with another two near the head that acted as small arms. Large tentacles with small pods on the end that opened like flowers, flowed from the sides. They cries they made...I shivered. Wrex snarled.

"Are these what I think they are..." he grumbled, holding his shotgun with a firm grip. We could only spare him a glance before they were upon us.

I hammered as many bullets into them as possible, but they were fast, and they released tiny green bugs that scurried up to you and exploded. I yelled when one snuck up behind me, covering me in a green gloop that sent my armour sizzling. I shielded my eyes, flailing wildly as the exploded insect burned my skin. By the time I had recovered, Liara was beside me, a biotic shield around us both. I managed to release another clip of bullets, but the majority of them had been taken out. But then a few more burst out from the vents on the floor as we explored the area. I was shaking with the gun in my hand by the time all fell silent.

"What are these things?" Shepard asked, voice strained. Wrex snorted.

"They look like...rachni. But we wiped them out," Wrex cursed harshly as he checked his gun. "We need to find out what is going on in here,"

"Agreed," Shepard nodded. "Move out,"

And we did just that. The next corridor led us to another elevator, again, taking us up. I didn't like these narrow corridors or their sharp bends. Too many hazards and not enough to hide behind. But the room opened up into some sort of hub room, once again, filled with bugs. We were able to take cover, but these aggressive buggers popped up from everywhere. I was more aware of the smaller ones. The larger ones were being taken care of by Wrex and Shepard, leaving the baby bugs with Liara and I. Liara's biotics saved me on more than one occasion during that fight. I took a slow breath as the fight winded down. We took a chance to look around us.

"This looks like a backup power system. Perhaps it's for the station mainframe. Looks like it could be repaired as well,"

"Then maybe we can get some answers," Wrex grumbled. The VI's voice handily told us that the user interface was offline, and that a manual reboot was needed to proceed. So we carefully made out way to the physical mainframe. Shepard stared at the elevator doing down into the machine. He nodded to us.

"Stay here, I'll be as quick as I can," I watched as Shepard stepped on the circular plate, disappearing down into the depths of the computer.

We were left watching his back in case any more bugs came through. I paced nervously as the minutes grew. We could hear Shepard cursing softly as he tried to figure out the mainframe boot system. It couldn't be that complicated? But then, I didn't know how the reboot systems worked here. Back in my time, all it took was to turn it off then back on again. This was taking too long for that to be a solution. Eventually, a surge of power rippled through the entire facility, highlighting Shepard's achievement. I sighed in relief as he emerged from the core.

"Well that was more hassle than was needed," Shepard grumbled. "Let's find a hub and see what's going on," I made a sound of agreement. We made our way back into the hub room, trying to find a VI interface.

And then my life took its next wild flip.

A rachni, since that was the only name we had for them right now, exploded from a vent by my feet. But instead of attacking me...the long tentacles grabbed my ankles, dragging me down the vent. My scream echoing off the metallic walls drowned out the cries from the team. I was left, arms flailing above my head as a bug dragged me down the cramped space. I kicked wildly, but these things were stronger than they looked. It was screaming at me, making the most horrible of sounds that nearly burst my eardrums. It was a struggle to pull one of my hands down to my waist, gritting my teeth as it turned me and yanked me like a rag doll. Eventually, I grabbed the pistol. I emptied the entire clip into its head, trying to stop my head splitting over the screaming cries.

Eventually it fell limp, and I lost the only thing stopping me from free falling down the vertical vent.

I let another scream loose as I tumbled helplessly down, eventually crashing through a roof vent and smashing into the ground. I felt my arm twist, heard several snaps around my body. And the pain was sharp, enough to release another cry from me. I lay there, dazed, making pained sounds as I rolled onto my back. My healing rib was broken again, and my arm was on fire. This was why I wanted to be a scientist!

I couldn't hear Shepard or the team, I had no idea if they were attempting to follow me, or trying to find me via the network of corridors and elevators. With great reluctance and panic, I realised I couldn't lie here long, if more rachni came...I forced myself to my feet, so thankful that they were only stinging like hell than broken. My left arm was useless, no omni-blade or bow for me. Then I realised with horror I had also lost most of my tools. No incinerate, no combat drone. Everything was on that arm. I tried to change the arms, move the bracelet to my right, but the agony was enough to force me to stop. I stood there, swaying, dismayed, at the condition of my situation.

I was so, completely and utterly dead.

The ventilation shaft rattled slightly, a faint clicking sounded the insects. I limp-ran down the corridor, choosing a random direction. My left arm was useless at my side, sending waves of pain with each movement it made. I staggered at a door, waiting with agony for it open. I tumbled through into a short corridor. I sat on the ground, chest heaving. The effort required to move was incredible, and the pain that radiated from most of my body...I grit my teeth, glared through the tears as I picked myself up once more.

I couldn't die here. I had so many things left to do...to meet Val once more, to take up Mat'al's offer as his student, to punch Keplar in the face. Well, maybe not to much the last one unless I was pissed off. It kept me going though. I still had to find out how I got here, I still had to get enough money to get my own place, to find a safer job – although with Mat'al that would prove difficult – on a quiet planet or maybe even on a safer zone of the Citadel. I still had to return back to Earth. I frowned at that though. I still had to return home...Kinlochleven had...well, according to Udina, it didn't exist any more. It had been surrounded by mountains, landslips were common but...I sighed. I had to see the place for myself. If nothing remained there, then maybe in my mother's manor, outside of Ventry, Southern Ireland. I simply had too much I _had _to see before I kicked the bucket.

Sadly, I was going to have to fight for it.

I ran across two geth, wounded as I was, I was shoved back as I tried to take them out. The pistol was good, but with only one hand to take the kick-back, I was left sore after a few bullets. One geth eventually tumbled, but the other approached unafraid. That was the one downside to geth, they weren't afraid of you. I had a few lovely bullet wounds after the shields collapsed to add the injury list by the time I shot the final geth down. By this point, I was in a helluva state. Now I just wandered, only partially conscious of what was occurring around me.

What had I been thinking? I was no soldier, I could barely take a paper cut without crying. And yet here I was, taking bullet wounds and falls by the dozen. Part of me now regretted helping Mat'al, but the other part of me was happy for the freedom I had been granted. I could fight, with experience and time that is. If I survived this, I was taking up Mat'al's offer. He had worked his ass off to make sure I was safe, how else could I surprise him after my sarcastic comment? While I doubted his training would be lovely, it wouldn't be too life-threatening.

Especially after this trip. I also reminded myself to never step foot upon a frozen world again. Nothing good had ever come out of it. Xawin? I found myself 170 years in the future. Noveria? I was nearly eaten, or was going to be eaten, by very hungry insects or shot by geth. Ice worlds had a poor record with me as it stood, and I wouldn't be all that surprised if I grew a phobia of the damn things either. I'd welcome it, actually, since that would mean I had survived this trip long enough to develop a phobia!

I ran across another rachni, and killing it was one of the hardest fights I had ever done. The pistol was powerful, but with a sore arm it was hard to aim. The thing was on me before I had pumped half a clip into it. So I was flat on my back, flailing under this massive creature as it tried to rip me apart. At least this close I couldn't miss. With the rest of the clip emptied into the insect, it collapsed on me, making my damaged ribs cry out. It took most of my strength to shove the thing off me, even more to crawl to a wall to prop myself up on. I sat there for a time, staring longingly at the twisting corridors for Shepard or someone to appear.

But no one would.

The last struggle I faced was one of blinding terror, the ultimate kick to the face. I had hauled myself back to my feet, staggered down the rest of the corridors. It eventually opened out into a large room with walkways around the edges. A large tank with an even larger rachni was held in the middle. I stared around the room, horror slowly dawning on me as I considered the possibilities open to me. In the room were a multitude of asari, wearing dark, very thin armour. All had guns aimed at me. Behind them, by the large rachni, an older asari stood, contemplating me in her black dress and strange black headdress. And behind them? Geth. And they weren't shooting the asari. That brought me to my conclusion.

I was entirely and perfectly fucked...

"And what do we have here?" the older asari I knew would be named Benezia summoned casually. I was frozen to the spot, locked in the doorway I had entered from. The asari commandos, for they could be nothing else, kept hard eyes on me at all times. Benezia strolled towards them, away from the rachni. "A scientist who strayed too far from their base? Or security scouting for damage?" She paused just beside the commandos. "I don't believe you are either, human,"

My voice was paralysed in my throat.

"You...are one of Commander Shepard's team. Yes, I recall your face upon the Feros reports. Always two steps behind, aren't you?" Shit...oh shit, what do I do? "Shepard must be near," she turned to the geth. "Go and find him, stall him for as long as you can, kill him if you can," she told them with utter confidence. Some of the geth left, a handful remained behind. I managed to take a step backwards, but several bullets slammed into my shields an instant later.

I turned and ran.

Or, well I tried to, had Benezia not picked me up and hauled my sorry ass inside with her biotics. I managed to clench my teeth together to stop my crying out when I was slammed against a wall, but I couldn't stop the tears falling. The matriarch approached me slowly, tone dead, empty.

"Where is your commander?" she quietly demanded of me. I managed a pained wheezing sound. Was she going to torture me? Could I withstand it? "Answer the question, girl, if you do not want your corpse to be a warning to him," My terror surprised my will.

"I-I don't k-know. I-I got s-separated!" I managed to exclaim with a restricted voice. Great, that was a fantastic start! Her biotics were powerful, crushing me without physically touching me. Benezia was quiet for a time.

"Then Shepard is not as near as I thought. Then perhaps I shall have time to gather the information that Saren could use..." she _was_ going to torture me. Oh God...The asari dragged me to her eye level, literally millimetres away. "Shepard wishes to stop us, what does he know?" I shuddered.

"I-I don't know," I answered truthfully. Shepard really didn't inform me much on the details, I never asked. The asari was far from impressed, judging from the sudden lack in the ability to breath. "I-I swear, I-I do-don't know!" I wheezed. Panic rose, the thought of death passed through my thoughts more than once. My back began to tingle, a warm tingle that radiated around my body. I thought it was fear but...

"If you do not possess the answer then you are no longer use...ful," she suddenly seemed highly distracted. Her eyes narrowed, studying my eyes with curiosity. I had no idea what was going on...Her eyes widened slightly. "You're..." Something inside me, along my spine, shuddered, sending me twitching like a fit. The asari dropped me, the biotic field abandoning me to the crash landing. What the hell was going on? "You're a Saboteur...why have you not...your Shell must be..."

What. The. Hell. Was. Going. On?!

I stared up at Benezia, eyes wide. She was nonsensical, nothing she said rang any bells for me, nor triggered anything. She was studying me intently, the commandos lowering their weapons as the regarded me with neutral expressions. Benezia straightened her frame. What was she planning? I wasn't sure I wanted to know, but I sure as heck wasn't in any physical ability to do anything about it. The old asari turned to the remaining geth.

"Take her to Saren, to Sovereign," she frowned at me, her only expression since I had met her. "He will know what has happened..." They were...no no no no no! The geth approached me, I shuffled away, trying to head to a door, trying to get back on my feet. My strength was gone but terror drove me onwards. When a geth grabbed my uninjured arm, I struggled.

"Let me go!" I yelled automatically, reaching for a gun. The geth clicked, as if confused, turning to Benezia.

"It is the Shell, do what you must, but do not destroy it," she ordered firmly. That was the last thing I heard before a rifle butt ended all conscious thought. I tumbled into darkness with terror clawing at every cavity in my mind and soul.


	16. Chapter 16

Edit 27/10/13: Due to my being up at my grans and forgetting my external hard disc cable, **t****here will be no update this Tuesday**. Apologies, however there is little I can do until I go home on Friday afternoon. Re-writing may be possible, however I was half-way through writing it. I will try however the above date cancellation still stands until I know for sure.

A/N: Well, I was struggling with this chapter a little. I had to try and make physical sense but still try and make my plan work. I hoped I have succeeded. Only one way to find out! Also, head over to my profile, I've got links to some images I've done and also some interesting info on the characters so far! Really appreciate the reviews ^.^

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Cold. Hot. Pain. Relief. Terror. Calm.

I was all of these yet none. And that terrified me more than the fact I could barely move or I was struggling to open my eyes. I was in the fight for my life, but I could see no foe, nor did I have the strength to move let alone fight. What was happening to me? Where was I? Why was I so weak? So many questions, and I doubted I would get an answer. A sour heat burned every injured part of me; broken bones, bruises, cuts, burns. I was in agony but...but it was like the pain wasn't reaching me, like it was distant.

I had no idea what I was saying any more.

"Benezia is dead," a flanging voice sounded above my head. "Hardly surprising, she fulfilled her purpose. But what to do with her?" it mused.

"_Advocacy remains here,"_ a deep, monotone, robotic voice roared. Well, it sounded like it was judging by the way my head nearly exploded in pain. _"Organics are fragile. The Saboteurs are not so dissimilar,"_

"But Sovereign-"

"_This exchange is over, Saren. Leave. Advocacy awakens. The connection must be re-established. Organics only complicate the process,"_

"And Virmire?"

"_A course has been set. You will go to Virmire, you will do what needs to be done. The cycle must continue,"_

"Of course, Sovereign. As you wish," the sounds of footfalls disappeared with the distance.

I was trying to shake in terror. Saren? Sovereign? I was on Saren's ship? The ship could _talk_? What the hell was going on? I continued the fight to open my eyes, after many minutes of failure, I finally managed to open one. I stared up at a tall ceiling, the angles it was shaped in hurt my eye, seemed to drive many sane thoughts from my mind. I struggled to turn my head, something heavy was pinning me in place and I needed to know what. I stared at the sight before me, letting my mind process the information. Horror punched me in the gut as a scream tried to rip from my frozen throat. My other eye popped open, and the full scale of what lay before me struck me like a freight train.

Cables and wires had slipped under my skin, sliding through the interior of my body. Circuitry, coloured brilliant cyan, radiated along my skin where the cables entered, or in one case that I could see, exited. I was on the verge of hyperventilation as I tried to force myself to sit up, to yank myself free from the wires. My head was yanked back, confirming there was one locked to my skull. A small sound did escape my voice then.

The adrenaline gave me strength. I fought my way up, hoisting myself into a sitting position as the wires tried to pin me back down. I managed to grab one of the wires, tried to yank it free. The pain that ran around my body blinded me. When the white spots vanished from my sights, I stared a cable hovering before me, small wires dancing their way to my face. I tried to scream, to fling myself backwards, but the cable latched onto my forehead. I felt the wires wriggle their way through my skull, and terror made me scream, finally able to find my voice.

"_Enough, Nazara,"_ A somewhat feminine voice inside my head demanded. Robotic, monotone, but my head nearly split open from it. Every muscle froze, only my eyes continued to twitch. _"Agitating the Shell does nothing but make it fight harder,"_

"_Nyryntha, your aid is needed. The Keepers have not responded. I cannot wait for your Shell to ready itself,"_

"_I am aware of this. The Protheans were always a nuisance. However, this Shell conflicts me at every turn. It fights, this cools the fusion generators and the mass effect generators have barely turned. What of Raheem, Macaulay?"_

"_Raheem's Shell was destroyed. Macaulay is currently twisting the batarians. He cannot aid,"_

"_And the other Saboteurs?"_

"_You are the last to confirm status. All others are ready or destroyed. Harbinger demands action. The cycle has stalled,"_

As silence stretched out between them, I could finally think. Every time the one named 'Nyryntha' spoke, my entire body seemed to shut down. I had no control of it. I heaved myself into a comfortable sitting position, contemplating yanking on the cable latched to my forehead in defiance, in terror. Eventually, the masses of wires around me loosened enough to allow my current position, no longer fighting to yank me down again. I had to get answers, I told my terrified self as I stared at the nest of huge cables surrounding me. I felt like a chick, and the ship was my very angry, very strict mother. It would have been comical had I any idea what was going on, and I wasn't breaking down in terror.

"What's going on?" I managed, my voice quivering upon each word. "Where am I? W-What's happening to me?" That last question was fought out, but I had to ask it. The cables rippled, making me flash wild eyes in their direction. One slipped into my left arm, already filled with God knows how many, and I felt my broken arm snap back into place. I cried out from the noise, but the pain...the pain never came. I could almost hear the cybernetics knitting my bone together. The silence was nerve rattling. I was beginning to doubt whatever had been speaking heard me.

"_Your Saboteur is underdeveloped,"_ Sovereign...Nazara, whatever its name was, commented.

"_It would not be had that turian and salarian not intervened. The fusion generators were nearly at peak, but it evolved past its protocols, fighting the program. Then the salarian trained it, again developing beyond the controls and walls set in place. I need to reprogram. This Shell is adapting too quickly for the current code to be used,"_

"What the hell are you talking about!" I exclaimed. Sovereign made a sound of annoyance.

"_Be still, Shell. You are a mere speck of an annoyance compared to the rest of the problematic issues at hand,"_ I shrank away in fear. I had to get some answers out of this situation...I had to! I had no idea what was going on and I was split from the rest of the team...I was defenceless! I may have sounded insane yelling into space, at a ship and an apparent voice in my head...

"A-Answer m-my questions an-and I'll sit still, please," How I had been able to say that, I have no idea. The silence stretched. They weren't going to answer, were they? I swallowed hard as the cables moved, I even winced when I felt something shift in my chest.

"_You are a Saboteur, a shell created to meld into the organics society, to monitor and undermine them as we prepare for their coming destruction. Your sole purpose is to house, what the Protheans named us, a 'Reaper' and upon arrival for the cycle to continue, the shell is consumed and we emerge in full form," _Sovereign answered...I stared at the harsh angles, the deformed corners of the room until my head nearly burst. That made no sense!

"A-Aside from breaking every law of physics and biology, I believe there is an issue on scale," I pointed out. My voice only managed the smallest quiver. I was so sure I was right on this!

"_Your body is small, yes, but during creation, fusion and mass effect generators were implanted into several parts of the body. The fusion generators create the base elements needed to re-create enough of our parts to allow seamless amalgamation. The mass effect generators give mass to these particles, allowing plating, wires, all that is necessary, to form,"_ Nyryntha answered. With no tone, it was difficult to judge anything by her words. Once my head cleared of the blinding headache, I opened my mouth.

"B-But t-that still d-doesn't make any s-sense! I-I'm a walking fusion bomb?" The thought horrified me. One wrong bullet, one stray projectile, and I would most likely explode in a fiery ball of hell. But...But everything I had been taught about fusion was that atoms created through this already had mass...why did you need a mass effect generator to add mass to them? Unless of course it was to try and speed up production or...or maybe it was to change the atoms into something else, make an iron particle heavier, denser. Who knows what formed a Reaper's skin? "W-Why am I not m-melting?"

"_Organics never cease with the questions,"_ Sovereign would have sighed had be been organic.

"_Agreed. Shell, you have a single question left. After which, you will be silent. Your vocals are an unwanted distraction,"_ Nyryntha informed me. One question? But I had so many! How had they created me? Where was I? What was their plan with me? How could I stop them? Ok, scratch that one, they would never answer that. What about my memories? Were they fake? Where were these generators located? How many were there? Why were they using organics as sleeper agents? So many more questions...and I only got one? I stared around the room, wincing at the strange angles. I suppose...there was only really one question I could ask, one that would make or break me...

"What...What am I? Am I human?" The last word was a struggle to say. If I wasn't even human...

"_You are 94.42% organic, human as you say. The remaining 5.58% is that of our technology. By some organic standards, you are more human than some,"_ Nyryntha answered. I hated that monotone voice but... I was still human...

Thank God, some actual good news!

"_Now remain still, Shell,"_ And that was all that was said to me.

So I did just that. I submitted. I lay back down on the massive coils of cable, watching blue neon lights glow and colour the room in a blue hue. The two Reapers seemed to communicate silently now, unwilling to make me open my mouth once more. Eventually, the cables that were buried under my skin slipped free, and I realised to my pleasant horror that they had been healing my injuries. What would have taken weeks had taken hours...dammit, I wanted nothing to do with these machines!

So I was essentially a Reaper. Well, not really, but part of me was made of Reaper tech at least... I wasn't sure how, I wasn't even sure where this Nyryntha was stored inside me. I still didn't understand what they meant when it came to me becoming a Reaper. I imagined large legs like Sovereign's growing out my body, my organic shell peeling apart as the generators inside me formed the Reaper. I didn't even know if that was happened, but the image was overpowering. I winced, nearly burrowing among the coils just to hide from the thought, as counter-intuitive as that was.

As the hours passed, Saren re-entered the room. I could feel Sovereign's annoyance, the cables vibrated. Don't ask me how I translated that into irritation. I stared at the turian, the rogue Spectre, and the terror that had ebbed returned in full flood. He reminded me of a husk somewhat, the way he glowed around his mouth, the cables stuck to the back of his head and all around his body, his electronic blue eyes... His side fringes extended well past his head, completely different to Valérien's. Val's were normal looking and were actually a touch short by turian standards. His silver sheered skin gleamed blue from the room.

"Sovereign, everything on Virmire is ready for arrival. We will have the location of the Conduit soon,"

"_Acceptable. We are 2.43hours from landing. Prepare your army. Do not fail me,"_

"Of course, Sovereign," he nearly bowed. Saren turned his eyes to me, staring upon me with interest. "You are awake, Saboteur," he commented. I jumped slightly, shuffling slightly, _away_ from him. The turian seemed to find this of great amusement.

"W-Where are my guns? M-My omni-tool?" I tried to sound forceful, like Shepard, but it sounded like I was pleading...I just about was at this point.

"You understand that due to...your complications, you cannot be trusted with such things. They will be destroyed in due time," A surprising volume of rage consumed me, turning everything before me red. I have no idea where that anger was summoned from, nor did I think I wanted to know. The red haze had consumed every thought, twisting them into violent, bloody images.

"Destroy them," I whispered with nothing short of acidic venom, "And I will kill you, with my bare hands!" The sentimental value of those items! They were priceless to me!

"_And this is why I have failed to control this Shell,"_ Nyryntha noted, although I would have said she was amused by the prospect of me hurting this turian. Sovereign was all but silent, but I felt the ripple of the cables around me. I had no idea what to make of those.

"_You will leave the Shell's possessions intact, Saren,"_ Sovereign ordered simply. Saren frowned, confused.

"Of course, Sovereign, as you say," he turned his gaze to me, almost with hatred, but it was evolving. Like something was turning him, telling him to...ah shit.

"You're indoctrinated..." Indoctrination was the twisting of an organic mind to willingly serve the Reapers, do their bidding. I doubted I had much to worry about, though. I held my suspicions about if the indoctrinated servants could actually hurt something that housed one of their leaders...Saren straightened, as if he was insulted.

"I am not! I am too useful using my free will-"

"And you believe that?" My voice quivered. "These things are machines, they don't care about things like that! They could force you to do anything they want and you would think you were still making those decisions yourself. That's the entire principle of indoctrination!" Why was I trying to help him exactly? He had been behind the attacks on a human colony, on the monstrous things I had seen on Feros, Therum, Noveria. But...if he had been indoctrinated...maybe it hadn't been his will. Or maybe I was just too good for my own good.

"They may be machines, but they are far, far older than we. They know how organics work-"

"If they knew that then I wouldn't be such a thorn in Nyryntha's side!" Saren blinked, as if seeing through a haze. It only lasted a moment though, his gaze levelled once more.

"You are a Saboteur...you were always different," I frowned. Just what did he mean by that? But I knew I wasn't getting an answer to that, either, for a long time. I fell silent, moving back. There was no point. Inside of Sovereign, there was no way I could break Saren free. If it was even possible to break free from it...

"_Leave, Saren._ Sovereign ordered suddenly. The turian jumped, surprised.

"Yes, of course, Sovereign," not another word, and he was out the room. I was still frowning, still wondering what the heck was going on, if there was something I could do to help...I doubted it. I sighed softly, slumping against a massive cable, nearly as tall as I was. Everything was going to hell...

Hmm, just like when I first appeared here, huh?

I spent the rest of the flight to Virmire in silence, staring at the coils to prevent a headache busting my skull like a champagne bottle. I thought of what I had been told, what little I actually knew. What could I do about it? Could Nyryntha read my thoughts? Probably could...nothing occurred, so there was no way to be sure. Bloody machines. And that's what they were. Machines. I chewed my lip. Perhaps I could try and figure out where all these generators were, then I could try and shut them down-

A tingle of pain radiated across my body. I shuddered violently.

Ok, yeah, Nyryntha was perfectly aware of my thoughts.

Well, with that question answered, I was left with very few options to consider in my fear ridden state. And more questions. How could I combat something that not only could give me physical pain but also hear my thoughts? Could my very presence indoctrinate people? God, I had to find a way to stop this! There must be a way but...I was just one girl fighting a hyper-advanced machine. My thoughts turned to a possible one-way trip into the nearest star.

_That_ was my fail-safe.

And once again, I was rewarded with pain. I winced, shutting my eyes as I waited for the wave to pass. I breathed slowly. I had to get off this ship. Away from Nyryntha and her painful reminders... and that reminded me, I frowned, why did Nyryntha only start annoying me now? What had stopped her in the past? I couldn't even imagine what had happened. I blamed Sovereign, was always going to blame him for this problem and everything related to it. But back to my plan to get out of Sovereign.

As it turned out, I didn't need to worry too much about that.

"Saboteur," Saren summoned. I glanced to him as he entered the room for a third time, weary, afraid. His smile gave me anything but comfort. "You are to come with me,"

"Why?"

"If Sovereign wanted you to know that, you would have been informed. Now come," _Now_ I was terrified. What was going to happen to me? What were they going to do to me? I quaked as Saren approached, noticing that I had turtled up in the coils. He all but dragged me from them, making me yell and struggle. All uselessly, mind you. Saren never raised hand nor voice, simply dragging me from the room until I walked. And even then he kept a firm grip on me.

I had to find a way to escape, to return to somewhere safe...somewhere at least familiar.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: My dad posted out my cable for my external disc, so I was able to finish this today! Hoepfully there aren't too many mistakes!

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Virmire was surprisingly pleasant, if you excluded the geth and the fact I had my hands bound with some strange blue electrical...thing. I could only meekly glare at the back of Saren's head as he continued through his facility, the metal walls retaining the heat from outside, leaving it humid and warm. I jumped as another krogan suddenly appeared around a corner, wandering off down a hall with an assault rifle in hands, its eyes dead, waiting. I had seen about six of them now, and none of them had any spirit, any life in them at all. It was like they were undead...

Undead krogan were slightly more terrifying than Nyryntha, to be perfectly honest.

"W-Where are we going?" I coughed out. Saren spared me a glance over his shoulder.

"Be at peace, Saboteur. Sovereign needs the location of the Conduit, he will not wait for your mindless questions!" I my nerves managed to cease my attempt to glare at him, despite my best efforts to overcome them.

I glanced to the Locust, Carnifex, Omni-tool ring and Omni-Bow bolts strapped to his waist with longing eyes, desperate to have them back in my hands. My hands itched to grab them, so I could finally regain some lost confidence and finally steady my aching nerves, although the two geth on either side of me may have something to say about me trying to arm myself. On top of which, with my hands bound behind my back I doubted I could grab them. I followed quietly, subdued. I wanted to annoy him, to try and break through the indoctrination now that Sovereign was hidden in orbit, only I had no idea how to respond to him snapping at me, and he would...so I never made a sound, begging he would ignore me.

Eventually we entered a small room with a catwalk up to a platform in the middle of the room. The geth held me at the door while Saren moved up to the upper floor. I stared at a strange, tall piece of metal, glowing green. It was all hard angles, nothing smooth to it but the planed sides as it towered to the roof of the tall room. Saren approached it, grinning. He was silent, until the pulse of energy lifted him off the ground. I stared, eyes popping out of my skull. How was he...Maybe the whole me + Reaper = Saboteur thing wasn't so far-fetched if people could hover in mid- ah, wait. Scratch that. Mass effect field. Perfectly good explanation. The whole Reaper thing was still insane. Saren landed hard after a minute or two. I listened to his panting, the flanged gasps of air a sign of his struggle. What had he seen, what where these things? Where these prothean beacons? Saren staggered to his feet, stumbling to the platform behind him, in the middle of the room.

Sovereign appeared as a tall, red hologram before us.

"I know where the Conduit is," Saren panted, barely recovered. "The planet Ilos, in the Refuge System,"

"_Good. The armies are already moving. You have yet another task to do, Saren. You must disable the Citadel defences from the Citadel Tower. This allows access for myself to manually activate the Citadel relay,"_ I stared at the scene before me as Sovereign continued to manipulate Saren. So subtle were the strings I doubted they were actually there. There was something in me whispering about them though, maybe being part Reaper gave me some sort of resistance to indoctrination, at a stretch, an immunity? I didn't know, I should've asked. But thinking on Saren, how he was helping the Reapers, how else could anyone else _want_ the end of their species if not for indoctrination?

"What of the Saboteur?" Saren asked.

"_There is a piece of our technology within this base, a cryptograph. Implant it on the Saboteur. It will begin the rewrite process,"_ Wait, what? I shuddered. There was no way in hell anyone was putting anything on me! I gave frantic glances to the geth around me, to the door at my back. I had run around geth before...Saren nodded his head.

"Of course, Sovereign," Saren answered as the hologram vanished. "Hold the Saboteur, I shall get the collect the cryptograph. I know what I seek," fear bounded through me like an excitable dog. I quivered as the geth moved. Instinct took over.

I made a break for it.

The geth clicked behind me as I spun on my heel and tore off down the outside walkway hidden behind the door at my back. I heard Saren roar at me, then order the geth to capture me. I just ran. Hands bound behind my back, there was little I could do. If I came across a door that required a code, I was screwed, if I needed to open a ventilation shaft, I was screwed, if I wanted to live, I just had to keep moving. As Mat'al said 'If you can't fight, run', and I intended to do just that.

I dashed through another door, so thankful none of these needed buttons pressed. A krogan walled off one corridor before me, so I had to make a sharp turn down a hall to evade his outreached arms. I didn't know where I was going, I was lost by the second corridor when I was dragged in here. I just had to keep going. If I stopped, I was dead, and I knew that. I bounded from hall to hall, sometimes skidding to a halt to u-turn away from an incoming assault. I earned a few more bullet wounds during my rampant escape.

But then I burst into a room, frantically kicking the button at the side of the door to lock it. Upon looking back from the red glow, I stared at a series of boxes that reminded me more of storage boxes. Only they held people. I barely noticed the rows of machines, the numerous desks and computers that lined the room in a systematic format for the people trapped in these tanks.

Krogan to be more precise, but there was something different about them. The crest that krogan had on their head was much smaller, more dome-like than flared like Wrex's, or the krogan I had seen running around here. The carapace at the back of the head was also less prominent, it didn't tower over the head. It didn't dawn on me that these were female until one spoke.

"Who are you? Another scientist?" one asked, her feminine voice strong and deep, defiant. I jumped, startled. I swallowed hard.

"W-Well, n-no but..." I heard banging at the door behind me, panicked. I searched the room frantically, trying to find something that could break these ties. I wasn't even sure how they were tied but I would find a way or so help me God! I dived behind a desk, trying to find something within easy reach to try and free myself. The female krogan, all 13 of them, watched me with curiosity. Another powerful bang at the door sent my skin flying to the ceiling. How long would that door last?

"Human," a honey-coloured crested female summoned, her voice just as powerful as the first, if a tone higher. "You...are not one of Saren's men, are you?" I glanced over at them.

"N-No, I'm not," She was quiet for a time, studying me, weighing her options.

"Free us, we can aid you," I stared at her. I had no idea how powerful a female krogan was against a male. I didn't want them getting hurt but...

"H-How?" The female nodded her head to a desk nearby.

"There is a button on that console over by that desk. It will override the locks on these cells," I really had no choice, huh? They would either back stab me horribly or save my hide. I had to make the choice, even if my gut was trying to strangle my brain to shut it up.

I leapt for the desk, searching the screen for some sort of override. The bashing at the door was becoming heavier, the door beginning to bow. I felt the sweat trickle down my brow. I slammed a foot down on a button, praying that was the right one. I was relieved when the see-through doors dropped, allowing these females to leave. I was left in awe as I watched them. They moved swiftly, moving to cabinets at the back of the room, cracking the doors open like oversized walnuts. The older females tossed out shotguns like they were chocolates, the younger ones cocking and checking the clips. Once ready, they lined up at the door, guns held in a single hand.

The slaughter that followed was almost magnificent.

I was helpless as male krogan collapsed, geth exploded and anything else just ended up dead. The females held no mercy for them, shooting them down where they stood. I began shaking in terror as the numbers dropped, knowing my turn was next. I really wished I had time to think these things though a little better! Then the pounding of shotguns ceased, and all fell still. I swallowed hard as the females turned to me. I quaked. The honey-crested female approached, shotgun pointed in the air. The other females rushed to more cabinets, yanking hoods over their crests if they could.

"You have our deepest thanks, human. It is good to see there are some in the galaxy who do not condemn krogan where they stand," I managed a weak smile.

"N-No problem," The krogan paused, studying me quietly. I shuffled under her scrutiny. "I-I'm Endellion Shaik,"

"Jorgal Raisha, a pleasure," the pale peached toned krogan answered. It took me a moment to break down her name. Wrex was 'Urdnot Wrex', so I assumed 'Jorgal' was her second name, or clan name as Wrex called it. Raisha seemed friendly enough, but I had just met her and if the females were anything like the males...

What was I talking about? The females were co-operating with each other. I had yet to see two male krogan work together that wasn't killing something. I watched the other females help each other with pulling decorative hoods over each other's heads, checking weapons and making sure no one had been hurt. Even their demeanour was softer, their personality and the way they spoke. A female approached Raisha, a hood in hand. Raisha held her hand up.

"No, Dyla. I need my head uncovered to see our foes clearly," The shale-crested female nodded, understanding immediately. Raisha turned her attention back to me. "Perhaps you can aid us once more," she reached around me. I tensed as her towering frame dwarfed me, but I felt the bindings on my hands vanish, the clattering telling me the cuffs were free. I had never been so happy.

"What do you need, Raisha?" I asked carefully. I hoped I had the krogan naming system right.

"Aid in escaping this place," I stared. "My sisters and I are unable to do this on our own. We have been severely weakened by the experiments done here, the torture they put us through," she paused for a time, collecting herself. "We need to find a ship to take us off this planet, back to _Tuchanka_,"

"I-I don't know how to fly a ship though," I stammered. Raisha chuckled softly.

"Fret not, I believe I know where we can find a pilot," Raisha turned to the females behind her. "Are we ready?"

"Yes, Raisha," A rose-crested female answered. Raisha nodded.

"Endellion, your aid would be most welcome," I gave her a nervous smile. I really was boxed in, huh? At least I wouldn't be alone...

"Well, you did help me so...I-I would shame myself if I didn't help you in return," Raisha gave me that soft pondering look again, watching my eyes. "A-Although m-my guns were taken from me...I really...need to try and get them back," The krogan before me was already nodding before I finished.

"We shall see what we can do. We need to move, young one," she turned, facing the females arming themselves up. "Gretna, any idea where Preeze is?"

"Who knows, maybe a prisoner as well. Maybe dead, who knows?" a pale cyan-crested female shrugged. I slowly followed Raisha, staying in her shadow. "I hope not, otherwise leaving may prove difficult,"

"We can only hope," Raisha agreed. She passed me a shotgun. I was already shaking my head.

"Sorry, not trained in those. I just hurt myself," I managed a small smile. "Anything...smaller?"

"I apologise, only assault rifles or shotguns,"

"No pistols?"

"Not that we can see, and not that are functional," I sighed. I raised my arm, staring at my shields meter on my wrist. It was brilliant blue, full. My mind was trapped back during my crash course, the only other time I held no firearm. Only this time there were krogan...

"Alright, just...I'll think of something," I ran a hand through my hair. I stared at the guns that remained, nothing I could use effectively. I _would _just hurt myself, and right now, I needed to be at my best. Maybe I could find a pistol lying around. One could hope, right?

So that was how I joined Raisha and her friends. We made our way through the compound, creeping silently through abandoned halls, finding no foes...yet. And during the whole process, Raisha watched me. It was unsettling. What about me held her so interested? There was no way she could know about Nyryntha, hell, if anyone not indoctrinated knew I think we would know about it, however I was left with little else to think on. I was just a relatively normal human who decided to help these female krogans.

Then I thought about how Mat'al had stared at me when I first met him, or Val when we first made eye contact.

Every time I had run into someone like that, I always knew I would have a bad run, but I would emerge like a phoenix afterwards. I made a friend to a total stranger – someone who actually disliked humans, Val later admitted – on the Citadel, and then I became more combat competent under Mat'al's carefully controlled bullets. I wondered what else there was left to change. Part of me wondered with dread at any more change, but another part was excited. Another chance to become more confident. I wasn't sure.

Eventually, we became lost in the maze of corridors, pausing in a small room to rethink our strategy. I jumped up on a counter, snuggling my backside onto the hard counter, trying to find a comfortable position. I could sit on rocks, and yet a desk proved difficult...typical. The other females muttered among themselves, working out a plan with what they had. It wasn't much, to be fair. If we could get outside, we would be golden, but we still needed to find this 'Preeze' krogan. If they were anything like Wrex, I would be in serious trouble. Krogan males were fairly possessive of females.

"Endellion," I blinked as Raisha approached, breaking away from the other females. "May I speak with you?"

"Wh-What? Oh, of course. What's on your mind, Raisha?" The krogan leaned carefully against the counter carefully. I almost half-expected to hear it creak but it remained steady.

"Forgive me is this is intrusive, however...I have noticed something odd about you," Did she know about Nyryntha? Was something just that obvious. I shuffled nervously, the fear sending shivers down my spine.

"Odd?"

"Indeed. I have been watching your body language while we were walking, when you had not been worrying about my staring. It told me you were strong, confident, sure-footed, alert. Yet...yet whenever someone speaks to you, it evolves into fear and nervousness. How so?" I shuddered, keeping my eyes dead ahead on Raisha.

"I-I just have some mild social-phobia, n-nothing else," I tried to shrug it off, but the evenness of Raisha's stare ruined any calm of it. She pondered for a moment, choosing her words.

"These guns you mentioned, the ones you wish to get back?" I frowned slightly, trying to steady my quivering. Where was she going with this? "If the person who took them was standing right here, what would you do?" My face blanked. It wasn't a question I had been expecting.

But what would I do? My mind wanted to say demand them back, however I knew it would be a quivered mess of pleading. And then Saren would laugh or yell at me. I wanted to say I would mock him, laugh at him for his foolish belief he wasn't indoctrinated, but I knew the words would die in my throat. I glanced to the other females, everyone listening in now. I faltered.

"I...I don't know," I shrugged shakily. "H-He'd probably just laugh at me regardless. I'm not armed, and he has his army of geth and krogan," I saw a sparkle in Raisha's eyes. Dread grew.

"Is that so?" she asked quietly, as if more to herself. She gently pushed herself away from the counter, began walking back to the females. She stopped though after a few paces, turned to face me. "So you would...ask nicely and hope he would return them without a fight?" I flushed violently. Part of me wondered if I could do that, but that wouldn't be a nice result in reality.

Then Raisha began laughing.

"You...you would actually ask? Why else would you flush?" her laughter was building. "I am sure if you begged he may feel sorry for you," she laughed with a sarcastic tone. Well, that sent my face brilliant red. And it wasn't long before the other females began to join her. Everything in me wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it. I was quivering violently, on the brink of tears. I gave a frantic glance to the door, realising to my horror that a female was blocking it, using my distracted eyes to move without knowing. I gave Raisha a pleading look.

"Stop it," I tried. Raisha just laughed harder, the other females becoming louder. Everything went tense, every muscle ached, my eyes stung. Anger was beginning to bubble lightly under the surface. "Raisha, stop it," Still nothing but increased laughter. Some of the females began clinging to each other for support, leaving me a shaking mess of a person. The embarrassed anger began to boil. I had no escape, no where to run from here. Normally, I would had fled by now, but anger was eating me harder than the nerves ever did.

"I said stop it, Raisha!" my voice was beginning to get louder, I was clinging to the edge of the counter top in desperation. Nothing I said made the krogan stop, and only made the situation worse. Eventually, the anger snapped some sort of trigger in me, one I knew knew existed until now. I threw myself off the counter, marched up the krogan and grabbed a handful of the decorative clothes she bore.

"I. Said. Stop. Laughing!" I all but yelled in her face.

And then silence.

I stared in horror as the cerulean eyed krogan stared at me with weighing eyes, all laughter gone. The other females watched me, silent sentinels curled around the room. A pin drop would echo in the room right now. Raisha slowly lowered her head, more threatening than anything I had ever seen in my life.

"Or else what?" she asked quietly. My body began quivering, my grip on her clothes rattled as I came back to myself. I wanted to let go, but the instant I released my grasp, her hands had pinned my arms to my side. I yelled, struggled, mind switching to combat mode. "I said, or else what, human!" Raisha snapped, her normally quiet voice deafening me. "You are just a little human, so fragile," pressure began to build on my sides, pain splashing before my eyes. Raisha grinned. "Not a thing, that is what you can do. Nothing more than a bit of entertainment before we return you to Saren," my eyes popped open, betrayal coating everything red. Anger boiled once more. She barely got another two words out.

I reared my head back, struggling.

Then I smashed every ounce of strength into headbutting her.

Raisha's grip on me released, she stumbled back. I leapt back, already making a grab for a shotgun left on the counter. I didn't care at this point, I held it one handed, glaring furiously down the barrel at the honey-crested female before me. The gun was steady in my grip. Then Raisha slowly pulled herself straight.

Then smiled.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Ok, because I feel like I'm not taking my time with these, and thus not giving me time to do a thorough proof-read/improvement read, there will be no chapter until next Saturday. It should hopefully give me a chance to write a chapter or two in advance so I have a chance to go over them. Sorry 'bout that!

However, in the meantime, I've set up a small forum so you can keep track on changes to the release schedule. You can find the link on my profile.

* * *

Ok, headbutting; not recommended under normal circumstances. Headbutting a _krogan_, however, was one of the worst things to do. I swear I heard my skull crack, the room was still swimming to the point I wasn't even sure I was aiming at Raisha. And the pain! How I wasn't making a sound was purely due to the anger rolling through me. Raisha's smile caused great dread, but the fury that had overtaken me was too powerful to be taken over by a mere drop of fear. She had been working for Saren? Then why was she locked up? Some elaborate plan? I...I just didn't...understand! Raisha began approaching, slowly, hands open at her sides.

"Be at peace, Endellion," she tried to sooth. The burning wound refused to be healed.

"You back-stabbing, lying, crap-face!" Ok, note to self, work on my swearing. Raisha seemed to ignore the shotgun, as if I wouldn't pull the trigger if I wanted to. Was she really going to test that?

"At ease, please, young one. I do not work for Saren, I simply wished to see what was needed to overcome the fear,"

"Ah fuck, you're just Mat'al in psychological form!" that was a better swear...but the truth of my words were hitting me like a brick. Raisha seemed confused for a time. I sure as hell wasn't telling her anything, but the shotgun began wavering. Not because of my resolve, but because the damn thing was heavy and holding it one handed was nigh on impossible for more than a minute or two. Raisha eventually rested her hand on the barrel of the shotgun, pushing it to point to the floor.

"I am unsure who this Mat'al is, however it sounds like they had a similar idea," I glared.

"Oh yeah? Well until you start-" no, wait, don't tell her! She might just think that is a good idea! I clamped my mouth shut and steady my heated stare at her. I didn't need two people shooting at me!

"Endellion, I understand how you feel, how can one not? However, please understand that it was necessary. You seem to be an extremely strong woman, nevertheless, fear holds you. I wished to see if I could break it's hold on you. And I did. You do not have this 'social-phobia' you claim to have. You simply fear people laughing at you, or insulting people. And I know I can help free you from that,"

"Good luck, sister," I snorted, the anger fading. My trust in her was stormy at best, but I still had to get out of here...if she didn't stab me in the back. "I've been trying to get over that for most of my life,"

"Then please, allow me," she asked politely as she carefully removed the shotgun from my shaking grasp, sheathing it at the base of her spine. "Now, Endellion, I asked you what you would do if you faced the person who took your weapons," I felt the flush appearing. "What would you _like_ to say to him, not what you actually would," I blinked, mildly side-tracked.

"Well...I would demand to have my guns back..."

"Word for word," Raisha verified. I pulled a face, wondering what she was on about. What words were running through my head?

"Um...W-Well, something along the lines of 'Saren, you indoctrinated bastard, give me back my stuff before I punch your face in'," I flushed, violent even by my standards, but I really did want to say it to him sometimes.

"Then say it, like you mean it," Raisha pushed. I gave her a scowl, I took a deep breath. I was always bad at acting, and there was no way I was going to convince this krogan I would do it when in reality I wouldn't. I tried anyway. Better to have tried than never tried at all, right?

"Saren, you prick, give my back my stuff before I kick your ass into the next century," not very convincing at all...

"Firmer, be confident. Remember, you will have a small army of krogan at your back. He will not be able to do very much to you," I sighed. That didn't exactly help. Staring down the turian and being confident required a...firm backbone. I was afraid mine was more like melted butter than anything else.

So I repeated my sentence, trying to sound firmer to make this krogan stop. She kept pushing me, demanding I pull myself together, purposely angering me to try and stiffen my nerves. But all I ended up doing was yelling at _her_ instead. Raisha fell silent, pondering once more. The other females had been quiet, silently watching as one of their own tried to turn a coward into a hero. That's what it felt like to me.

"It would appear," Raisha began, her tone soft once more. "That anger is only useful for combat. You are not afraid of me, or at the very least feel strongly about me in some form to overcome the fear, and you need to face something you fear before you can begin to become a stronger person. Let us try something else," She backed away, giving me space.

I watcher her with weary eyes, breath rushing from my lungs in great gusts of anger. I slowly leaned against the counter as the krogan eyed me again. Trying to read me, I guessed. What she saw, I doubted I would learn, but it felt much the same as Mat'al had. At the time, Mat'al's stare had annoyed me, brought out a feisty side of me I was unaware of at the time. Raisha's didn't annoy me as such, but it did make me uncomfortable. It was as if she was staring at the very fibres that made my soul, teasing apart who I was and what I stood for. That feeling was very invasive, and I my suspicions that everyone but me was psychic were beginning to feed off everything.

"Very well. Endellion, try to imagine this," I was almost swimming in my dread now. "Imagine you are facing someone you truly fear; an old class mate, a family member, Saren; anyone who you cannot stomach to speak against,"

My face blanked. There were several people I could use. Saren was the obvious choice right now, could I even stand up to him? Could I speak my mind? But then I really thought on the question. To be frank, Keplar was slightly more terrifying, mostly because he was literally untouchable. I wasn't allowed to physically harm him, I couldn't defeat him in a physiological war. He had belittled me more than a few times and covered his tracks so well that I knew I was doomed to forever live as his work pet. That feeling of hopelessness against a foe who didn't even need to lift a hand to me...that was more frightening than Saren.

"Now imagine someone you care about, someone close to your heart,"

I had a feeling I knew where this was going...I didn't like it. I sighed, began thinking. My first thought ran to Travis, my now long dead boyfriend. God, I hadn't thought about him in a long time...too busy, I guessed. I did miss him horribly, his gentle jokes, encouraging voice. I could feel my heart bubble away. But then Val's face appear before me, then Mat'al, and Garrus, Tali, Wrex, Liara, Shepard, Kaiden, Ashley...I frowned. They were all close to my heart for different reasons, and in different ways. I decided to choose Mat'al as he was one of the few people who I somewhat understood. I nodded to Raisha.

"Now, what would they say to your most feared person?" I stared. Ok, that was _not_ what I expected. I stared at Raisha, wondering if this was how it felt to stare at someone who had just grown a second head. I swallowed hard.

"I-I'm not sure..." What would Mat'al say? I frowned. "Maybe something backwards half-truth to confuse him...or maybe he'd just say it to his face..."

"Say what?" Raisha asked gently. I held her gaze for a time.

"Probably something like 'So, you like using my protégé's work as your own...no, no. nothing like that," I frowned hard, glaring at the floor. What would Mat'al say? Would he just laugh at him then shoot him? Or would he taunt him?

"If you are struggling, you may try this one. What would your closest person say to your most feared if your most feared was holding you at gunpoint?"

"Oh, that one's easy. He'd raise an eyebrow and say 'And just what are you doing?" then proceed to shoot him with his sniper...or turn invisible and run around behind him. Depends on how he's feeling. Then he'd scold me for letting myself get into that situation," Raisha smiled.

"And do you think you could mimic that?" I blinked. "If your most feared was holding your closest hostage, would you be able to respond like that?"

"What...um, possibly," I answered slowly. That was a good point though. If I was the only thing that could free my friends from someone, what would I do?

"Raisha, I apologise, but we must move," a lime-crested female informed. Raisha nodded.

"Of course, let us find Preeze,"

I was left following the females while losing myself in my thoughts. Why was Saren scary, why was Keplar scary? I knew Keplar couldn't do a damn thing to me regardless, and even if he did fire me, I had Mat'al's offer to be his student to take up. Saren? Well, being part Reaper meant he probably wouldn't kill me. Hurt me, certainly but not kill me. Could I actually stand up to him? To anyone who terrified me? I tried to fight against Shepard before Noveria but...could I?

My thoughts were interrupted by geth turning a corner.

Geth was one thing I knew I wasn't afraid of. So joyful at seeing one, under the covering fire of the shotguns and assault rifles, I bounced off the walls as I danced around them. I still held my shields, my armour was mostly intact, and the shotguns were just like Mat'al's bullets. It almost felt like home. I ignored Raisha's calls for me to fall back, but after watching me nearly clothesline a geth to the floor, her words died in her throat. Her shotgun returned to the fray.

I nearly laughed when I jumped on a geth's head and leaping away as another geth tried to shoot at me, knocking it's friend's head clean off. Mat'al had shown me how not to be afraid in battle. If I could do this, then surely I could talk someone down. Surely? I ducked behind a geth as bullets pelted into it, half-running up a wall and flipping to just about drop-kick another. My shields were taking a battering, but since I had restarted my gymnastics all those days ago, my body was very quickly reaching it's prime again, and then overtaking it. For six hours a day I flipped, spun, jumped, twirled and swung on an array of pieces; ropes, floor, crates, poles, narrow beams. Anything to try and prepare me for meeting Mat'al again for his training. I didn't want to be unprepared for that, not after sending me to run around geth as my first real combat lesson.

Then the final geth dropped to the floor, leaving me panting in the centre of a pile of wreckage. I heard my shields finally recover from the onslaught of bullets as the krogan approached. I expected ridicule.

"We appear to be approaching a prison cell, perhaps we can find Preeze here," Dyla stared up to Raisha. Raisha nodded slowly.

"We can only hope," she answered, striding past me, aiming for the doors.

The room was different to the one I found the females in. It still held the large tank like prison cells, but there was no science equipment here, just an empty room with a bundle of cells along one wall. I walked over the metal grating that made the floor, staring at salarians held within the cells. They looked up, surprised. Dyla gently jogged up to the back of the room, staring at the final few cells. Her stare to Raisha spelt bad news. I knew then that this Preeze was dead. I didn't particularly want to see a dead krogan, so I slowly approached a cell with 4 salarians inside.

You could do this, Shaik!

"Endellion Shaik," I greeted, only the barest of quivers. Deep breaths, girl. You're fine.

"Lieutenant Anthon Cerr," the dark green salarian answered slowly pushing himself to his feet. "STG," I blinked.

"So...you know Mat'al then?" Anthon stared at me for a time. "He...trained me," C'mon, Dell, pull yourself together!

"_You_ are Delern's student? I heard he finally found someone who impressed him enough but I didn't think..."

"That it would be human," I finished. Anthon nodded slowly.

"No insult intended, you must be skilled if you impressed him. Why are you here though? He last told us you were on Noveria, then he lost track of you,"

"Lost track of me?" I echoed.

"Indeed. He went to Noveria, returned more than a little bit worried," So I _hadn't_ imagined that sniper reloading!

"Well...you can tell him that I'm fine and I'll be in contact soon," I searched the door area, trying to find an unlock button or...something. Eventually I found a small keypad, hidden behind a panel. I punched random buttons, hoping for something. I nearly cheered when the doors dropped. The salarians left, eagerly reaching for panels hidden in the walls. They pulled armour and weapons from there. While the got themselves suited up, I returned to Raisha, watching her as she gave gentle eyes to the body of a male krogan.

"Leaving has just gotten more complicated..." she sighed softly. I glanced to the dead krogan, what relation he had been to the krogan, I didn't know, but I knew no one was crying because they didn't have time for it.

"We'll think of...something," I frowned. I glanced to Anthon and his team as they tried to brief themselves. I glanced to Raisha. I was just going to have to trust her. "Give me a minute," Raisha turned to watch me as I jogged over to Anthon and his team. A few of the salarians, some from other cells, glanced at me wearily.

"Lieutenant," I summoned. Anthon looked up.

"Yes, Shaik?"

"Do you or your men know how to pilot a ship?" Anthon grinned.

"Of course, most basic part of STG training," Guess I would receive that training too, one day...

"These krogan are trying to return to Tuchanka, and I'm trying to get back to the Citadel," or anywhere that wasn't here! "Can you fly us there?" Anthon studied me quietly for a time. He nodded slowly.

"If you help us escape, then you have yourself a deal," he held a hand out. I took it thirstily. I just wanted off this rock! But then my thoughts turned to the Locust, the Carnifex, the omni-tool...the bolts could be replaced, if I asked Mat'al. I took a deep breath. I realised I had to do this. There was simply no choice if I didn't want to lose them.

"I have...some business to take care of first. We'll help you out, then try and meet somewhere for pick-up," I held my breath. I didn't know how he would react. To my relief, the salarian simply nodded.

"Get us outside and we can find transport. We'll pick you up when you're ready," I nodded.

"Alright...also," I tried to control my flush. "Have you a pistol or an SMG? I'm afraid I'm running around unarmed at the moment," I blinked as a pistol was passed to me immediately. No questions asked. I took it, still trying to recover from the immediate reaction of the team.

"Sounds like Mat'al's training alright," Anthon chuckled. "Let's move out!" He called. I turned to the female krogan behind me.

"Come on! The salarians will pilot us out of here!" I called. I saw Raisha smile, a more gentle smile than before. She rallied her females, and we were following the salarians through the base.

They had omni-tools, so it much easier for them to navigate this place than we had. We turned corners, found no resistance for the most part and were making good time. I did miss the efficiency of the STG teams. They got the job done one way or another. Anthon was a talented leader, taking his team through, watching the six, making sure we were safe. Well, the krogan anyway. He seemed to trust my ability to keep myself alive. It was a welcome sensation, that level of independence. However, like most missions, a few potholes always littered the road.

We were so close to the outside, had gone as far as actually exiting the building, yet tall walls of metal kept us trapped within the compound. That was when we spotted Saren and his geth coming down off a walkway. Once my gaze locked with his, all confidence in speaking against him vanished. The indoctrinated turian stared at me, at the team around me. I could see the anger radiating off him, feel it from here. He finished his descent, stopping several tens of metres away from us, the geth held their guns up as we pointed our own back.

"I am beginning to see why Nyryntha is having such problems with you," he growled. Great, so I couldn't even count on my new found knowledge I was part Reaper any more! "I have an army preparing to attack me and you are dwindling my resources!"

Come on, Dell. Think. You have a gun, you have 13 krogan behind you, 9 salarians beside you. I tried to control myself. What could he do? Shoot me? Well, who hasn't shot at me? I held my share of bullet wounds. I had survived. Reveal I was part Reaper? Well, who actually knew about the Reapers? Who believed them? They knew Saren was insane...just about. I evened my breathing. Just try it. For God's sake, Dell, _just try it_!

"Saren," I began, listening to my voice trying to steady itself. I imagined Val at one end of the geth's gun, the threat of a bullet through the back of the head wasn't a pleasant thought. But it did help steel myself a little. "You are going to return my weapons, or I'm turning your face into my personal dance floor. Your head is certainly big enough for it!" There, only the slightest of quivers. I waited for the laugh.

To my surprise, he nearly roared in rage, drawing my Locust and aiming at me. My vision turned red. He was touching my gun. He was getting his indoctrinated filth all over my gun, a gift, a symbol of my growth. I pulled the trigger, several times. Most bounced off his shields, but a few broke through. I nailed him in the shoulder, watching him drop the Locust into the water around our feet. The geth opened fire just as shotguns and heaven knows what else, blasted my ears out.

Everyone dived for cover, Saren jumping back behind his geth as he tried to recover from the bullet wound. Well, when I say everyone, I meant everyone but me and the geth. The geth clicked in surprise when charged at them, swerving to avoid the majority of the bullets, trusting my pathetic shields to hold until I got to them. The held just long enough for me to shoot a geth's head off and use the remains of the body as a shield. The body wouldn't last long, not under this fire. I heard Raisha call out, almost sick of me being so bold, but the STG teams seemed to suspect this would happen. Another geth near me collapsed, so I rolled away from the hole ridden one to use this one instead.

I heard one of the female krogan cry out, possibly either being shot or one of them had been killed. Dammit, we were taking losses! I hated the thought of that! I rolled away again, shooting a geth until it nearly vanished in the water. That was when I felt my Locust under my shoulders mid-roll. Well, my hand was on faster than a roadrunner high on caffeine. To feel the Locust back in my grip. Well, my confidence was back, bounding and ready to take on some geth.

Then the krogan appeared.

I was dancing around geth when one tried to charge me. Thankfully, I was nimble enough to dodge the charge but get shot in the back as my shields evaporated. I winced at the wound, but my Locust was aimed at the krogan as he spun. And then a biotic blue surrounded him and he was slammed to the ground. I blinked, staring over to Raisha as the biotic hue vanished from around her. She cocked the shotgun meaningfully as a few more charged the females. I couldn't worry about her, she could handle herself. I shot another head off a geth as I charged after Saren, trying to clamber up to the walkway.

He spun on the stairs, pulling my Carnifex out to shoot me. He never even got it straight. He had used my Locust, I had been expecting the Carnifex would be next. I was already firing my Locust, wishing it held more kick to knock those shields out. He did fire the gun but with tens of bullets flying at his face, he shot wide. I rushed up the stairs, tackling him to the metal. Saren snarled as he punched me, another new pain I had to experience. One of my hands fumbled to hold one of his limbs, the other was trying to free my equipment. I heard a loud splash, the Carnifex had slipped through the stairs, but I managed to grab my omni-tool ring. My face was nearly black by the time I grabbed a handful of bolts and pushed myself off him, tumbling down the stairs and splashing in the water.

I could barely see, everything ached. I managed to blindly snap the bracelet on my wrist, but only after releasing the Locust. I was helpless as the STG team provided cover fire for me. I picked the Locust up once more, my hand trying to find the stairs. Once it felt the stairs, I crawled around them, trying to find the Carnifex. By the time I did find it, Saren had retreated from the field, going to nurse his wounds, I hoped. I slipped the pistol at my hip, the Locust soon following it. All I held were a handful of bolts and a bruised face. Something grabbed my arm, dragging me up. I struggled for a moment, before I realised the hand was long and narrow. Salarian.

"We need to move before reinforcements arrive. We lost two of the females, a salarian too," Anthon's voice rang in my ear. "Come on, human!" he urged. I stumbled after him, following his vague shape as I struggled to keep my eyes open over the swelling.

"We have a docking bay over here!" a faint salarian voice rang out. "Move!"

Everything kind of blurred after that. I remember being dragged my Anthon, my following like a drunk puppy, Raisha was at my back with the remaining females and the rest of the salarians behind them. Then I vaguely remember a ship, small, and being dragged up a ramp to get inside. The last thing I remembered before I passed out was the sound of an engine roaring, and the hard cushion of a very lumpy chair.


	19. Chapter 19

A\N: Hey everyone, sorry for the little break. I am somewhat back on track, so hopefully I won't need to take another break soon. However, keep checking in to my Starquake forum, link on my profile, for any other updates! I've also made some character discussion threads with some extra bits of information if you are interested ^.^

* * *

I was cold, shivering in the darkness that held me prisoner. That appeared to happening a lot lately. Was I back on Xawin? Back in the endless white and cold? Would it be white if I opened my eyes? The blending of the days? Actually...it was just my face that was cold. Everything else was warm, almost burning. Oh, oh this actually hurt a little bit...ah fuck, this _really_ hurt! Ah!

"I think she's awake," an amused voice sounded, male.

"It is hardly amusing, salarian," a female scolded. "She is in a great deal of pain. Now stop smiling and give the poor girl another dose of medi-gel," a heard someone scowl as I managed to pry my eyes open, staring at a bottom of a bunk above my head.

A quiet hum filled the room, the sound of an engine going FTL. I was unsure where I was, only the haziest memory of a battle with Saren, and that I escaped with my life. A cold shiver ran down my spine as the medi-gel was applied, causing me to make a small noise of complaint. Something was on my face, freezing cold. Throwing it off, and the clatter than followed, revealed it to be ice. My back burned from a bullet wound, my legs ached from all the bouncing around. In summary, I was in a sorry state.

"We'll have her back on her feet in a few hours," a second salarian assured. "The bruising has faded significantly, I forget how quickly some humans heal," I managed to clear my vision enough to stare up at someone's face, a salarian. I didn't recognise him. The red salarian glanced beside his shoulder as footfalls approached, standing and saluting. Anthon faded into my view. He carefully leaned over me, trying to give me space but still getting a good look at me in the din of the room.

"How are you feeling?" he asked. I groaned softly.

"Sore, confused. Was I out long?" I asked.

"Four days," the salarian chuckled. My eyes nearly hit the top bunk in surprise. "I informed Mat'al that we had located you, had you on board. He has been asking for daily status updates. I managed to convince him to not to put a tracker in you," I scowled softly, slowly composing myself. I hated waking up and not knowing what had happened or what was going on.

"He would suggest that, bastard," Anthon chuckled softly. I relaxed against the hard bed, wondering if I had been frozen here for 4 days straight, or if they had moved me to keep me out the way. I glanced to Anthon as he typed away on his omni-tool.

"Are we heading to the Citadel?" I asked. Anthon nodded, gaze locked to the screen on his palm.

"We are, ETA 2 days," he answered simply. We fell back into silence, the hum of the engine was nearly deafening.

I found myself backtracking on the last 24 hours. I had spoken up against someone, I had actually made a demand of someone. And, as a bonus, they didn't laugh at me. I thought to my conversations with Raisha. What had she done that had helped me finally help my nerves stiffen up. Or was it simply thinking about people I care about in danger that finally toughened me up? I didn't know. Mat'al had trained me in combat, but had failed to tackle the nervousness as an entire entity. I sighed softly. That left me with steady nerves, for the most part, in combat, but leaving me a total wreck the rest of the time. I worried that Raisha hadn't done much better.

But then again, her first question didn't have violence in it. I focused on a stray strand of string above my head. What would Mat'al say to Keplar if they ever met? What would Val say he ever met Shepard again? Both non-violent meetings, although it might end in it. In the din of the small ship, cramped with salarians and krogan, I found my answers.

Mat'al would laugh at Keplar, an easy grin, spilling the words that would make Keplar squirm. 'Well, sir, there is always the salarians, or the asari, or the turians. I heard the Volus were looking for some geologists. If Endellion's talents are not being utilised to their fullest, there are other places she could go," Mat'al would talk circles around any argument Keplar made. My contract? Only held so long as I was a member of the Normandy. My reports that I had been withholding? Well, technically they were not the required planets the Alliance demanded be scoped out, therefore I could do with those reports as I wished. It was so strange how the answer came to easily now, without a krogan breathing down my neck. But maybe it wasn't even that. Maybe I couldn't comprehend someone actually making that bloody human squeal. Having faced Saren, it now appeared more plausible.

Shepard and Val? Val was a hot-head, no stopping that. I doubt his anger would allow himself control. I saw the turian march up to the slightly smaller human, demanding answers. 'What had you been thinking? You threw her into a situation that required experienced reactions! Too many unknowns!' And that was true as well. I was tempted to make that argument myself when I next saw him. Having faced Saren down, Shepard didn't seem as...daunting. And Val wouldn't back down. No, that man needed someone to drag him away before the fists flew. I almost smiled. But what about Saren? What happened to him?

"Lieutenant?" Anthon glanced up. "Any news from Virmire? Has anything happened?"

"Funniest thing, actually," Anthon finally put that obnoxious orange billboard away. "About four hours after we left the planet, a nuclear explosion completely flattened the facility," I stared at him. "Still trying to get a firm connection with STG, I get the feeling they did something. I was taken by hostiles while scouting after all. Maybe the rest of the team finally found a way to finish that place,"

"And Saren?"

"No word, I think he escaped. He was a Spectre for a reason," Anthon frowned. I made a sound of agreement.

I slowly sat up, ducking slightly to avoid bashing my sore head against the metal slats of the bed above. The pain running down my back was dulled, but still made some sort of sound escape. There were a few things I had to do before I reached the Citadel. Firstly, I pulled my omni-tool out, blinking blindly against the bright screen for a time. I had to send Val a message, let him know that I was a) alive and b) in one piece. And it looks like I had no choice but to send him one as well. My mail box had six messages, four of which were from Val. The first was the calmest;

_Hey Dell, _

_Just a quick message to see how Noveria went. Hopefully you now see why I was so unhappy about you going there. Fingers crossed everything went well and you don't need to step foot on that blasted planet again. _

_Valérien Autillin,_

_Turian Cabal Division_

That was sent a day after Noveria. A gentle prod to see if I was ok, no doubt. Dammit, I was making him worry? The second one seemed a little more edgy, and was sent two days after the first. I was trapped in Sovereign at this point;

_Hey Dell, _

_Not sure you got my last message, wouldn't be the first time a message got lost on the extranet. Just...send me a message when you get this alright? I'll speak to you soon. _

_Val,_

Huh, not even his usual signature. That wasn't a good sign. I moved onto the next message, and it was clear he was worried at this point. Not panicking, I assumed that would be in the fourth one. But guilt did trickle down my spine like gunge. This particular message was sent a day after the last. Virmire was about a day away at this point. I never realised how many days I had been in Sovereign until I looked at a calender, about 3 or 4 days;

_Dell, _

_Is everything alright? I tried calling you but you never answered. Did I say something? Are you angry at me or something? Look I...I just want to know you're alright. You're, you're still really new to the whole soldier thing so I just want to make sure you're fine. Please answer. _

_Regards,_

_Val_

Ah balls, he was even saying 'regards' now in the hope that a proper goodbye would get me to answer. I didn't really want to open the fourth one now. But I knew I had to if I wanted to know the whole situation. The date stamp was when I was on Virmire, running around getting shot most likely;

_Dell,_

_I don't know where the fuck you are, or how Shepard lost you on Noveria, but if you are still alive – and get this message – then please, spirits, just let me know you're alive! Fuck, I'm going to _kill_ that fucking human when I get my hands on him! _

_Just...keep doing what you're doing! You survived Feros, you'll get out of this one too. Please just...stay safe!_

_Val_

It was actually...kinda sweet. I smiled. Shepard didn't stand a chance against that turian now. Bless. I guess he had called the Normandy, learned what happened and freaked out. I wonder what he said at the time? I pondered that for a time. A lot of yelling, that was the answer I got. But I still had another small problem to answer. How to answer him? Well, while it was sweet he was worried, I was also annoyed that he was worried. Dammit, I wasn't _that_ incapable of looking after myself!

At first, I wrote a large spill of text, explaining (vaguely) what had happened. But then a cynical streak weaved my words and I decided to get a little payback. I cleared the message, deleted the subject title and left it blank. In the body I wrote:

_I'm alive. _

_Calm your shit_

No name, no signature. Nothing. Let's see how he takes that. Maybe it was a bit cruel, but he didn't say he wanted specifics when I messaged him, right? I sent it, ignoring the warning that there was no subject. Right, Val was taken care of. For now. But now I needed to have a chat with Raisha. I had a few questions...Anthon watched from the corner of his eye as I carefully heaved myself to my feet.

Everything ached.

"Do you know...where Raisha is?" I managed to ask, dragging air into my sore lungs. Anthon frowned at me.

"In the next room, with the other females," he answered. "And I doubt she will be happy that you are up and about already,"

"I-I'll be fine," I gave him a brave smile before struggling through the small ship to the next room. In the cargo hold of this shuttle, I found the honey-crested krogan. Quietly speaking to her female companions, she barely glanced over at the sound of the door opening.

"We shall be on Tuchanka soon. Bakara will be relieved you are all in one piece," A few mumbled nods rang out. I carefully lowered myself on a hard crate nearby. What the krogan had been saying, I had no idea, but I get the feeling it was for private ears only. With a nod, Raisha excused herself, carefully working her way around to me. "You should not be up, young one," I scowled softly.

"I can't lie still for the entire trip," I argued. Raisha seemed to raise a brow, an unimpressed mother staring down her stubborn daughter. I cleared my throat. "Is everyone alright?" I asked. Raisha nodded softly.

"They are, more than happy to be returning home. But what of you, Endellion. Are you still haunted by the fears?"

"I'm...I'm not sure. Time will tell, I guess," I shrugged.

"It shall indeed. So let us tell," I stared at her for a moment, suddenly very suspicious. Raisha sat down next to me. "As me a question, anything you like. And go for the throat," I gave the blue-eyed krogan a weary stare. She wanted me to ask an invasive question? Fine, play it her way. Best way to insult a woman?

"How old are you?" I asked. Raisha smiled.

"706, next," I stared. Ok, so when Wrex said krogan were long-lived, he wasn't joking. I frowned. Go for the throat?

"How did you get yourself and 12 other females captured by Saren in the first place?" Raisha's eyes turned away for a moment, lost in the memory. She took her time returning her gaze to mine.

"Saren had hired several krogan to his side, people we would normally consider somewhat approachable. These krogan kidnapped us as we travelled to a visit a clan, bundling us onto ships and whisking us to that facility. There were others, however, they did not survive the experiments. So many needles, so many fluids. I do not know what Saren was doing, only that he was growing a krogan army. How, I am afraid I do not know the answer," I blinked for a time. I glanced to the females, most huddling down for some sleep, I would have guessed. I shook myself out. Time for answers.

"Raisha...what made you want to help me?" The krogan was silent for a time, watching the females quietly. I was beginning to wonder if she would answer me, staying as silent as she was. She eventually turned to face me, expression open.

"Whenever I looked at you, I saw a caged varren, fighting and biting at the shackles that chained you. I did not know why you put me in mind of a varren, I did not understand it. Of all things to pick from, with your small stature and the eyes of a calm, friendly girl, I chose a varren to compare you to. But then, as I watched you, I soon came to realise why that image came to mind. You were angry, annoyed, frustrated. All because you struggled to speak to people. I wanted to help you. I wanted to see you walk with the same confidence down a crowded street as you do in the midst of a thousand geth. At first, I thought the answer lay in anger, as with most humans,"

"But that didn't quite work out," Raisha shook her head, agreeing with me.

"No indeed. You began fighting me, a physical foe, when I wanted to turn your gaze inwards to face the fear. What would free you, I wondered. I doubted sadness would help, only crawl you deeper into the pit of terror. But then I wondered, you had mentioned your combat teacher. You had people you knew, strong people. My hope was that by looking through someone else's eyes, seeing their opinion and point, you would be able to find your voice. You struggled, as most people do when trying to see from another. But perhaps you discovered more on the soul searching than you did trying to find the answer. What were you afraid of, why were you afraid of them? These were the types of questions I wanted to direct you to, and combined with another's perspective, I hoped these would grant you some confidence,"

"It worked...kinda," I shrugged. "I had to imagine a friend at the end of a gun to speak against Saren though,"

"So perhaps seeking your loyalty would be a better option for cementing these lessons," I paused, stared. "I wish for you to try this, when you next get the opportunity. When you need to speak to someone, to collect something for example, imagine that it is medicine for a close friend," my hackles rose. "And that the person you are going to speak with is the only person with the cure,"

"That...won't end well," I coughed.

"For who?"

"Them," I smiled a little. Raisha chuckled softly.

"Then I hope I never have to cross your war path," I grinned a little.

"So, one more question," Raisha blinked slowly, waiting. "Why did you smile when I headbutted you?" Raisha snorted, hardly friendly.

"Allow me to make myself clear, Endellion. Ever belittle yourself to such a...male reaction, I will punish you as we would an unrestrained child. I will not tolerate such behaviour against myself or to any of my females," I stared.

"But...Wrex said-"

"Wrex is a male krogan. They retort with violence, and the 'headbutt' is one of their ways to deal with each other. Not so with the females. Do so against a female, and you will walk away with a very sore bottom," I flushed.

"B-but...why did you smile?"

"Because I cracked you. I managed to overtake your fear. However, I was not impressed with the headbutt at all," she frowned severely. "Had you been my daughter, I would have had you scrubbing this ship top to bottom," I glowered a little, trying to beat the flush down that was trying to creep up on me. "Now, this brings me nicely to my own question," I blinked, curious. Her stare was solid, unmoving. "I must ask why you are up. You were clearly in pain a little while ago," I battered my flush down.

"Can't sit on my arse all day. Besides, the medi-gel's kicked in. I'll be fine!" Raisha scowled softly. "Raisha, I'm fine! This is nothing compared to what happened happened to me when Mat'al trained me," Still the krogan gave me a stern look, unhappy I was resisting her. That was the impression I got, anyway.

"No, young one," Raisha shook her head adamantly. "You need to rest. Who knows what you will find on the Citadel when you arrive," I opened my mouth to argue, but the tall krogan towered over my seated form. She even had the nerve to pluck me off the ground like a spoilt kitten! I flailed under her grip as she all but dragged me back through into the room I had awoken in, cursing Raisha's name until she gently pushed me back on the cot. I tried to ignore the amused expression on Anthon's face as Raisha crossed her arms by the bunk.

"Raisha," I tried in a calm voice. "I'm fine. Really,"

It failed.

"I care not, Endellion. You will remain here, and if I must tie you to the cot to keep you in it, I shall," I glowered at the krogan, but she was hardly frightened. Eventually, I submitted. Let her win this fight, I reasoned. There will be others, I was sure.

So I lay there for hours, waiting for sleep to finally come. My back still burned and my face was throbbing in time to my heartbeat. Note to self, don't get punched by a turian. Actually, don't get punched in the face in general. Or headbutt krogans. Christ, that hurt! I rubbed my forehead gently, trying to feel for any fractures. Yeah, Raisha didn't have much to fear on the headbutting front.

But eventually sleep came...

_And I was back in the gold, red and green haze of a dream. Well, I wished I was, because now everything was crystal clear. And what I saw before my eyes only heightened my feeling of dread, of solitude. Of a bleak future. _

_I screamed when I saw that the moving black shadows were actually shaped like Sovereign, Reapers. The green was plants and trees, a setting sun staining everything red and gold. Vegetation burning under the brilliant red lasers that blinded me, bursting out from before my eyes. I was high in the air, staring down at an almost feline race, with wings sprouted on their backs, firing guns at me. I felt a leg move, and I watched in horror as a massive leg, much like Sovereign's, moved into view. Brilliant amber bullets swam before me, but did nothing to me. _

_I was a Reaper._

_And I was watching the systematic eradication of an entire race. _

_I screamed 'Stop!', tried to wrestle control from the Reaper body I was trapped in. Cables burrowed under my skin locked me in a wall of wire, arms pulled out, leaving me hanging like a cross. My legs disappeared into the wall of blue-lit cables, and I dreaded to think what my face looked like. I tried to tell these poor aliens to run, but the slaughter...the slaughter was unstoppable. Then a large Reaper landed nearby, six golden eyes staring at me, crushing any aliens under its legs without thought or care. The very presence of this Reaper seemed to make every muscle freeze.I struggled to breath, struggled to comprehend this...machine. _

"Nyryntha. You have been selected to be the Advocacy for the 18th coming cycle,"_ it answered in a monotone voice, deep, authoritative. I was terrified. My Reaper turned to face the larger, six-eyed one. _

"As you command, Harbinger. I will meet with the Vanguard and Architect in due course,"_ was Nyryntha's answer. Her voice drowned every sane thought from my head, nearly drove me mad at one point. I screamed, fought uselessly against the restraints embedded in my skin. _

_I couldn't help them...i couldn't save them..._

_Kar'loch!_

My eyes flew open, staring into the muted darkness of the ship. My throat was moist and still, not a scream had ripped from my throat throughout the entire dream. My breathing was calm, my skin was dry. This...this hadn't been like the other nightmares. No, no this one was completely different. What had been that race? Prothean? Or was it from a race long ago? A memory of Nyryntha's? They said the 18th cycle? Tali mentioned something about a 50'000 year cycle. So this would be about...9 million years ago. I rubbed my eyes, my pounding head sounding like a drum to my ears. Nothing made sense. I needed answers if I was to protect everything. But I knew I would get no answers from Nyryntha.

I was on my own.

And there wasn't a soul in the universe I could turn to.


	20. Chapter 20

I stared out over the vast emptiness of space captured in the arms of the Citadel, secured within the Wards. The steaks of amber light radiating from the arms reminded me of circuitry, and I couldn't resist the thought that it reminded me of the Reapers...I sighed softly. I really didn't need to think about that right now, or the potential bombs inside me, God knows where those so called generators were. And I really didn't need to be reminded of the fact there was a machine trying to indoctrinate me.

I had noticed it over the past 24 hours, it was pretty obvious. I could feel it like a dark stain trying to plunge every spark of life into darkness. I would feel it twist my thoughts, burn my anger or – as the case was most of the time – spike my fear. But then it would wash off me after a few hours, as if there had never been a soul destroying disaster inside me. I assumed that my 'Saboteur' status gave me immunity from indoctrination, but it took time to warm up, much like a radiator in a large room. Those first few hours before that immunity kicked in...I needed to find a way to block indoctrination totally.

But Raisha's last words rang like a hymn in my memories, hope back to fighting strength and ready to take on this nigh invisible foe;

_I double checked the clips holding my guns to my hips. In the Citadel, I was taking no chances. The salarians were preparing to leave, to take the krogan back home. Raisha walked out with me, staring around the Citadel with curious eyes. I doubted much surprised or truly awed her any more, not with her level of experience. The krogan smiled down at me as I leaned against a railing. _

"_I suppose this is where we part ways," I told her. Raisha nodded her head slowly. _

"_It appears that it is. I hope the next time we meet, there will be less...fighting," I managed a small laugh. _

"_We can only wait and see," I shrugged. _

"_Indeed. I wish you well, Endellion, for whichever path you choose to walk. However, please remember this; when you fell the chill of fear upon you; fear is only as powerful as you allow. Stand tall, and you shall never fall under its snare again," She gave me a firm grasp on my shoulder. "And should you need any aid, do not hesitate to get in contact. You have my details?" _

"_I do...thank you, Raisha," I smiled, squeezing her arm gently. "Hope you get home safely," _

"_Travel strong, Endellion," Raisha turned, striding back onto the ship. Anthon nodded his head, warrior to warrior. I nodded back. The doors secured themselves, and in minutes, the ship was a speck among the stars._

Turian. Salarian. Krogan. Huh, I was doing well with being friendly with every species. I wonder how long that would last with a Reaper inside of me. Not long unless I found some way to stop it...or myself. The sun was still my default fail-safe. I doubted a Reaper could survive that.

But what was I to do? I was off Virmire, away from Saren...now what? Should I contact Shepard and let him know I want to rejoin the Normandy? Or do I call Mat'al and finally take up his offer? I didn't know. And I wished I did. Because now I was stuck on the Citadel with very little money and no where to stay. I didn't know anyone who stayed on the Citadel to crash with, didn't have enough money for a hotel if I wanted to pay for my food at the same time...I suppose there were shelters but...I groaned, slapping hands on hips. I really didn't know what I was doing.

I wondered if anything else could complicate the situation.

I pushed myself off the railing, turning my back to the stars. I needed to walk, to clear my head. I strode off into the Wards, staring around the variety of aliens around me; turian, asari, elcor, hanar, salarian, krogan, volus. So many species, and I doubted I had named all of them. All of these people were in danger and they didn't even know it. What if Nyryntha took control of me right here, made me slaughter all of these people? Would I evolve into a Reaper? Into the next Sovereign? I rubbed a hand down my face. So much uncertainty, so much I had to learn before I could try to locate a solution to my problem.

Someone smashed into me, hard. I stumbled, grabbing hold of a nearby pole, already flinging myself to spin around. Just in time to see an almost scaled, bluish toned alien run from me. I just saw a flash of blue eyes before the hood covered the face.

With my Locust in their hand.

"Why is it always the fucking Locust!?" I roared, anger simmering like an angered dog.

I tore after the alien, not even bothering to make the typical demands to stop. When did that ever work anyway? The alien was fast, and I was hardly light with my armour, but my God, I kept pace. People yelled and leapt out the way, keeping a clear path between myself and the alien. Was it an asari? What other aliens had blue toned skins? To be fair, I didn't know enough alien species to be certain on that. The alien scrambled up a nearby ladder, reaching a balcony on someone's flat. They kicked the ladder down, thinking that would stop me.

Just as well I went back to gymnastics.

I ran at a nearby wall, running up two steps before pushing myself off and twisting myself in the air. I grabbed a metal pole, running horizontally along the bottom of the balcony, for decoration. I scrambled up the poles like a ladder, hauling myself over the glass balcony. The alien was using biotics to jump over some of the gaps between more balconies aiming for some kind of tunnel. With no biotics myself, I improvised. I wall ran and jumped to clear the distances, rolling to safely recover from the landing. I repeated this a few times before the alien glanced back, wondering what all the noise was about. I thought I heard it squeak in surprise. Thought you lost me, eh? Bastard.

Well, whatever this alien was, it wasn't asari. It had pinky fleshy patches up the sides of the head, where the ears would be. The skin was also definitely scaled. And this alien was not stopping. It decided to turn up the difficulty. I found myself in tunnels it had been aiming for, and it was running up crates and swinging off high poles. It reminded me of a good ol' game of Assassin's Creed. Just as well I had that game in mind when I took my own training into account. I was still injured, but with my Locust not pulling my belt down, I felt like I had lost a part of myself.

I jumped up the crates like oversized stairs, leaping to grab a low pole. Unlike the alien, which used it's biotics to swing from pole to pole, I forced myself into a hand stand, dropping myself to hurl myself high. I landed with my feet on the 3 inch wide poles. I then began jumping. It was quicker than trying to build up swing, and it also allowed me to grab a higher pole instead of having to fling myself skywards. I then landed on a beam, 6 inches wide. Nothing to me, I trained on the 4 inch balance beam. I chased the alien down, not even slowing down as it wobbled its way over the beam, jumping around a corner to another series of poles.

It tried to lose me by swinging around a corner, but I grabbed a dangling light and swung sharply around the corner. I made a flailed grab at a pole. I hadn't mastered swing turning yet and I was a little disorientated, but my eyes focused on the Locust, and I was back on the chase. The alien glanced at me as it jumped around a corner, frowning. I gave it no quarter as I closed the gap. We eventually found ourselves on an open balcony half-way up a massive skyscraper. The glass sides stopped normal people from falling to their deaths, and the tall frame of the skyscraper ensured an exit via a door at some point. The thief slowed near the edge, back turned to me. I wanted to charge in, to snatch my Locust back, but I didn't want to risk this thief ambushing me. I waited, a safe distance away. If it jumped, and it could with its biotics, I wondered if I could keep up. But no, it slowly turned around, pulling the hood down.

I activated the palm part of my omni-tool, did a search on the extranet, trusting my fingers to dial the right keys as my eyes remained fixed on the creature before me, arm pinned to my side. The scaled skin was a palish blue, a slight green tint to it, the eyes were biotic blue, crystal clear and sharp. Her forehead, definitely female for she carried a small chest, was like a turian in that it was made from plates, some brilliant cyan and cerulean markings on her brow and the back of her head. It was the pinky red flesh flabs running up the side her face, the front of her neck, that held me curious. She held long fins, almost, that hung over the top of the cheeks, nearly covering them until the middle of her nose. They hung behind the exposed flesh like hair, fairly long. Even her lips looked plated with that line splitting it in two.

"Drell," my ear piece buzzed as the image processed. I frowned. I knew nothing about this species. This could be interesting...

"Huh, no one's been able to keep up with me like that," she commented, her biotic blue eyes studying me curiously. Her voice was, again, almost turian. It sounded flanged, but I it sounded more distorted than flanged. I remained silent. Don't let her guess what you are thinking. She raised the Locust, held it one handed. The red haze tried to overwhelm me, but I slammed the anger down into the bowels of my mind with my nerves. No. I was getting that Locust back. Raisha style.

I began walking forward, eyes hard, expression a frigid wall of determination with a dash of anger. He gun wavered in her hand. Each step I made was slow. How would Raisha tackle this? Slow and steady, not making more effort than required. Trick them into thinking you are less than you truly are. I watched her swallow hard, trying to put on a brave face. Reminded me of me, a little.

"S-Stay back, human!" she demanded, her voice hot. I kept approaching, intentionally slow. She gave frantic glances to the jump behind her. She looked trapped. Could she not sustain her biotics long enough to reach the street? Eventually she fired a few bullets. I managed to keep my face solid, but my resolve faltered. My shields complained, but the Locust was almost pathetic unless done in a continuous stream. That was my saving grace, my knoweldge of my weapons. She was resorting to small bursts, giving me more than enough time to recover shields. She had clearly never seen a Locust before. I backed her up to the balcony, walking until I was close enough the Locust was touching my chest.

Then a little more, forcing her arm to bend and the Locust to jam itself into the underside of my jaw.

And I stared with the same stare that I had carried for the walk.

I wasn't sure how I did it, maybe the fact she had the Locust was why I was so determined not to screw up. The drell was staring at me, suddenly less afraid. She grinned suddenly, removing the gun from my throat. She flipped the gun, offering the grip. With my gaze fixed to hers, I grasped the Locust. She released it. I holstered it by my hip again, relieved to feel it's weight. I gave the drell one last look before taking a few steps back, then turning around. Turning my back so close to her had been dangerous, I needed the space. With the drell now out of mind, I was relieved to be on my way back down to the street level. But I stared when she suddenly trotted beside me, grinning like a school girl.

"I'm impressed! No one has done that, so nice to finally meet someone who actually climb some shit," I stopped, simply staring at her as the shock tried to wear off. Was this some kind of technique to throw me off so she could steal something else? I didn't know who this girl was, but she seemed to emotionally swing wildly. I was mildly afraid. "Indira Thermi'a, master thief and escape extraordinaire!" I snorted softly, earning a confused look.

"A, I managed to keep up with your 'escape attempt', _without_ biotics. And b, a master thief doesn't return what they stole," Indira scowled, shoulders rattling like an annoyed wolf.

"I do so most of the time! You're different," she waved a hand, trying to move on. "We should team up! It'd be great fun!" I blanched. I coughed loudly, trying to recover myself. Yeah, definitely a mood-swinger.

"I'm not a thief. Besides, I have enough nightmares hunting me down. I don't need C-Sec doing the same," The drell stared at me for a time. Good, I was scaring her off. I didn't need to put any one in danger. Her eyes suddenly lit up like Christmas lights.

"That's sounds amazing! Count me in! What are we fighting? Geth? Mercs?" I frowned. I _had_ get her away from me! She was terrifying me!

"A hyper advanced race of sentient machines called Reapers who want to destroy all advanced life in the galaxy," I said in a flat tone. Indira's eyes sparkled.

"That's awesome! Where do we find one?" she said in an excited tone. I gaped. I tried to speak, to stop her. "Oh, oh, oh! We need a base! We can use my flat! Come on!" she grabbed my hand, dragging me towards the tall glass doors. I tried to yank myself free, but this drell was stronger than she looked. I yelled at her to stop pulling me the entire time, but she never stopped. I was helpless as she dragged me down the stairs of the building, nearly hurled me into a cab.

Every attempt to stop her was pointless.

"So what do we need? Guns, armour, fire- no wait, they're machines. Electricity maybe? Know any guns that shoot lightning? No? No worries. I'll think of something-"

"Would you just stop for 5 minutes!" I snapped, desperate. "Where the hell are you taking me?"

"Oh relax!" Indira laughed. "Just sit back, we'll have a great time! I know this great club, might even have a dress for you!"

"W-What? N-No! I don't have time for clubbing! I hate clubs!" I tried to throw the door open, to free myself. There was literally no escape from this girl! First she was thinking about fighting machines, now she was more interested in partying! God save me...

"Oh don't be so stuck up! If you go through life taking everything so serious, then you'll never have fun!" I scowled.

"There are some things that you have to be serious about," Indira grinned at me regardless.

"What's your name, darling?" I groaned.

"Endellion," I answered reluctantly.

"Don't worry, Delly," Indira winked. "You'll have a blast!"

"Delly? P-Please, just Dell-"

"Pfft, no thanks," Indira stuck her tongue out in disgust. But then she was back to perky self. "We're here!" She dragged me out the car, making me yelp in surprise. I nearly growled.

"Drell-"

"Indira," she corrected.

"I refuse to call you by name," I yanked my arm free, standing still and glaring at the prancing alien before me. "Until you agree to stop calling me 'Delly'," Indira seemed to be scowling at me. She sighed in defeat.

"Fine, Dellion," I frowned, still better than Delly. Indira put her hands on her hips, frowning at me. "Jeez, are you always this uptight?" I made a high pitched sound of surprise and complaint. "Ah well, I can change that!" She grabbed my hand again, dragging me into a tall building. I had no idea where the hell I was.

She eventually led me into a small flat, tall floor to ceiling windows revealing the 60 story drop and the ongoing traffic flying past. Exiting the narrow corridor between front door and living room, descending some stairs, revealed a wooden floored kitchen to the right, partially hidden by a random piece of wall. A glance to my left showed another short corridor with a few doors on it. Indira leaned on the back of a sofa, her double-lidded eyes gleaming. I straightened, giving her an even stare.

"Now darling, to be fair, you absolutely reek. Bathroom's down the hall," now I openly glared. Indira didn't give me a chance to speak. "I'll hunt around and see if I don't have any spare clothes lying around. Don't really stare here all that often," I finally opened my mouth, but Indira was shoving me down the hall in a heartbeat, cheery smile on her face. "Come along now!" she laughed before shoving me into the bathroom.

"Indira!" I snapped, but it went unheeded. The door was shut in my face and the sound of her footfalls disappeared. I breathed through my teeth until I somehow managed to calm down. I shut the lid of the toilet to sit on it, frustrated. In the quiet of the room, I could finally think.

What the hell had just happened?

I rubbed my eyes slowly as I slowly took in the past half hour. So my Locust had been taken from me, again, and I was dragged away by a hyper, mood-swinging alien I had only just met _and_ had stolen my stuff. This hadn't been going well. I groaned softly as I tried to figure out a way out of this. There was very little I could actually do, I had no training against someone with biotics. I would have to ask Val for some tips.

Speaking of which, Val had answered my short message. I still smiled slightly at the thought. His was just as short, trying to pull one over me as some payback. It simply said 'Well thank fuck for that'. Bless him, really. I grinned, I couldn't wait to meet him in person now, I could imagine his scowl now. I doubted he was as calm as he was pulling off, probably more relieved than anything else. I stretched slowly before deciding a shower wouldn't go amiss. Taking off the battered Colossus armour, I rolled my shoulders in relief. Maybe, if I got some money, I should try and get a custom built set of armour. My first set of armour, the purple one I never learned the name of, had been a write off after Feros. This armour had held better but I doubted it was savable. I ran the hot tap for a moment, waiting for steam to fill the air before adjusting the temperature.

The hot water reminded me how the washing of indoctrination felt like.

I shuddered softly. I still had to worry about that. I couldn't be around people for long, I knew very little on indoctrination, I wasn't sure how long it would be before someone would become indoctrinated, if it was reversible or anything. And I had no idea how to test it either, since I didn't want anyone hurt or exposed to these monsters. I leaned against the warm tiles, letting the water splatter my face. So much still left to learn and I wasn't sure how much time I had. Nyryntha had said I was going against the programming. What was that original code? I knew nothing on hacking, very little on computers. Yet I was an engineer class? I snorted lightly. Bloody Mat'al. Machines and I never got along.

Looks like that was still holding strong.

I did have to make up my mind about Mat'al's offer. I wasn't sure how long he would keep the offer open for before giving up...or physically coming to me in person. He was still asking after me, still following me. For all I knew, he could be right...outside, the...window. I froze for a moment. Bastard. I wouldn't put it past him either. Goddam that salarian! I growled in the water, until I heard the lock flick open and Indira strolled through.

"Do you mind?!" I cried, covering my chest with my arms. Indira shrugged as she dropped a pile of clothes on top of the closed toilet seat.

"No, not at all!" she answered merrily. Already waving and turning out the door. I gaped after the scaled alien.

Mat'al watching me shower was strangely less creepy than Indira.


	21. Chapter 21

"I am _not_ wearing it! For-fucking-get it!" I snapped, wrapped tightly in the silk dressing gown. I was sitting on the bed, the sun slowly setting on the day. I was getting weary, my entire body longing for a good, long sleep but the drell was still insisting on going to a club. Not if I could help it...

"Aw come on! You have such nice breasts, you have to show them off!" Indira pushed.

"My breasts stay covered!" I nearly yelled at the ceiling, frustration taking over every sane thought. Indira scowled, tossing the indecent thing away. The best place for that blasted thing was the goddam bin.

"Alright, how about this one?" She pulled out a lacy red...thing. I gaped.

"It's full of holes!"

"It's for showing off your curvy hips and your creamy skin!" Indira's sing-song voice rang through me, trying to make it sound 'dreamy'. I wanted to hid in a corner at this point.

"I've got _scars_ on my hips, thank you very much!" I snapped. Mat'al's training had left their mark in more places than that... "And a bullet wound on my back, that no-back shite is useless for keeping it protected! I don't need an infection in a place I can't reach!" Indira put her fists on her hips, pouting.

"Hmm, you're going to be harder to crack than I thought..." I snorted. "Alright, alright, lets see," she began shovelling her way through a massive pile of material and sequins.

My frown only deepened with each dress she tossed away. Everything was either showing off far too much skin, had my chest falling out of them, or was so covered in sparkles it looked tacky. I had been sitting here for a good hour while Indira tried to find something I was willing to wear. It just wasn't happening. But my God, this girl was bullheaded! She was not giving up on this endeavour, and I was the unwilling test subject of her entertainment. Mat'al, if you are watching, please, for God sake, help!

"Ok, ok, how about this one!" She pulled out a royal blue cocktail dress, with actual flowing material instead of pencil skirts. It had to lose the sequin belt though. But other than that, it was actually decent. I wasn't going to pass this up, I saw one that was nothing but straps in that pile.

"Fine, fine, just get rid of that bloody belt," Indira smiled in triumph, using her biotics to toss the belt in the 'dead' pile. She tossed the dress to me, still looking smug.

"And I have just the perfect pair of shoes for you as well!"

"No taller than two and a half inches," I cut in. Indira's grin faltered. She openly scowled and pouted before grumbling about me being rigid and heaven knows what. I took the dress into the bathroom to change, but disabled the door to stop her hacking her way in again.

What was I doing? I sighed heavily as I tugged the dress on reluctantly. I hated clubs, hated the loud music and the drunken madness that followed at the end of a night, of the boys demanding my attention and the girls stuck up snorts. I frowned at myself in the mirror. Urg, it wasn't perfect. It had one small hole circling the side of my hip, showing off a nasty scar that reminded me of lichen actually. Bloody burn scar. I was going to have to find some way to cover that. Re-activating the door revealed a pouting Indira as she tried in vain to hack the door open. Can't hack a door that wasn't even on. I groaned as I walked past her and back into the small bedroom. Indira was bounding around my feet like an excitable dog.

"I found some fantastic shoes! Yeah, yeah, they're 6 inches but they look stunning!" I gave her a flat look as I began to drown out the sound of her voice out. I hunted around the room with her trotting at my side like a shadow, telling me how wonderful these impossible to walk in shoes were. I eventually found a square shawl, navy in colour with a silver lining and navy tassels around the edges. It would do. I grabbed it, folded it along the diagonal and tied it around my waist. There, that covered that blasted hole.

I ignored the girl as I picked up a pair of small heeled, black strappy shoes. I slipped them on while Indira complained and whined the entire time. I crossed my arms as I stared at her sternly. Honestly, if my kids were ever like this... She sulked, finally accepting defeat. I grabbed two leather and kevlar bundles of strap from the bed, before securing them to my thighs. I holstered my Locust and Carnifex to them. Omni-tool snapped to my wrist, I sighed as I readied myself. No jewellery, despite how loudly the drell complained about it. Eventually Indira threw her arms in the air and gave up. She pouted at me in her flashy black dress.

"Fine, have it your way," she sulked. I rolled my eyes. Yes, I was taking up Mat'al's offer. Anything to get away from this insane girl!

"Alright, so we're ready now wh-" I heard the front door open, froze. Indira blinked, flushing slightly.

"I'm home, darling!" a female voice rang out. I slowly turned my gaze to Indira, who looked embarrassed.

"Ah, ok, looks like we need to go out the hard way," she dashed to a vent above the bedside table. I stared, horrified.

"This...isn't your flat?" I asked in a quiet voice. Indira snorted.

"Of course not! Why would I live in a dump like this!" she pulled the vent free, jumping up to crawl in it. "Now come on, don't want to get caught!"

"You- why...you...dammit!" I snarled as I dashed for the vent. I jumped up to reach it, crawling through the tight interior as Indira used her biotics to put the vent back on. She was grinning as we crawled in the near dark. Then I heard a female cry out, I heard the faint words of 'robbed' reverberate in the ventilation. My guilt was killing me, but my gaze was nearly melting the metal of the shaft as Indira led us out. What the hell was wrong with this girl!? Eventually, we crawled out at street level, Indira sealing our escape exit.

Well, I had just lost another set of armour.

And I was furious.

"Indira, you thieving bitch-"

"Oh calm down," Indira laughed. "We're fine! Come on, I know this fantastic club over here!" she grabbed my arm, yanked me out the alley and into the street. Why was she so strong?!

I was frowning severely as we strolled down the street. Or, well I was being dragged but hey. So, I mocked myself, I had broken into someone's home, stolen some of their clothes and managed to avoid getting caught as she came home. This drell was so dead...Speaking of which, she was grinning seductively at anything male we passed. Her long frills on the back of her head swayed with her bouncy walk. My cheeks were flushed red from the looks some of the men were giving us. How I wanted to bring my slightly curled hair in front of my face. Please, just let this end!

Blessedly, we eventually came to the club, a place named Embrace. I didn't like the sound of it already. There was a turian bouncer at the door, checking the faces of everyone who walked in. Indira strolled forward with confident steps while I limbered unwillingly beside her. The turian eyed Indira up, before he frowned, moving to stand between us and the door. Indira sulked slightly, but continued walking, if a little unhappily. We stopped in front of the turian, his brownish toned skin stained blue from the neon.

"You're barred from here, Drell," he told her. Indira sulked softly, putting on her best pouting face.

"It was an accident..."

"Don't care, move on," he warned. Oh God bless this turian! Indira unhooked her arm from mine, freeing me, and slowly approached the turian. Much like I had with her, only her eyes were lusty. Oh, God, no...

"Are you sure...there isn't some way to get in?" she asked quietly, gently running her hands up his chest, tracing her fingers along his carapace. The turian looked interested now, a slow grin spreading on his face.

"Well, maybe I could let you in...if you make it worth my time," his hand gripped her bum. Hard. She made a soft sound, almost pleased. "And you're friend will join in too?" Wait...

"Of course she will," Indira answered in a husky voice, nearly grinding herself against him.

What!?

My skin by this point had lost all colour. The hell no! I was not sleeping with this guy! How did a human have sex with a turian anyway? No, wait, bad place to go! That was a very, _very_ bad place to go! As I frantically tried to get my thoughts under control, my legs started moving. It was then I realised that Indira was using her biotics to make me move.

Fuck!

I tried to fight as my hands gripped his carapace, my expression all smiles and seductive looks. Goddam it, fighting Nyryntha was easier than this! What was that goddam Reaper doing anyway?! Laughing her damned ass off, that's what! The turian's eyes were gleaming wildly, muttering 'feisty' to me, thinking the biotic aura around me was mine. He slapped my bum, making a strange sound escape my throat. This was so not happening! The turian was grinning while he led us around the side of the building, a bum cheek in each hand. Indira was crawling all over him, while I was trying to fight the biotics making me do the same thing. Once we entered the darkness of an alley, through the door at the end of the dirty corridor, he led us into a small closet with a mattress on the floor. This was obviously a very common thing.

Then he lowered his head and stole a kiss from me.

And I was freed from the biotics.

I never punched someone so hard in my life. All my panic, all my anger, was thrown into that one right hook. The turian went flying on his back while I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I was so busy gagging at the taste of cigarettes and foul beer I barely noticed Indira kick the turian in the head, then again. I watched as she knocked the turian out, grinning with satisfaction. She dusted her hands and headed for the door.

"Easy huh?" I stared helplessly at her as she strolled out the door, holding it open for me. "Come on, the club awaits!" I slowly straightened, glanced to the bleeding turian on the ground. Bastard, could die here for all I cared. He slapped my ass! I didn't even allow my boyfriend to do that! I walked out the closet, but I was giving Indira hard, almost hateful looks. Indira ignored them though, guiding me through the maze of corridors until we met a door leading into the club itself.

I wanted to cover my ears against the bounding base, the loud cries from the people themselves. I managed to resist that urge, but only because Indira had locked arms with me and was dragging me down to a bar near a dance floor. I stared through the pink and blue neon, through the gloom. I saw members from all species dancing, talking, drinking. I felt very insecure. Clubs did that to me. I never felt safe in them. Indira leaned on the bar, the look she gave the barman would have swept most off their feet.

"Hey handsome, a drink for me and my friend here," I opened my mouth to tell her I was teetotal, but the barman recognised her, already making up some drinks. I leaned on the wooden bar, now glaring with full rage at the girl.

"Indira!" I yelled over the music. The drell laughed.

"Amazing, isn't it! I love this place!" I stared. I couldn't even tell her to stop because she was never listening! Dammit, what did I have to do to make this girl stop! The drinks appeared at our arms, the salarian barman grinning at Indira, giving her a wink before disappearing. I glanced to her. "Slept with him once. He loved it," she laughed. Of course she had... She had probably slept with every bloody male in this goddam club! I groaned. Just let me get the hell out of here, please!

I reluctantly glanced to the drink at my arm, sending goosebumps dancing up to my shoulder. I sniffed the drink wearily, wondering what kind of concoction this was. The brilliant pink liquid smelled sweet, seemed harmless enough...Indira was diving into hers, a content smile on her face. Ah fuck it. I downed the entire drink. If I was no longer going teetotal, may as well start strong. Indira laughed at me, grinning as she turned her gaze to the dance floor. It was then something grabbed my hips and nearly yanked me off my feet. I yelped, spinning around to face a human male.

"Hey there, sweet thing. Not seen you 'round here before. I've got a nice little booth is you...wanna get more comfortable," I stared, nearly wild. I forced his hands off my hips.

"No thanks,"

"Ah, come on. Why else would a pretty thing like you come to a strip club?" My expression was frozen to one of horror. I glanced around the room, really looked. Well...that explains why there were pole dancers everywhere. And...why some people were removing clot- oh stop looking! I shoved the male away, backing up to Indira. _This_ was why I hated clubs!

"Not by choice," I growled at him. "Piss off," I marched over to Indira as she was wooing some poor asari. I grabbed her arm, making her and the asari jump. "Excuse us for a moment," I smiled at the asari before dragging Indira to the nearest bathroom. Well, I got as far as the corridor there because I was hearing very loud moaning coming from both male and female bathrooms. "WHAT THE FUCK!?" I screamed at Indira. She blinked.

"What's wrong?"

"Wrong? What's-," I took a deep breath, calm down, Dell. I glared at Indira. "A _strip club_, Indira? Honestly?!" Indira rolled her eyes.

"Well, I decided the best way to get you to loosen up was to find a nice man and have a tumble. Or four, depending on how many guys you find,"

"Indira, I've only ever had sex once and that was bloody enough!"

"But you have so much pent up sexual tension!" She answered, gently squeezing the top of my shoulders as if that would prove of the tension I was carrying. I was surprised fire was snorting out my nose by this point. I nearly screamed.

"My 'sexual tension' is mine to do with as I wish. That is something you have no right to even be trying to 'help'," I growled. Indira sulked, leaning on a hip.

"Man, you are the toughest nut I've ever tried to crack...what about dru-"

"Don't. Even. Go there," I interrupted. Indira snorted lightly. She shrugged.

"Fine, but just keep an open mind. You might find someone, a dark skinned salarian,"

Wait...

"Or a lovely brown turian. Always had a thing for the bronze or copper ones you know-"

"Arrrh!" I yelled, covering my ears. Indira jumped, gaped at me in surprise. "Thanks Indira!" I roared. "Now I've got images of Val and Mat'al on strip poles! That's just the thing I wanted to see! Fucking hell!" Indira stared at me for a moment before covering her mouth. It was then I knew she was laughing her ass off at me. I made a swing for her, but she ducked and ran into the crowd, laughing loudly.

Well, I was scarred for life!

I stomped up the bar, desperate for anything to take my mind off the images Indira had unknowingly planted in my head. The salarian blinked at me as I nearly slammed my elbows into the wooden bar to cover my face. I finally faced him, ignoring the odd looks from the people around me. At this point, I couldn't care less about what anyone thought about me or my behaviour at this point. Raisha would be so proud. Well, not of what I was about to do.

"Give me the most foul tasting drink you've got!" I managed over the music. The barman's eyes lit up.

"You doing the Swa'hila?" he asked, a slow grin appearing on his face.

"The what?" I asked, too frustrated to really care.

"Two pints of the most foul mixture of drinks, and only 1% alcohol in each so you can't get drunk to make it pass easier." he pulled out a list of the drinks in this thing. I briefly glanced over it. Baterian Ale, Hanar Whiskey, Scottish Scotch. Fuck, I hate scotch. That alone made it perfect. The list continued.

"Make it!" I demanded immediately. The salarian's eyes sparkled while he made an elaborate play of making the two pints of...grey liquid? I wanted foul, I hoped this lived up to the name. A small crowd had gathered, apparently the luxuriant play of bottles only happened for this contest they had. The two pints drifted in front of me, and it was only then I noticed the silence. I glanced around, many an eye on me. The smell coming off this...thing. Part of me was regretting it.

But then an image of Mat'al on a strip pole-

I ignored the cheers as I grabbed one of the glasses and began downing it. Chants roared up in several languages, the noise deafening me. Well. It did exactly as I had asked for. I nearly gagged as the taste hit me, only the thought of drowning these horrible images out of my head kept me from throwing it right back up. I slammed the first one down, gasping for air over the thunder of voices and stamping feet. The taste of this thing alone made me feel better. I eyed the second pint, and my stomach whined. My brain was actually on its best behaviour, no more images flying before me or anything dodgy. I didn't need the second pint. The hush set in as they waited. Fuck, it was a challenge right? Alright, what else could I vent out on? The turian's hand on my backside, the human nearly dragging me off my feet, Indira-

I was surprised when I was staring down at an empty pint glass. I wanted to hurl, but my anger was the sole thing between me and the barman getting soaked in sick. I slammed the glass down, sitting on a stool to let my now aching stomach recover. God, now I wish I had kept my mouth shut. I shuddered softly, nearly feeling cold shivers take my body over. Almost like I was falling ill. Goddam I was going to be in a state in a few minutes. And all the pats on the shoulder and back was not helping in anyway.

I felt someone touch my shoulder, feather light but my skin burned from the touch. I blinked blearily, looking up to an asari who was giving me strange looks. Her smile unsettled me but with my blood starting to burn, I was more worried about getting to a hospital now. She leaned on the bar lazily, the hush had returned. Why was I so worried about who this woman was? Something abouther rubbed me the wrong way. She began tracing her fingers along my jaw. I jerked my head free, giving her a warning glare. The jerk sent my gaze swimming, the room beginning to swirl and dance before me. My stomach whined in warning. She frowned slightly.

"I'm very impressed. Very few have managed to withstand my challenge. It takes a certain...fortitude to take on the Embrace Swa'hila," she gently caught my chin with her hand, but I once more jerked it free, nearly whimpering from the way my brain seemed to ache from the movement.

"Thanks, but I really just drank it to clear some thoughts. Now, if you excuse me," I paid for the drinks. I wasn't sure how much I threw down, but I just wanted out. That damn drink worked damn well, I had to say, but the after-effects were too dreadful to imagine. I began shoving myself to my feet, the room swam once more. I swayed for a time before I finally managed to turn towards the door. I nearly hurled when I was yanked back gently by the asari.

"But what about your reward?" she asked softly, catching my shoulders in her hands. I raised my chin a notch, becoming more nervous by the minute as I tried to see straight. She was a good head or so taller than I. And stronger. Wait, had her eyes always been black?

"Don't want it, thanks," I answered coolly, or as coolly as I could with my whole body shivering from the drinks. First Indira, and now this asari? I really didn't need this.

"But darling, a private show with me? My name is Morinth, I can certainly make it worth your time,"

"Sorry, don't swing that way," she blinked in surprise. I managed to shrug myself free, stumbling back almost drunk like. "My general rule of thumb is 'If it has tits, I don't bang it', though if that's how you go, I don't care," I grabbed the counter of the bar, steadying myself. "Men only, I'm afraid. And asari are all females to me," Morinth was giving me confused looks. She eventually gave me a blinking disc.

"Well, if you ever change your mind, give me a call," she winked softly.

I took the disc from her without a word and took a few strides back towards the door. The whole room was swinging and so concentrated on where I was going, I ignored the way Morinth stared after me in surprise, as if she had been expecting something. The silence was telling, but then the bump of the base eventually got people talking. I exited through the front door, enjoying the cold air after that stuffy...place.

I turned down an alley and threw the entire contents of my stomach up.

I was clinging to a wall, desperate for help as the chills began to evolve into pins and needles. I was feeling warm, my joints were aching. Then a chill ran down my spine, but it seemed to be chasing the illness away. I blinked for a time, trying to see straight again. Looking up, Indira was finishing the medi-gel application. Her face was one of awe.

"Oh, my God, you turned down Morinth!" Her voice was too loud. I winced. "No one turns down Morinth! How did you do it?" I frowned slightly as my sight stabilised slightly.

"By...saying no?" I shrugged messily. "I dunno. But what I do know is I'm going to a hotel and I'm going to sleep this goddam thing off. Away from you and all your crazy,"

"Um, yeah about that," she cleared her throat. "That...disc you got," I raised an eyebrow. "Can I have it?" I snorted

"Pfft, no. I've taking it somewhere quiet then putting a Carnifex bullet through it," Some target practise would be lovely, actually. But it would have to wait until I was feeling 100% again.

"Wait waitwaitwaitwaitwait!" Indira crouched beside me, hands on my sensitive shoulders. "OK, let me explain! I'm Indira Thermi'a, member of the Hanar Intelligence Agency as per the Compact," Uhh...what? "Several high ranking Hanar representatives have gone missing after coming to this club over the past few months. I have come to investigate this through any means necessary. I knew that the bar owner handed out discs to people who managed to escape her enthralment after completing her club's challenge. I knew I couldn't do it, but if I could find someone who could..."

"So...you stole my Locust to test me?" I blinked, wondering why my anger wasn't exploding. Illness, I reasoned.

"Yeah. You...did much better than I thought but I worried about your resolve...then you proved to be a tough nut to crack so I thought...yeah, maybe you could do it,"

"And the flat?"

"An asari spy who sent thousands of credits missing from several charity pots in order to pay for her new mansion on Thessia," I stared.

"The barman?"

"Inside source, couldn't get the discs himself so he downplays the challenge for my folk,"

"Wait, that wasn't the full thing?"

"Oh no, you would be dead if you had drunk to proper thing," Indira laughed. "The turian brandy alone would have you in a coma, by now. Thankfully, it's just the Hanar venom that's affecting you. I'll clear up once we get you hydrated," I stared for a heartbeat.

"...venom?" Indira flushed. "Just...don't even try," I groaned softly, leaning my head against the bricks of the building. "The turian?"

"A known paedophile with a love for young girls of asari and human nature. He still has several rape charges pending against him,"

"...Can I gun his nuts off?" Indira laughed.

"Internal testicles, shoot wildly, you'll hit them eventually," she grinned. Well...that was...a lovely biology note. I glanced to the glowing disc in my hand. I frowned at the girl pleading before me. I sighed.

"Fine, but you owe me for this _and_ the hell you put me through to get it," Indira beamed as she eagerly took the disc, slipping it into her bra.

"Thank you, Dellion! I swear I'll make this up to you!" Something glittered in the alley we were in, off to my left. I frowned, trying to straighten my sights. "With this, we might be able to find out what happened to those hanar," the glitter became a torch, and something about it reminded of something with legs. "This handy little-"

"Geth?" I frowned, staring at the torchlight pointing in my direction. Indira frowned.

"No, disc, not geth. Are you even listening to me?" Ok, that was _definitely_ a geth light. I drew the Carnifex.

"No, Geth!" I grabbed her, stumbling to my feet and firing at the general direction of the light. Sadly for me, my sight was far from straight and I missed. Numbed from the medi-gel, I barely noticed the bullet tearing through my left forearm. I was saved from another bullet by Indira grabbing my gun and emptying the clip into the machine. I sat hard on the ground, trying to see through the haze before my eyes. Indira stared at the shattered remains before her, giving me a long look as she ripped some of my skirt to bandage my arm. I looked back to her dimly.

Why where geth here? The only person I knew who had geth was Sare-...hang on. Sovereign mentioned the Keepers, the little bug things that ran around the Citadel? And Saren was looking for the Conduit, right? And this Conduit was meant to help bring the Reapers back. And they were in dark space, so the only feasible way for them to come through to the Citadel was through a mass relay. I knew there was a monument of one in the Presidium-

Was that an actual working relay?

I straightened. Hang on, hang on. Was the Conduit...a relay to the Citadel? So, that means Saren and his army could be far away then come through a relay to land right in the heart of the Citadel. And from there try to activate a relay for the Reapers? But where was that relay? My head was hurting too much to try and work this crap out. It would, however, explain why Saren was desperate to find a way onto the Citadel. There was no way he could land on the Citadel if he attacked directly. So he found a back door...I stumbled to my feet, leaning on Indira for support.

"C-C'mon. W-we've got an army of geth to fight," Indira frowned.

"Not like this, you aren't. This way," she took my hand, dragging me out of the alley and towards a cab.

Everything was still spinning.


End file.
